After J. broke up with me my senior year in high school, I was pissed. Livid. Just a few weeks earlier, he told me he loved me, we went to prom and all was glorious in the world. What the heck? After a few weeks of having an intimate rebound relationship with a box of Kleenex, I became dead-set on making his life as unpleasant as he had made mine.
In order to exact my revenge, my best friend and I went to the mall where the kids who went to his high school always hung out. We approached every high-school aged girl we could find, asked if she knew J., and then told her to stay away from him and his terrible case of back-ne. Mature? Hell no. Satisfying? Undeniably.
Though I think my plan was rather brilliant, I probably would have received some nice inspiration had Alison Grambs’ book “The Smart Girl’s Guide To Getting Even” been around in 1994. In it, she offers all sorts of perfectly legal yet wholly satisfying ways to get back at the Js — i.e. the complete and total jerks — of the world. After the jump, find a sampling of her I-will-not-go-down-quietly strategies. Keep reading »
Without question, Say Anything, Sixteen Candles and Pretty in Pink were my earliest primers on love, dating and relationships. With the help of these flicks, I learned that hot chicks could be both wicked smart and nice (Say Anything), that all blonde, popular girls were bitches who eventually got their comeuppance when they were dumped/passed over by the hot guy for the interesting, quirky girl (Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink) and, of course, that slightly loner-ish dudes (Say Anything’s God-like Lloyd Dobler) made way better boyfriends than meathead football studs (with the exception of Sixteen Candles’ Jake Ryan, however).
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Curtis Sittenfeld’s Prep is one of my favorite books that is kinda, sorta in the “chick lit” genre. But that’s only one of the reasons why I am so on-the-edge-of-my-damn seat over her upcoming novel American Wife (due out in September) — the book is being so closely guarded by Random House that only a few manuscripts have been released to members of the media. Why all the secrecy? American Wife is said to be a thinly-veiled piece of “speculative fiction” about First Lady Laura Bush and is filled with lesbianism, a car accident (nothing fiction about that!), abortions, and lots and lots of humping. Radar got a hold of one of the manuscripts — describing it as “the story of Alice Blackwell, a quiet librarian whose husband Charlie becomes the bumbling president of the United States” — and ran some of the racier bits on its website…a few of the sexier quotes, after the jump… Keep reading »
During my junior high/early high school years, I consumed young adult series like my life depended on it. Maybe in a way, it did. I read obsessively about my favorite characters and their packed weekend social schedules of dances, pool parties, tropical vacations, exciting dates, beach parties….trouble was that I was spending my weekend nights reading about these events. The conundrum is that the girls reading these books were the bookish, indoor type — not the ones out and living this life.
My books were my only clues to how to meet and talk to boys. In my endless pawing over my glossy-covered series, my impressionable mind sensed some distinct themes. Keep reading »
One of the things you learn very quickly in a relationship is that people have really annoying habits. This becomes especially apparent when you move in with someone and suddenly their little eccentricities become part of your everyday life, from the way they leave empty paper coffee cups on the table for weeks on end, to their belief that the perfect place for that wet towel is bunched up on the bed and not on the hook in the bathroom. You also realize that changing these aspects of their personality is a task that is much easier said than done. Before anyone jumps all over me with the whole “you don’t want to change someone you love”, let me call B.S. When confronted with a bathroom sink filled with your love’s tiny black beard hairs, yes you do. You don’t love them any less because of those annoying habits, but you might love ‘em a tiny bit more without them. It was with that in mind that I sat down to read Amy Sutherland’s What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage: Lessons for People from Animals and Their Trainers. And as most Hallmark story endings go, in the end, I ended up training myself. The three tricks that worked the best, after the jump. Keep reading »
Getting dumped sucks, but thereâ€™s always a lesson to be learned from a failed relationship, right? Ben Karlin and the other men who contributed to Things Iâ€™ve Learned From Women Whoâ€™ve Dumped Me seem to think so. We had real-life couple (who have broken up and gotten back together) read and discuss the book of essays.
Yasmin: I donâ€™t know what to make of this book. Some of the essays had me cracking up, and others left me thinking, â€œWhereâ€™s the punch line?â€
Harley: I actually thought it was a great idea to take a bunch of writers and comedians and have them share their stories about getting screwed over by girls. I found myself thinking back on similar events. No matter who you are, you can relate, you know? Keep reading »