“She hurt my feelings. I don’t think what I look like is relevant. And by the way, this whole ‘unhealthy’ thing has me baffled. It’s really confusing to me why anyone would have an opinion about that … It’s really disappointing. I can’t laugh—I’m an emotional person. … It’s a sensitive subject because it’s not something that should be talked about, because there is nothing wrong with me. I’m healthy and I shouldn’t even have to say any of that. What makes me unhealthy and puts me in danger is that kind of scrutiny itself. It’s the same as being bullied at school, and just because you’re getting older, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t hurt by it. You could make anybody cry if you told them that they’re ugly.”
Fiona Apple spoke to Pitchfork about an incident last week, in which she was heckled about her health by a fan at a concert. Midway through her set in Portland, a concertgoer shouted at the notoriously shy Apple, ”Fiona! Get healthy! We want to see you in 10 years!” Apple apparently broke down on stage and yelled back at the heckler, “I am healthy! Who the fuck do you think you are? I want you to get the fuck out of here. I want the house lights on so I watch you leave!” The person was indeed ejected from the venue, and got in one last remark before exiting, shouting, ”I saw you 20 years ago and you were beautiful!” Keep reading »
“I have to say that I’m disturbed and dismayed by the recent spate of overtly sexualized performances and videos. You know the ones I’m talking about. It seems obvious that certain record companies are peddling highly styled pornography with musical accompaniment. As if the tidal wave of sexualized imagery wasn’t already bombarding impressionable young girls enough. I believe in freedom of speech and expression, but the market forces don’t give a toss about the notion of boundaries. As long as there’s booty to make money out of, it will be bought and sold. It’s depressing to see how these performers are so eager to push this new level of low.Their assumption seems to be that misogyny — utilized and displayed through oneself is totally fine, as long as you are the one creating it. As if it’s all justified by how many millions of dollars and YouTube hits you get from behaving like pimp and prostitute at the same time. It’s a glorified and monetized form of self harm.”
’80s British singer Annie Lennox from The Eurythmics wrote a post on Facebook this Saturday clearly directed at Miley Cyrus (“You know the ones I’m talking about”). A skeptical Lennox hopped aboard the same bandwagon as Sinead O’Connor, who last week alleged that Cyrus is being exploited by the record industry and needs to have better handlers. Cyrus was rudely dismissive of O’Connor’s open letter last week, comparing the singer who has struggled with mental illness to Amanda Bynes.
It was classy of Lennox to write these comments without calling out the twerking singer directly — but nevertheless, she found herself adding more commentary on Sunday:
Keep reading »
“To be a female narcissist is an act of political defiance comparable to not being humble as a person of color. It’s about preserving your dignity in a world where you’re constantly told you aren’t shit and are expected to act accordingly.”
Confused on how to feel after viewing Rihanna’s newest and, quite frankly, amazing video earlier this week? This quote from Ayesha A. Siddiqi, writer at The New Inquiry, in conversation with Sarah Nicole Prickett and Susan Nicole Shepherd about just what to make of RiRi’s latest offering is a very strong argument for Rihanna doing her thing for women, not for dudes. [The Hairpin]
“The secret to body after baby is flushing down the toilet every notion of body after baby. Honestly! … I made a commitment to not allow my narrative for the year after having a baby to be about my weight. And I think that freed me up and it made me less concerned with all the pressures that revolve around body image. I was like, ‘I have a baby. Do you know how awesome that is? It’s so radical! Why on earth am I going to be so concerned with my pants size?’”
Bless Kristen Bell for her refreshing outlook on that whole “body after baby” obsession that our culture demands of new moms, especially new celebrity moms. She’s the coolest and daughter Lincoln clearly has a great role model to look up to as she grows up. [E! Online]
“I always get asked, ‘Where do you get your confidence?’ I think people are well meaning, but it’s pretty insulting. Because what it means to me is, ‘You, Mindy Kaling, have all the trappings of a very marginalized person. You’re not skinny, you’re not white, you’re a woman. Why on earth would you feel like you’re worth anything?’”
–Mindy Kaling brilliantly deconstructs the media’s obsession with her confidence in the latest issue of Parade magazine. “There are little Indian girls out there who look up to me,” she adds, “and I never want to belittle the honor of being an inspiration to them. But while I’m talking about why I’m so different, white male show runners get to talk about their art.” PREACH. [Marie Claire]
“I was young. It was just the kind of shit that actresses have to go through. Somebody told me I was fat, that I was going to get fired if I didn’t lose a certain amount of weight. They brought in pictures of me where I was basically naked, and told me to use them as motivation for my diet.
