Well, I suppose the logical conclusion is that the sex was good. So damn good that a Ukranian 41-year-old man and his thirtysomething girlfriend, who were having sex on the train tracks in city of Zaporizhia, failed to notice that a train was approaching and were run over when they didn’t get off the tracks in time. The woman was killed instantly but the man survived, though he lost both legs and will likely be charged with breaking the country’s laws over, like, misusing railroad transit. Authorities say the couple decided to play their own naughty version of choo-choo train in that spot because they “wanted to experience an extreme sensation near the railroad tracks.” Yes, I would say being hit by a train while fucking would result in extreme sensations. Ugh. What a tragically ridiculous tale of the dangers of public sex. [Gawker] [Photo of couple hugging on the train tracks via Shutterstock]
As our friends over at HyperVocal point out, the funniest thing about this video of a couple fucking while driving is not the actual fucking. It’s the commentary being made by the people filming them. I feel like I’m listening to a couple discussing who gets to read The New York Times Book Review over breakfast. “I’ve got it, I’ve totally got it.” “I wanna get her bouncing again.” “Oh. I think they’re gone now.” Amazing. Someone pass the butter. [HyperVocal]
When Miaya Smith and Saint Ramirez Jr. got married in a small ceremony at a Nebraska park, they were excited about it. Like, really excited. Like, really excited in their pants. So they did what any blissful, horny newlywed couple would have done: they ducked behind a tree in full view of their wedding guests, a public pool, and a playground, and started humping. When three teenagers alerted a police officer to the public sexytimes (sidenote: most virtuous teenagers ever), the officer pulled his patrol car up right next to the copulating couple, but even the presence of the po-po couldn’t dampen their amour. “Miaya had her pants off and her buttocks exposed [and she] was moving in an up-and-down motion on Saint,” the officer wrote in his report. He had to order the couple to stop having sex three times to convince Miaya to dismount her new hubby, before finally arresting them and hauling them off to spend their honeymoon in jail. Say it with me now: aw, young love! [Daily Mail]
We loved Nick Stahl in the too-short HBO series Carnivale, and man, has that guy had a strange year. He was missing, then found, then missing again. And now, just Thursday evening, he was caught masturbating in a Hollywood adult video store. Cops arrested him and charged him with committing “lewd conduct,” which is a misdemeanor charge, and released him a few hours later. Stahl claims it was all a “misunderstanding.” As in, I misunderstood my dick for a writing utensil? Or, I misunderstood the difference between public and private? Ah, the world may never know.
But Nick is hardly the only celeb who’s ever been caught jerking off in public. Oh no, it’s verily an epidemic! Click through to see who else was found getting a bit too frisky in public.
Oh, Gerard Butler. Maybe Coachella isn’t the best place to go when you’re just a month out of rehab? The actor seemingly stayed sober while bouncing from party to party at the music festival, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t wild out in other ways. According to Page Six, Butler was quite the ladies’ man, even using one of the festival’s Porta Potties for a quick romp. Because nothing is hotter than a coffin-like space that smells like urine! Sexy. [Page Six]
Celebs — they’re just like us! Sometimes they can’t keep it in their pants and find themselves engaging in amorous activities in public. I’m not judging! I once gave a blow job in a bar stairwell. Here are a bunch of other celebs who have either supposedly been busted having sexual relations in public or have bragged about it.
Security personnel at a amusement park in Opoczno, Poland, ejected two tourists earlier this week after they were caught joining the “water slide-high club” at the top of one of the attractions.
Facility cameras captured the incident, allowing park attendants to meet the naughty couple with buckets of cold water at the bottom of the slide.
“The women was filmed straddling her boyfriend and starting to make love before the pair shot down the bright blue tunnel, in what must have been a breach of the water park rules,” Metro reports. Read more…
Apparently, love is in the air this holiday. Particularly in Australia, where a young couple partook in some afternoon delight in broad daylight, on a clock tower that’s one of Sydney’s landmarks above a dorm. As a crowd of hundreds of curious bystanders gathered below, they went at it. According to a witness, “The couple did seem to know they could be seen and seemed completely unfazed.” And what harm was done, besides potentially exposing youngsters to nudity? The Australian papers are begging for the couple to come forward, presumably to grant them an award for their public service of bringing people together … to laugh about sex? Presumably, they were college students, maybe still drunk from binge-drinking the night before and brimming with sin from living in such close quarters with the opposite sex? [Orange News]
I think I would only be able to handle that level of PDA if I was positive no one would ever know it was me and no children were within a two mile radius. Where’s the most public place you have had sex? Keep reading »
We snorted Frappucino out our noses reading Maxim‘s “9 Sexual Mistakes You Made In College,” because we totally boned that guy with un-ironic Power Rangers bed sheets who wore his socks while doing that deed.
Yeah, that guy was a mistake—but, by and large, we look back on our college years with zero regrets. That night with the handcuffs? The trip up our back door? The romp with our Women’s Studies TA? They’re all juicy bits to keep things entertaining when our life flashes before our eyes. Ladies of gentler stock might reflect on their higher education years with shame. But those bitches don’t remember what really happened anyway, because they needed at least three Jaeger bombs just to loosen up. After the jump, sex “mistakes” we don’t regret making in college. Keep reading »
Are you into public PDA … specifically of the horizontal polka variety? According to Don Q’s Lady Data, 12 percent of women are down with having sex in public. A risky rendezvous no doubt. Whether you are part of the 88 percent that prefers to keep your sex life in the bedroom or a member of the public freaks club, you can’t help but enjoy these naughty episodes. After the jump, some tales of sex in public places. Share yours, if you dare! Keep reading »
We told you how to have sex in public, but we didn’t tell you exactly where to go at it. Who can keep track of all the options out in the world? Apparently, Outdoor Lovemap can. If you’re looking for the ideal location to make love alfresco, this interactive map will help you find a spot that has been suggested by people who know from personal experience. How else would you have known about Alaska’s Matanuska Glacier — by asking the locals? So far, Outdoor Lovemap encompasses 20 countries, but perhaps you have a few places you’d like to add to the list. [via Flavorwire] Keep reading »