I was compelled to hate watch Ryan Lochte’s new reality show, “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” and I’m here to report back that, JEAH, he is just as purely, ridiculously idiotic as you imagined. I’ve narrowed the episode down to my favorite scene for the sake of brevity. But you should know, there were so many unbelievable moments. Like when the producer asked him if he was a player and Ryan responded, “Describe player.”
But far and away, the most entertaining tidbit is when Ryan is having a movie night with his sisters and reveals that his favorite flick is “What Women Want.” But he calls it “What Woman Wants.” Ryan gets a lot of things wrong. He also takes very long pauses after being asked questions and rarely finishes his sentences. “One of my favorite movies is ‘What Woman Want.’ The Mel Gibson one … If I could read woman’s minds, I would be king of the world,” he says. I don’t know if that’s the case. Keep reading »
In Touch did an absolutely terrifying photo spread of the cast of “Dance Moms’” featuring Abby Lee Miller as the black swan. Abby is way, way scarier than Natalie Portman, by the way. The images perfectly convey the dysfunctional nature of the show, which makes me feel so many mixed emotions when I watch: confusion, amusement, outrage … but mostly fear. [In Touch]
Pediatric dentist Dr. Misee Harris of Kentucky is petitioning to become the first ever Black “Bachelorette.” This prospect means a lot is surfacing for me regarding the harmful stereotypes reinforced by women of color on reality television. How would she be received? If she did get an opportunity to be on the show and chose a non-black man, what would the social implications of that be? But more than that, I feel disheartened because I know that this reality reflects how America feels about who deserves to be happy and who doesn’t. Keep reading »
Well, the journey is almost over. Last week, Bachelor Bronze visited the final four’s hometowns and sent sweet Des packing because he was totallys cared of her tattooed brother. This week, it’s time to get the romance on, as Sean and the final three travel to Thailand so Sean can bang all three women on the Fantasty Suite before choosing which two he wants to introduce to his parents. Wait, Sean doesn’t do that. I forgot he’s a born-again virgin. Maybe he’ll finger bang them? Let’s find out! Keep reading »
It’s kind of a fact that British TV is far superior to American TV, which is why American TV steals its best ideas from across the pond. Take the new British dating show “My Little Princess,” debuting next week. “My Little Princess” is a mix of “The Bachelor” and your local Ren Faire. A fair maiden has a bunch of forsoothly lads chasing after her affections. They’re dressed as princes. Her dad is there to regulate. There’s a catapult, lots of men with hoses and waterplay, and each episode two guys compete for her affections by singing a power ballad. And a passel of men in tights. Men. In. Tights.
So yeah, it’s basically perfect.
I recently received an email from a talent agent who is working with a production company specializing in reality television. This particular company, which has produced a number of popular (and apparently award-winning) reality shows, is looking to turn their lens on families. They reached out to me as a potential subject.
The talent agent started his email by complimenting my writing and said he enjoys following my work. Flattery will get you
nowhere everywhere. He suggested that this opportunity might be a way to share my “expertise and insight” with a larger audience. He provided a few more details, then invited my to set up a time to have an on camera interview with them to see if it was a good fit.
And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t the slightest bit tempted. Keep reading »
UK TV and cruising for dates at the airport? Sounds like a perfect match to me. On Valentine’s Day, Air New Zealand hosted a live airport dating show at London Heathrow Airport. In “Blind Gate,” singles competed to win a romantic weekend in Los Angeles via Air New Zealand’s Cuddle Class Economy Skycouch seats. I realize that this was a one-time publicity stunt to promote Air New Zealand’s London to LA flight, but I think they stumbled onto dating show gold. This needs to be a regular series. Keep reading »
Med students from Howard University College Of Medicine started a Change.org petition to urge Bravo to cancel a new reality show, “Married To Medicine.” The reality TV program set to debut on March 24 portrays the ups-and-downs for black women doctors and doctors’ wives/socialites in Atlanta. Keep reading »
They’re “not here to make friends,” and they’ll probably throw you “under the bus,” but these ancillary characters on some of our favorite reality TV shows serve a vital purpose: They are the pot-stirrers and trouble makers, the assholes that help incite fights and cause trouble. And like a moth to a reality TV flame, they’ll keep coming back, attracted to the warm glow of the production lights. On their own, these people probably aren’t interesting enough to watch (except Allison DuBois — I would watch her until forever) — but their brief time in the spotlight captured our attention, and in some cases made us question humanity.
Below, we’ve chronicled all the most awesomely trainwreck-y, fun to watch minor reality TV show villains. Let us know who we forgot in the comments!
Keep reading »