Shannon June, mother of our newest “Toddlers & Tiaras” muse Alana, is speaking out about feeding her daughter “go-go juice” in last week’s episode. Was I the only one who snickered at the term? Last I heard, “go-go juice” was slang for, well, female juices shall we say. We know that’s not what she was drinking. “The go-go juice is just Mountain Dew and just a hint of Red Bull,” Alana’s mother explained. Sounds healthy! All judgey-ness aside, there are lots of terms on “Toddlers & Tiaras” that mean very different things in the real world. Click through to find out what the hell those pageant folks are talking about. [Inside Edition]
Alana? Alana who? MaKenzie is coming back to “Toddlers & Tiaras,” Honey Boo Boo Child! Yay! Her Ni-Ni is gone, but she has a new flipper, a kitten named Prince and so many fans that her name is Tweeting on Twitter. Her ego must be the size of Alana’s mother’s double chin. I look forward to watching more of Mak being herself tonight, i.e. getting jacked on Pixie Sticks and dancing, throwing temper tantrums and verbally abusing her mother. What more could I dream of? Oh, Mack and Alana in one episode.
Miracles happen when you mate extreme couponing with children’s beauty pageants. From the inner sanctum of a paper towel hoard in McIntyre, Georgia, emerges our latest “Toddlers & Tiaras” muse, Alana. Part drag queen, part Southern diva, this child knows what the pageants are all about — the Benjamins, Honey Boo Boo Child! She’ll holler for a dollar or break out her tummy if need be — whatever it takes to win that crown. But really it’s her special drink — her Go-Go Juice — that that’s gonna help her win. God bless Red Bull. If only we could get Alana and Makenzie together in one episode. I’d die of spirit animal happiness.
Whoa boy, there’s no end to the “Jersey Shore” scourge. The show’s producers have now cast their sights on a new breed of hyper-constructed reality: nerd reality. Their new show, “Fandom Rising” (let’s hope this is the working title), is casting for “eight strangers for a mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new lifestyles and relationships, to boldly go where no fanboy or fangirl has gone before.” Keep reading »
The Parents Television Council (PTC) isn’t set to release the report, “Reality of MTV: Gender Portrayals on Reality TV,” until this Wednesday, but Fox News got a sneak peak in advance and has summarized the findings. (Jezebel accurately commented that their report provides an early view of the study through “an additional layer of puritanical hysteria.”) The PTC studied one season each of the top four prime-time shows viewed by 12- to 17-year-old adolescents – ”Jersey Shore,” “16 and Pregnant,” “Teen Mom 2,” and “The Real World” – and collected a bounty of not so surprising statistics. Most prominently, it the report found that the majority of crude or negative remarks came from female cast members. Only 24 percent of the comments made by females in regards to themselves were positive, and women spoke about sex more frequently and graphically than males. Keep reading »