They’re “not here to make friends,” and they’ll probably throw you “under the bus,” but these ancillary characters on some of our favorite reality TV shows serve a vital purpose: They are the pot-stirrers and trouble makers, the assholes that help incite fights and cause trouble. And like a moth to a reality TV flame, they’ll keep coming back, attracted to the warm glow of the production lights. On their own, these people probably aren’t interesting enough to watch (except Allison DuBois — I would watch her until forever) — but their brief time in the spotlight captured our attention, and in some cases made us question humanity.
Below, we’ve chronicled all the most awesomely trainwreck-y, fun to watch minor reality TV show villains. Let us know who we forgot in the comments!
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There must be a subgenre of porn for this right? On last night’s episode of “Kourtney & Kim Take Miami,” Kim took to the interwebs to find a remedy for her psoriasis. (Does Kanye know she has psoriasis? I thought he insisted on her being flawless?) Turns out, applying breast milk to the skin is a popular home remedy. So obviously, still-nursing sister Kourtney whipped her tit out and super-soaked away.
Has there ever been a more perfectly blonde and tan example of why you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover? I admit, I came into this season of “The Bachelor” knowing little about Sean Lowe, but was pretty dismissive of him based on the fact that he’s such an Aryan Ken Doll. I assumed he must be shallow and vaguely dumb and just looking for a woman he could keep barefoot and pregnant at home. I am quickly starting to realize, however, that I was very wrong about him. Sean may just be the deepest, most authentic “Bachelor” in the show’s history. Let the recapping commence! Keep reading »
Attempting to wrest their laurels on the “Girls” juggernaut, a bunch of reality TV producers have come up with the hideous/genius idea of casting a “real-life” version of the hit HBO show. Reads the producer’s Craigslist pitch:
Ever feel like life in the big frantic city is just too much? Are you a twenty-something young woman seeking fame, fortune, love or even a hookup with potential? How do you get from here to there when you can’t even get a seat on the L train! [Ed Note: Nobody gets a seat on the L train because people on the L train don't know how to ride the subway] Come to a casting call with our Emmy-winning production company and tell us your dreams and woes, your highs and lows, your tales of *** in the city and the outrageous opportunities that have come your way. Is your circle of friends bound together by not just the parties, fights, and brunches but frequent bouts of commiserating over your struggles? It isn’t easy taking the road less travelled [sic], but making it as a writer, designer, entrepreneur, actress/model or glorified dog walker never is! Keep reading »
Dare I say it? I’m actually starting to seriously like and actually crush on Bachelor Bronze and it’s not just because if I close my eyes he sounds like Channing Tatum! I honestly think Sean may be, as Chris Harrison would say, the most sincere “Bachelor” in the history of the show, but also, gulp, the most openminded. I’m serious! He may be the most Aryan-looking “Bachelor” of all time, but it certainly seems like he’s not necessarily looking for the same in his eventual bride. This is by far the most diverse cast of bachelorettes ever — the women still on the show in episode two include three Black women, an Asian woman and a Persian woman — and while producers may have been more inclined to cast that way after receiving so much flack for the whiteness of previous casts, these women seem to reflect the variety of women Sean is genuinely attracted to. But more on that in a bit. Let’s get to recapping… Keep reading »
Reality TV is notorious for exploiting people’s prejudices. Whether that be cultural stereotypes about people of color, teenagers, people who live in certain parts of the countries or women – reality TV loves to sink to the lowest of the lows. Unfortunately, watching them is just about everyone’s guilty pleasure (including my own). The more ridiculous the better usually and if the people are old enough and cognizant enough to recognize what’s happening then I guess it can’t be so bad. This year is bring us a slew of terribly-terrific reality TV. From “Fat Girl Revenge,” a show about formerly large women seeking vengeance on their haters, to “All My Baby’s Mamas,” a show about Shawty Lo and the 10 women who birthed his 11 children. 2013, guys, it’s going to be a good year. Read more…
We’re suckers for a reality show, as you may have noticed, and it doesn’t take much convincing to get us to clear space in our DVR schedule for a new one. This time around, we’ve saved a coveted spot for Spike’s “The Joe Schmo Show,” about an unsuspecting regular dude who’s been put in a house with a bunch of actors and comedians (playing typical reality TV archetypes) who are pretending to be his competition for a coveted prize (this time it’s $100K and a job as a bounty hunter). Really, viewers are watching to see whether Joe figures out that he’s the only one not following a script.
To prepare you for the strange and unpredictable world of the televised and totally scripted bounty hunter competition — we’re here to break down the cast. Keep reading »
It’s a new year. You know what that means — it’s time for another season of everyone’s favorite sadly embarrassing dating show, “The Bachelor”! I took a wee bit of a hiatus from “Bach”-snarking last season, because I literally could not muster up one single solitary fuck about “Bachelorette” Emily. So boring, and from what I understand, so was her season. I must admit, I was sort of tempted to keep up my “Bachelor” break this season when I learned the new leading man would be one of Emily’s rejects, Sean Lowe. With his bleaches blonde hair and orange-y tan, he’s practically her twin. But then I remembered that “The Bachelor” is never about the man in question, but the crazy women fighting for his heart. Also, I never have plans on Monday, so what else was I going to do with my time? So, let’s get to know Bachelor Bronze (my nickname for him, henceforth, because he is SO tan and he came in third in Emily’s season) and his bevy of desperately single broads… Keep reading »
Over the holiday weekend, “Real Housewives of New York” star Bethenny Frankel announced that she and husband Jason Hoppy were separating. Frankel met Hoppy while filming “Housewives,” and the pair were treated to two Bravo spinoffs about their relationship: “Bethenny Getting Married” and “Bethenny Ever After,” which chronicled their wedding and marriage and the birth of their daughter Bryn.
“I am heartbroken. I am sad. We will work through this as a family,” Frankel tweeted on Sunday.
But should she have seen it coming? After all, couples that get married on TV don’t have the best track record. In fact, we’ve taken a tally, and it seems that couples that undergo televised weddings have a rather lousy rate of success. We’ve gone through and looked at some of the couples who made it down the aisle with the world watching. Take a look and tell us whether a televised wedding would work for you.
Admit it: “America’s Next Top Model” has gotten stale over the last five zillion “cycles.” As much as we love Tyra there’s only so much of her histrionics and ridiculous, over-the-top photoshoots (Be a bear! Pose with a tarantula! In the snow!) we can take. And the Oxygen network is banking on that, by introducing its new modeling reality show, “The Face.” Hosted by “ANTM” castoff Nigel Barker, and featuring Tyra Banks’ evil cousin Naomi Campbell, plus modelstars Karolina Kurkova, and Coco Rocha, “The Face” has 24 contestants competing to become the new face of Ulta beauty. Keep reading »