[Someone brought it up recently.] They thought that because of the way my career had gone, it wouldn’t still hurt me. That somehow, after I won an Oscar, I’m above it all. ‘You really still care about that?’ Yeah. I was a little girl. I was hurt. It doesn’t matter what accolades you get. I know it’ll never happen to me again. If anybody even tries to whisper the word ‘diet’, I’m like, ‘You can go fuck yourself.’”
Jennifer Lawrence may be an Oscar-winning actress (for 2012′s “Silver Linings Playbook”), but she’s not immune to the pressures placed on actresses of all ages to conform to narrow body and beauty standards. I love how upfront she is (in an interview for the November issue of Harper’s Bazaar UK) about how much the comments about her weight as a child hurt and stayed with her, and I admire her for refusing to allow that kind of talk in her life again. [Us Weekly]
“Well, get this. This girl from Jersey City has a knife in her boot. I pulled it out and said, ‘I’ll cut your dick off.’ You know what he did? He laughed at me.”
“Lost”‘s Michelle Rodriguez opened up to Entertainment Weekly about when she was 22 and a producer “pinned her against the wall and grabbed her between the legs.” Sadly, this kind of sexual abuse — particularly in the form of ‘casting couch’ perviness — is all too common for women in Hollywood. But after pulling a knife on him, that producer never bothered Rodriguez again.
Rodriguez also revealed for the first time publicly that she’s bisexual: Keep reading »
“I want every version of a woman and a man to be possible. I want women and men to be able to be full-time parents or full-time working people or any combination of the two. I want both to be able to do whatever they want sexually without being called names. I want them to be allowed to be weak and strong and happy and sad – human, basically. The fallacy in Hollywood is that if you’re making a ‘feminist’ story, the woman kicks ass and wins. That’s not feminist, that’s macho. A movie about a weak, vulnerable woman can be feminist if it shows a real person that we can empathize with.”
I love Natalie Portman: she’s intelligent, passionate, gorgeous, and she’s been in some incredible movies (and some real stinkers, to be fair). Here’s her definition of feminism, as told to her “Thor” costar Tom Hiddleston in Elle UK, and I can really get behind it! So many people erroneously believe that feminism is about forcing women to behave “like men,” stripping away all femininity and pooh-poohing “female” things. They don’t seem to understand that attitude is just another way of privileging the masculine and male. A story doesn’t have to be told in a traditionally “male” way for it to be feminist and a woman doesn’t have to become just like a man in order to succeed. Feminism is about having the opportunities for everyone to be who we want, rather than letting gender roles restrict us. [Elle UK]
“That is so awful. That word is like so disgusting to me. That’s horrible. It’s just about the playfulness, about teasing, it’s about ‘hmmm, no, I don’t want it tonight’ but he’s going to take it. It’s about being aggressive and trying new things in the bedroom. It’s not about, ‘hey, I have a headache, honey, and I’m not in the mood tonight,’ and your husband’s going to take it from you. I mean, come on. … My book is about mutual respect with your partner, for one another. It’s about honesty, it’s about loyalty, it’s about making your partner first in your life. Where that word comes into play, to me, is awful and disgusting.”
– Melissa Gorga, star of “The Real Housewives Of New Jersey” and author of the new marriage advice book Love Italian Style, is not loving that a passage in her book from husband Joe Gorga has been described by critics — including yours truly — as advocating marital rape. Alas, Melissa may not like that that’s how people are interpreting her husband’s advice (“If your wife says ‘no,’ turn her around, and rip her clothes off”), but the fact of the matter is what Joe described — and what Melissa reinforces in this very quote – is the very definition of rape. When a woman says “no” to having sex and a man “takes” it — it being, you know, HER BODY — anyway, that is rape. Even when it’s a husband and wife. If Joe is actually advocating for consensual dom/sub play, he worded it very badly and an editor certainly should have raised a red flag. But my hunch is that Melissa and Joe have seriously fucked up issues that they should not be selling to the masses as secrets to a happy marriage. [Dlisted]
“For me, some old guy molested me. In the experience of life, you understand that this is really not an uncommon thing and lots of more awful things happen to people. Other people get through it. But the trauma of the police, the publicity, the media, to have everyone say I was lying and to have my whole family involved, I felt a little responsible. We couldn’t leave the house, my phone wouldn’t stop ringing. That 10 minutes of my life with him, I didn’t get to look back on it that much because I had worse things to deal with every day.”
That’s Samantha Gailey Geimer on BitchMagazine.com discussing her new book, The Girl: A Life In The Shadow Of Roman Polanski. The memoir, which was just published, described the incident when she was 13 during which the world-famous director gave her alcohol and quaaludes and then raped her vaginally, anally and orally. In this interview, Geimer explains how the actual rape itself was relatively small compared to the repeated harassment of her and her family by the media — she was accused of being a liar; her mother was accused of trying to shake down Polanski for money — and the pressure of performing the role of the traumatized victim to the media. Keep reading »