For better or for worse, I’m more than a little obsessed with “Teen Mom 2.” After years of watching the series, I feel like I know (and root for!) these young women personally. Watching Kailyn, Leah, and Chelsea adjust to being parents and make questionable choices is always interesting and occasionally infuriating. But nobody has the ability to traumatize my blood pressure levels quite like Jenelle Evans.
Jenelle may be a mom, but most of the time, I find myself wishing I could just swoop in and parent her. Jenelle has been in and out of jail, hopping from one toxic relationship to the next and had yet to regain custody of her son Jace when she decided to get pregnant with a second child after dating the father for what seemed like only a few weeks.
Look, nobody is perfect, but this girl needs some Deepak Chopra 101 or something. I mostly just want to scream at Jenelle, but on the show’s “Unseen Moments” special last week, she told Dr. Drew that mean internet stories about her make her cry on the daily ‚ so I’ll take a kinder approach. Here are some gentle reminders that I would not-so-subtly share with Jenelle if I were to sit down face-to-face with her and play pseudo-shrink. Jenelle, I say these things with love: Keep reading »
There are two things that get me out of bed in the morning: a cup of coffee and Hot 97, New York City’s biggest and best hip hop station. For the last, oh, four years, the “Hot 97 Morning Show” has not only been rousing my tired ass out of bed, but making me sing/rap in the shower, dance around my apartment while I’m getting dressed, and laugh ’til my sides hurt. I’m so obsessed with the morning show’s four hosts — Peter Rosenberg, Cipha Sounds, Old Man Ebro and Laura Stylez — that I regularly tweet at them like they’re my friends and I wrote them a lengthy love letter for Valentine’s Day one year. Now, with the debut of “This Is Hot 97″ on VH1 a few weeks ago, the rest of America is going to be as in love with these four — not to mention fellow station DJs Funkmaster Flex, Angie Martinez and Miss Info — as I am. Keep reading »
Fresh of the disastrous season finale of “The Bachelor” and his appearance on “After the Final Rose,” douchenozzle Juan Pablo Galavis is kinda backtracking on his promise that he and final rose recipient Nikki Ferrell would be conducting their relationship privately. See, he posted this YouTube video about he and Nikki’s relationship yesterday, featuring photos of the two together as a song called “Adventures In Loving You” (which I guess Juan Pablo helped write) plays over top. The video starts and ends with some text written by Juan Pablo in his trademark style (USING randomly capitalized WORDS for NO DISCERNIBLE reason), declaring finally, “Te adoro.” “Te adoro,” incase you didn’t know, is Spanish for “Everyone wants me to say that I love you, but I don’t because I’m a jackass with the emotional depth of Carrot Top’s left nutsack, so I’m saying I adore you instead, which is not the same thing, hope no one notices.” (I’m guessing the word “loving” in name of the song is just love-love not in-love love.)
Best of all, this is not the first cheesy YouTube video Juan Pablo has made about a significant other! Buzzfeed noticed that Juan Pablo made a similar video for his ex-wife/baby mama back in 2009. Check it out after the jump! [Buzzfeed] Keep reading »
Leave it to the Brits to come up with the most out-of-the-box (well, actually, in-the-box) concept for a reality TV show. And leave it to the Americans to steal the idea. WE has announced that it will produce its own version of the British show, “Sex Box.” It’s just what it sounds like. Couples who are having relationship issues go inside a soundproof box, have sex and discuss it immediately after with a panel of sexperts (including the great Dan Savage). Keep reading »
Normally, the two-hour finale of “The Bachelor” and the subsequent hour of “After the Final Rose” are bloated with filler scenes and not-at-all exciting revelations. Even though this season of “The Bachelor” has been unlike any other, in that, you know, Juan Pablo Galavis is not fit to marry anyone and has been all-around terrible, I thought we got the full extent of his doucheitude in every other episode, and this one would be fairly boring and tame. After all, it’s been obvious for weeks that — SPOILER ALERT! – he was going to choose Nikki in the end and Clare was going to be “left brokenhearted.” Well consider me very, very surprised that I found all three hours of last night’s episode to be a complete car wreck of delights. Let’s review the episode’s best and worst moments and then celebrate that Juaaaaaan-uary is finally fucking over. Keep reading »
Well, “The Bachelor” has kind of duped me again. It’s my fault for thinking there was even a chance that last night’s “nightmare fantasy suite” episode would live up to the hype of the teasers, but alas, Andi did not break up with Juan Pablo because he tried to pull a switcheroo and stuck it in her butt during the overnight dates. While that may have happened — girlfriend is walking kinda slowly the morning after (as you’ll see in a clip after the jump) — Andi’s reason for dumping Juan Pablo was the sudden realization that he’s a self-absorbed, uninteresting douchebag. Um … it took until the second to last episode to figure that out? Maybe not! After the jump, my assessment of last night’s debacle — which included a lengthy fight over whether Juan Pablo would use the word “default” (I’m serious!) — and some thoughts on who the next “Bachelorette” could be. Keep reading »