Rand Paul Drops Out Of GOP Race, Pledges To Continue Igniting “Brush Fires Of Liberty”
Rand Paul has suspended his campaign for the presidency today, saying in a statement that he’s pleased that so many people embraced his message of limited government (except in the…
Who Will Win The GOP Butt Caucus?
We all know the GOP candidates are asses, but who’s the best ass of them all?
Great Moments In Bullshit And General Awfulness From The Seventh GOP Debate
Bullshit abounds in the first Trumpless debate.
Rand Paul Gets Booted From Prime Time Debate, Decides To Be Petulant About It
Rand Paul and Carly Fiorina have both been bumped from Thursday’s prime-time Fox Business-hosted presidential campaign debate, and instead of acting, you know, presidential about it, Paul has…
Rand Paul: If You Give Kids Free College Tuition, They’ll Want Free Shoes And Makeup
Rand Paul is not very fond of Bernie Sanders’ plan to provide free tuition to state colleges. Which is not surprising at all really, given that he’s a Republican who…
Rand Paul Suggests LGBT People Just Stay In The Closet If They Don’t Want Workplace Discrimination
Rand Paul is an idiot who needs to stop sharing his thoughts out loud.
The 12 Most Galling Moments Of The CNN GOP Debate
Oh man. If I hadn’t known better, I literally would have thought that last night’s GOP debate was an improv exercise in which each candidate was required to say something more…
Let’s Get Ready To Play GOP Debate BINGO!
Hey-o!!! Tonight, the Republican primary circus is rolling into Cleveland, and 10 of the party’s most promising contenders will tumble out of the clown car and onto the stage for…
Senate Democrats Block Bill To Defund Planned Parenthood
Hillary Ahead Of Voldemort In Presidential Popularity Polls, Behind Darth Vader And Terminator
So which presidential candidate is currently leading in the polls, you wonder? That would be “the Terminator” — presumably the T-1000 model — followed closely by Darth Vader.
The Trials And Tribulations Of Hemp In America
Today is Earth Day and Monday was 4/20, which means we’re smack in the middle of a confluence of fascinating issues; specifically, issues surrounding hemp, America’s needlessly illegal and potentially…
Rand Paul’s New Douchebro BFF Once Threw A Porn Star Off A Roof
You know who’s just the worst? Rand Paul. Rand Paul is terrible. Also, Rand Paul’s friends are terrible, because terrible people often hang out together, ostensibly because no one else…