In college, I was part of a tight-knit group of young women. There were five of us in the core group. Two were roommates and their room, 513, was our central meeting place. There was a lack of formality when it came to hanging out. It was totally normal to walk right in if the […]
At the exact time that I’m writing this (8:30 a.m. ), on this exact day two years ago, I was reporting my rape. It had happened after midnight on March 10, 2013. I’ve been trying not to write about it too much, anymore, because I feel like I’ve said everything I need to say about […]
“There is no justice for drunk women,” begins Andrea Peysner’s New York Post column, “It’s Open Season For Predators In Uniform,” about the acquittal of a cop accused of raping a drunk woman in her apartment. “A Manhattan jury yesterday had to decide whom it hated more: a rotten police officer who admitted he lied, […]
I woke up one morning last week to my Twitter in an uproar. That’s reasonably common in my world, as many of the people I follow are marginalized and there’s a lot to be angry about. Turns out that the FBI has seized MyRedbook, a California site where masseuses and escorts could advertise for clients […]
Today I’m going to fulfill a promise I made quite a while ago, and talk about what a consent culture would look like. A consent culture is one in which the prevailing narrative of sex — in fact, of human interaction — is centered around mutual consent. It is a culture with an abhorrence of forcing anyone […]
A study has found that in situations of sexual aggression at bars, most attackers are very clear on the fact that their victims are not consenting. The results made obvious what so many already know: despite claims of misperception, in most cases it is very clear that the attacker’s advances are unwanted by victims. Many attackers purposely seek out […]
Do you buy his excuse? Most people who have an identical twin as a partner can tell the two the two apart. (Heck, I became friends with two identical twins when I was a kid and could even tell them apart on the phone.) While identical twins are… identical, they can have unique mannerisms or […]
Recently, I’ve been talking to people in the BDSM community about the sexual assault allegations made against porn star James Deen by a dozen women late last year, and noticed that a number of the men I spoke with had a look of nervousness flash across their face when the subject came up. So, I started […]
This is my secret thing. And I don’t all the way want forever to know about it because forever is what reads the internet. But who knows – maybe it’ll connect with a human and maybe that’s reason enough. When I feel something awful, I feel it physically. I guess everyone does, right? You feel […]
