Once upon a time I met a guy at a bar I totally clicked with. He was sexy, smart, ambitious, well-dressed, and single. In fact, we were both just a few months out of relationships and looking to date around. The big difference between us, though, was that he had remained close with his ex, and I, while having broken up with mine amicably, didn’t feel the need to keep him in my life past the occasional email or phone call. Now, this guy we’ll call Matt tried to explain to me it wasn’t a big deal that he was friends with his ex, and for a while I believed him. They were both finishing up med school at the same place, after all, and had some classes together and a lot of mutual friends. But as time went on and he and I became exclusive, it became more and more obvious to me that we weren’t actually the only two people in our relationship. His ex, however “harmless” he said she was, seemed to always be lingering right on the edge of, if not actually wedged right between, us. Keep reading »
