Sunday night can’t come soon enough. “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” reunion part three is going to be, to use this year’s most over-used word, EPIC. Joe Gorga and Teresa Giudice are going to be screaming at one another about hurting “Mommy and Daddy” and Jaqueline’s going to intervene at the exact wrong moment. Good god, I can’t wait.
Since we have a few days to kill til we park it on the sofa and watch with wide eyes as a real family is decimated before our very eyes, let’s talk about the latest Joe Giudice rumors. And, yeah, I’m being a little too magnanimous calling these cheating allegations “rumors” because, come on, everyone knows he’s screwing around behind Teresa’s back. The latest news is that he’s in a committed relationship with a 25-year-old college student. Read more…
There are some who think there is no value in reality TV, but I dare those haters to say as much come Halloween, when these stars of the small screen are the first people we think of as costume inspirations. While you could certain recycle last year’s Courtney Stodden or “Toddlers & Tiaras” costumes, why not consider dressing up as one of unlikely reality TV heroines who entertained the hell out of us in 2012?
The fourth season of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” seemed to go on forever — and it was filmed forever ago too. The cast was actually filming this season of the show when they appeared together to film last season’s reunion show; in fact, the reason why Jacqueline Laurita skipped last season’s reunion show was because the final episode of this season had just happened. The night before the third season reunion, the whole cast had all just attended the Posche Fashion Show, during which the bomb was dropped that Melissa Gorga had allegedly been a stripper — just about everyone blamed Teresa Giudice for being behind this sordid reveal about her hated sister-in-law, while Teresa, somehow, had concluded that one-time BFF Jacqueline had actually set her up. Jacqueline had a total breakdown which is why she didn’t attend the reunion show the next day. A year later, having not seen each other since, the whole cast sat down for another reunion (got that straight?) and DUDE. Even Danielle Staub is sitting at home watching this shit, eating popcorn and being like, These bitches be crazy. The five most explosive moments — so far, as it’s a three-parter! — after the jump! Keep reading »
The nightmare calvary rolls on with the latest installment of “Gallery Girls.” This week is part two of the girls’ decimation of Art Basel Miami, an art scene wankfest set amongst the palm trees and poolsides of Florida. Above, Amelia and Greg from Hyper Vocal discuss their reactions to the episode, which I shall recap in full (with clips!) after the jump! So much “Gallery Girls,” no soulless moment left unanalyzed. Keep reading »
This week, instead of our usual recap of Bravo’s “Horrible Slags Who Pretend To Care About Art,” I mean “Gallery Girls,” I’ve teamed up with HyperVocal‘s dashingly handsome Greg Seals for a Skype video recap of last night’s episode. Watch Greg and I break down Chantal’s three evil personalities, wax philosophical about Eli Klein’s possible/probable sexual fetishes, and reveal Liz’s involvement in the Upper East Side Fight Club. (Also, after the jump, my most favorite GIF ever.) Keep reading »
We were totally shocked when we saw former “America’s Next Top Model” contest Jael Strauss — who’d appeared on Cycle 8 of the series — would be appearing on a “Dr. Phil” episode devoted to her drug abuse. Since appearing on the series six years ago, Jael’s life has taken a severely downward slide. She’s been addicted to meth, and her family begs her to get help during a harrowing Dr. Phil intervention. Jael hardly looks like the beautiful girl she was just six short years ago — with pockmarked skin and bleached blond locks, she appears much older and worn out than most other 28-year-olds.
We wish her the best and hope that Thursday’s episode of “Dr. Phil” gets her the help she needs. Jael is hardly the only reality TV star to slide into addiction — let’s review…
On this episode of “Fancy White Bitches Behaving Badly,” er, “Gallery Girls,” we have a birthday, a breakdown and a frenemy breakup.
Maggie’s birthday is coming up and while she wants to go bowling, her friend Chris (who is still wearing Kefiyahs in 2012, how trendy) tells her that’s “trashy.” Shut up, Chris! Bowling is America’s premiere sport. It’s Maggie’s first birthday with Ryan, her neanderthal boyfriend. “Would it be unclassy of me to get a Diet Coke and a wine?” she asks him. Um, hi Maggie, welcome to my world. Keep reading »
“Start with a polarizing stereotype, saturate with unapologetic flaws, and then add in a dash of humanity for good measure. Snooki is this party girl with tons and tons of makeup and she’s loud and obnoxious. But then she cries and calls her mom or gets pregnant or something and then you find yourself kind of liking her.”
– Reality TV show casting agent Sarah Monson explains her “Snooki principle,” which she uses to cast shows like “The Bachelor” and “Survivor.” If you need more advice on how to be a “polarizing stereotype” with “unapologetic flaws,” Monson has written a whole book on the subject called Me On TV: The First Ever Kick-Ass Guide To Get You On Any Reality TV Show. Yes, a whole book of tips on how to act like a backstabbing lunatic with no personal dignity! [Business Insider]
It took me all of 10 seconds to fall madly in love with “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” the “Toddlers and Tiaras” spin-off about Alana Thompson, the 6-year-old pageant hopeful known for her one-liners and love of Go-Go-Juice, and her self-described redneck family. While I was already enamored with Alana after seeing her on “Toddlers and Tiaras” last year — for being, essentially, the opposite of everything the pageant world wants their living dolls to be — but “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” sold me on the entire Thompson family. What Alana, June, Sugar Bear, Pumpkin, Chubbs, and Chickadee lack in traditional etiquette and higher education, they make up for in love, acceptance, and family values. Keep reading »