I’m on the advice panel for I Believe You, It’s Not Your Fault, a blog where adult victims of sexual assault share their stories in the hope of helping younger girls. I do believe people, automatically, when they tell me they’ve been raped. Why wouldn’t I? When I give advice, I try to focus on what the victims can do to validate themselves, to get some stability back in their lives, to show their bodies respect, to get some perspective on the psychological effects of trauma — just like everyone else on the panel does. We don’t jump to “BURN YOUR RAPIST TO THE GROUND! DESTROY HIM!” The fate of the accused is not the point of the blog; it’s the fate of the victim that matters to us. Keep reading »
Online dating can be a wonderful thing, and plenty of couples — including our own Jessica and her husband — have met and found love through sites like OK Cupid, Tinder and Match. But it can also be a complete and utter shitshow, especially for women. While there are plenty of cool single dudes to meet online, there are also loads of entitled, misogynistic assholes littering your inbox and refusing to be ignored. Our friends over at Whisper asked their female users to submit the worst messages they’ve received from men they refused to chat with and the results were sadly and unsurprisingly vile. Let’s hope these dudes spend the rest of their lives alone. Keep reading »
Wealthy White Guys Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity demonstrated their ongoing obliviousness this week by completely ignoring everything that matters about issues like rape and child abuse, throwing out incredibly dumb red herrings on the issues instead.
First, Limbaugh asserted on his radio show that “no means yes if you know how to spot it” and lamented that “that used to be part of the advice boys were given” — that “no” means “yes,” that is. Oh, woe is me, Rush Limbaugh. It’s so terrible that boys aren’t being told to make women’s minds up for them as far as consent goes (or in other words, you know, rape women). This was in response to Ohio State’s enthusiastic consent policy, which requires explicit verbal consent at every step of a sexual interaction, a policy which, by the way, benefits all students at Ohio State, not just female students. Lord knows, the really important thing about America’s campus rape epidemic isn’t, you know, the fact that there are so many victims of rape, or the fact that campus rape investigations get fucked up so often — partially because universities’ policies on rape are vague, a problem which this policy seeks to solve — but the potential loss of the “art of seduction.” GAG. Keep reading »
Columbia University senior Emma Sulkowicz made headlines earlier this month by carrying her twin-size mattress with her everywhere, in order to draw attention to the fact that the student who raped her has not been expelled. Keep reading »
Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has been accused of sexually assaulting a former stripper named Jana Weckerly, 27, during a 2009 incident in Texas. In a lawsuit, which can be read here, Wecklery said she and another woman met Jones at a hotel in North Texas sometime during May or June 2009. She accused the 71-year-old Cowboys’ owner of forcing his fingers into her vagina, forcibly kissing her on the neck and shoulders, forcing her to rub his penis, forcibly grabbing or rubbing her butt, and making her watch while he got a blowjob from the other woman. All of this occurred without her consent, she alleges. Keep reading »