In college, I was part of a tight-knit group of young women. There were five of us in the core group. Two were roommates and their room, 513, was our central meeting place. There was a lack of formality when it came to hanging out. It was totally normal to walk right in if the door to 513 wasn’t locked and downright mandatory to stop by if it was propped open. We were honest and comfortable with each other.
Or so I thought.
Rape doesn’t happen the way you think it will. I wasn’t drunk or drugged at a party, no one jumped me after dark while walking home alone; the attack didn’t even start as being physically rough. It was slow, insistent, and shocking. My rape was terrifying, uncomfortable, and incredibly confusing. The physical pain was as bad as the betrayal; the psychological injury of living in the same building as the rapist almost ended me entirely, but I still had my friends, I reasoned, so I was able to keep going with my collegiate career. Keep reading »
I feel for BuzzFeed writer Jessica Testa. While our blog may not get the massive traffic that BF does, I’ve still experienced brief bouts of hundreds of people being furious with me because I wrote something that genuinely held no ill-intent. I think that no matter how obvious it is that the Internet is full of millions of humans who disagree with you–who can and will let you know that in a heartbeat–it is still stressful when your words become a source of both brief and lengthy critical thought. Read more on The Gloss…
Trigger warning: this video and the text below contain accounts of rape and sexual assault.
On last night’s “Nightline,” three of Bikram Choudhury’s five sexual assault accusers bravely came forward to talk about the horrors they suffered at the hands of the yoga guru. Honestly, I had read about the charges, but the first-hand accounts were far more disturbing than I imagined. As a newly minted yoga teacher and a long-time yogi, these women’s stories rocked me to the core. To think of a practice that has been such a positive influence in my life being perverted by the most disgusting form of victimization is gut wrenching. As Sarah Baughn, the first woman to come forth in the media with her charges, says, “My daughter one day looked at me and said…’Mommy I want to be just like you. I want to be a yoga teacher.’ And all I could think was, ‘You can’t do that. You’ll get raped.’” Keep reading »