Sigh. So many assholes, so little time. Unfortunately, there were many, many people who behaved like anuses this year, but I managed to whittle the list down to a final group of 13 sphincters whose shittiness really went above and beyond.
In a desperate attempt to stay internet relevant, deranged sorority sister Rebecca Martinson penned a totally anticlimactic, completely pointless account of a drunken blowjob she gave with a friend once in college for Vice. Because…why? She’s segued from writing mean things about her sorority sisters to writing mean things about guys she’s fucked? Inventive. Keep reading »
Remember Rebecca Martinson, the University of Maryland sorority girl who sent her fellow Delta Gammas a lengthy screed that introduced the world to the term “cunt punt”? Of course you do! Things have worked out well for Rebecca, despite being mocked mercilessly by the internet and being given the boot by her sorority — she’s been writing a reliably bitchy column for the dude site Bro Bible and now comes news that she’ll be putting pen to paper on her first novel. Ahh, book deals, so hard to come by these days unless you’re a horrible waste of space. Martinson is co-writing the book with the creator of the blog White Girl Problems (sounds like a collaboration made in heaven) and it’s being shopped around by none other than Tucker Max’s agent, so I think we can expect a best seller. Personally, I thought that Martinson’s notorious cunt punt email, while nasty as hell, was pretty well-written, funny and had good timing. Which is not to say I approve of this book deal. I just hate it less than others. [Huffington Post]
Rebecca Martinson, modern study in leaning in and sorority girl extraordinaire, has penned an advice column for BroBible called “A Guide To Getting A Guy To Text You The Morning After,” and surprise! It’s full of really solid advice! Rebecca’s like that friend we all have or definitely need — one who gives stringent, bracing advice that leaves you at first clutching your pearls but then nodding your head in agreement. Perhaps this kind of advice is a form of female pickup artistry; these instructions, once you strip away the aggressive, Regina George-ness of it all, are pretty good. The whole thing is kind of a gem. Let’s unpack this.
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Last one, we swear! If you get Morgan fucking Freeman to read Rebecca Martinson’s Delta Gamma sorority letter, you better believe we’re going to post it. Okay, maybe it’s not Morgan Freeman himself, but a Morgan Freeman sound-a-like named Josh Robert Thompson — and it’s pretty damn convincing. This could change everything. Think about “Shawshank Redemption,” for one. What if Morgan Freeman’s character Red had been all, “ANDY! Don’t be a cunt punt! Dig us out of prison!” How much better would that movie have been, really? [HyperVocal]
And now we’ve reached the end: Disgraced Delta Gamma sis Rebecca Martinson has resigned from the University of Maryland chapter of her sorority, following a week of radio silence from Martinson and the chapter. Yup, the woman who has gifted us with the phrase “cunt punt” has left the building. In a public statement, Delta Gamma said that the “tone and content of [Martinson's] email was highly inappropriate and unacceptable by any standard.”
The full letter is after the jump!
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