Daters of the Friskyverse, I have been tossing around the idea of writing about dating resolutions for the New Year. And then I thought, Nah. Last year, my resolution was to make the first move. I did. We dated for a while and then broke up. We’re still friends. Resolution accomplished. Good for me. I’m sure you’re planning to make some dating resolutions of your own, aren’t you? Or maybe you’re not. Maybe you’re bitter about dating right now. I wouldn’t blame you if you were. It’s fucking hard.
I decided to go in a different direction this week. I wanted to take a moment to say thank you to all of you who’ve read this column in the past year. I want you to know that it means a lot to me. It’s really difficult to write about your dating life in a public forum — especially when you’re trying to muddle through it yourself. I get so wrapped up in all of the emotions and trying to process them and getting over my insecurities enough to write about them that sometimes I forget anyone reads this column. (Or, at least, it’s easier to tell myself that no one reads so I don’t freak out every week.) Keep reading »
Brigham Young University has delivered a questionable study about the effects of having sex early on in a relationship. The study asked 11,000 unmarried people in steady or serious relationships to rate their relationships in the areas of satisfaction, communication and stability. Those couples who had sex within the first few weeks of dating rated lower than those who waited longer to get it on.
“The eventual mismatch between individual sexual expectations and actual rewards may undermine healthy couple formation processes,” theorized the researchers.
But wait! Before you impose a mandatory, three-week abstinence period, how soon you have sex might not make all that much of difference after all. Keep reading »
The ticket to a longer life: happiness, reports the Daily Mail. In 1940, Harvard researchers reviewed 200 young, white, healthy men; they checked back in on that group every two years. They found that happiness (stemming from factors like marriage, puppies, and friendships) had more of an impact than social factors (like class, wealth, or hometown). Of the 31 men who remained single, only four are still alive today, but more than a third of the men in “good relationships” are still going strong. Read more…
Hello, there. Full disclosure. This post is a thinly veiled excuse for me to complain about my really bad morning. I could have used an open letter format. Had I, it might have been titled “An Open Letter To The Broken Refrigerator That Ruined My Morning.” I would have ranted about my broken refrigerator and all the rotten food I had to discard. And how the delivery men destroyed my apartment getting the new fridge in/old fridge out. And how my landlord stopped by in the middle of the fridge chaos to tell me that I might have a gas leak and that he is raising the rent (all in the same sentence, mind you). I might have gone on to complain about how I spent a good portion of the morning cleaning melt-y, frozen, chicken juice off my hopelessly outdated linoleum floor.
But then I thought about how Jessica got barfed on while riding the subway yesterday and how comparatively, her morning mishap was worse than mine. And then I thought about all of you out there who’ve also probably had really unfortunate stuff happen to you in the morning and how you might feel better if we could all commiserate about it together. And then I determined that a listicle of awful morning shit was in order. For all of our cathartic pleasures, find below, a compilation of crap that will absolutely obliterate your morning (based on things that have really happened to us). Keep reading »
Um. I heard Paris and eligible bachelors. I don’t really need to hear anything further. But I’m still listening. The Adopt-A-Guy Boutique is a “high-end shopping experience for women searching for Mr. Right” located on Rue de La Bonheur (Street of Happiness) in Paris. How very fitting. Keep reading »
One of the more annoying things about dating is being given unsolicited advice by the smug couples of the world, the most offensive kind being played out platitudes about love. Thanks. I’m sure “my time will come” but when? How? At least say something helpful if you’re going to shove your advice down my throat. And by the way, just because I’m not currently in love doesn’t mean I’ve never experienced it before. I have, thank you very much. And here’s what I learned from my experiences: Falling in love is a wonderful, mystical, magical thing, but it’s complicated and nuanced and rare. Every time you fall in love it’s as unique as a snowflake, so it’s absolutely impossible to generalize with some stale old saying. I humbly request a ban on the following love adages on the grounds that they’re stupid and untrue. Oh, and I give you permission to close your ears the next time you hear these phrases … Keep reading »
Think of the best first date you ever went on.
Got it? Okay, what did you do immediately afterwards?
If you’re like some women I’ve been out with, you called up your best friend and gushed all about the date. You even posted a not-so-subtle status update on Facebook. Something along the lines of, “Just had an AMAZING night!”
Now, here’s my next—and more important—question:
Before you gushed to your best friend, before you flaunted your euphoria all over Facebook, did you ever stop to consider how your date might have felt about that “amazing” night?
One scenario I encounter frequently on dating advice sites is the woman who goes on a fabulous first date, only to find herself confused when she never hears from that guy again. So, she’s left to wonder … What happened?
“The date went so well. We had so much fun and clicked so amazingly. He was hot and charming and intelligent. I was hot and charming and intelligent. He couldn’t take his eyes off me the whole night So… why didn’t he call again?!” Keep reading »
Ladies! Hello! I know I’m three and half months early for Halloween, but that doesn’t matter. Why not grab the bull by the horns, and start talking scare tactics? Scare tactics for your boyfriend, that is. Now, as to why you’d want to scare your boyfriend, where even to begin? He misbehaved? He was rude? He scared you? You’re bored and need something to do? You have your reasons. I’ll warn you beforehand, what I’ve done here is a bit of research among friends, women I know, and have known, and who will, of course, remain anonymous. I’ve asked what things they’ve done to scare their boyfriends, both intentionally and not. The lessons I’ve learned have been compiled and included below for your own edification. Happy scaring the piss out of your man! Keep reading »
Dating like a grownup is the quickest path to finally enjoying mutually nurturing relationships with men who are full of respect, adoration and commitment.
If you’re going to date like a grownup, developing empathy for men is crucial. Just like all your relationships, when you have the ability to step outside yourself and get into someone else’s head and heart (even just a little), your connections instantly improve.
Single men carry around old baggage and wounds just like we do. They’ve accumulated their fair share of dating and relationship bumps and bruises; in fact, they’ve probably had more. Think about it: they’ve been the ones responsible for putting themselves out there first since they were teenagers. Ouch. Talk about rejection. Read more …
A study done at the University of Hertfordshire found that when it comes to love, it behooves you to (as Oprah instructs) “fake it until you make it.” Professor Richard Wiseman used a team of 100 speed daters as their guinea pigs. One hundred speed dates? That sounds exhausting! Anyhow, what he discovered was that people who acted all lovey-dovey — making googley eyes, pawing at one another, whispering sweet nothings — were more likely to want to see each other again (for more than their allotted three minutes) than the speed daters who played it cool. Keep reading »