The night before Valentine’s Day this year, I received a frantic text message from my friend Sara, who I knew was on a mission to pick up something frilly to wear for her new boyfriend. “OMG, I’m in the store and I don’t even know what the eff a garter belt is. Help…” I flipped open my cell phone and left her a message that was one for the books: “Sara,” I said sternly, “if you don’t know what a garter belt is, he sure as hell won’t know how to take one off. Look for a babydoll top and cute underwear. Step AWAY from the garter belts.”

Sixty-three percent of Americans have used a smart phone in the bathroom, according to a report from Solutions Research Group. We’re wondering how many of the emails and texts in our inbox were written on the john. [MSNBC]

The Pussycat Dolls have been fined $3,400 for flashing body parts during a concert in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, last summer. “I believe the way the Pussycat Dolls behaved on stage amounted to gross indecency,” said Malaysia’s culture minister Rais Yatim. No, their songs amount to gross indecency. [Monsters and Critics]

In the Indian village of Cherukulapadu, a supposedly sex-crazed monkey is attacking women, and it reportedly caused one elderly women to die from shock after it jumped on her. [Telegraph, U.K.]

There are a number of talentless singer-wannabes who put their tracks on their MySpace pages but will never get a record deal. For the most part, that’s a good thing. However, there are many MySpace musicians who are more talented than “real” musicians—and we’re not just talking about Lily Allen and friends. Ashley Alexandra Dupre, the escort known as “Kristen” who was involved with former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer, is herself an aspiring singer. Due to the attention she’s gotten over the last few days, her songs “What We Want” and “Move Ya Body” are number one and two on online music site AmieStreet.com. They’re not groundbreaking, and some of the lyrics are questionable, but Ashley’s songs aren’t terrible. With the right lyricist and producer, she could totally have a hit. In fact, we think she’s already better than some female artists out there. See which songs “What We Want” trumps after the jump…