Tag Archives: psychology

Fetishes 101: All The Basics About Having A Sexual Fetish Or Paraphilia

Adult Diapers
Adult diapers is a trend for women in Japan. Read More »
Spanking Fetish
woman spanking
"Modern Love" tackles one woman's spanking fetish. Read More »
fetish

“I have a shopping fetish!”

“I have a total fetish for caramel-covered popcorn — it’s my favorite snack!”

“She watches the Kardashians’ shows because she has a weird Kim fetish. She’s wants to dress like her so badly.”

You’ve probably heard a comment like this at least once a week your entire life. These sorts of comments drive me bonkers, because those people are not really referring to fetishes.

Instead, they’re misusing the word “fetish” to describe anything they really like, instead of something that sexually turns them on. I imagine it might be the same way gay folks would feel when a straight-person says to their same-sex friend “I’m gay for you,” when really they just mean their friend is a good buddy.

This is a subject we could all stand to know more about.  Obviously I am not a psychologist or a medical expert of any kind; I’m just a woman with a spanking fetish who is researching official information on the subject on Google and including my own experiences and tips. I highly recommend visiting a sex-positive therapist, specifically a sex therapist, for a professional consult and to sort this stuff out if you or a loved one have a fetish or paraphilia.

But for a basic 101 on fetishes and paraphilia, here are some commonly asked questions and answers:

Keep reading »

Shocker: Study Finds Sex More Pleasing Than Facebook

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Relationship Post On FB
On those annoying relationship Facebook posts. Read More »
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Addicted to Facebook?
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temptation

A recent study has concluded that, believe or not, people enjoy having sex more than using Facebook! Crazy, I know.

The frightening news for our collective sex lives, though, is researchers did not always believe this to be so: a University of Chicago study was released in October suggesting that people are just as enticed to check their Facebook and Twitter accounts as they are to get it on.  Keep reading »

Study: Brains See Men As People, Women As Body Parts

Objectification
New study measures the objectification of women. Read More »
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All of The Frisky's posts about sexism. Read More »
objectification of women photo

Reducing women to boobs and bums isn’t just the modus operandi of the Spike Network, and 13-year-old boys. A new study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology says that all our brains, regardless of our gender, view men as “people” but see women cumulatively as their body parts.

Oh, how we could Gender Studies 101 the shit out of this one! Keep reading »

Sleepy & Stupid: Key Qualities Men Look For In One Night Stands

Trashy Hookups
Oh dear. What were they thinking? Read More »
One Night Stand Wisdom
Eight things we've learned about men from having one night stands. Read More »
Hookups We Regret
Don't remind us we did that. Read More »
Paris Hilton photo

Ladies, if you’ve ever wondered why you’re always heading home from the bar alone, the answer could be depressingly simple: you are too intelligent and alert. Slate.com has a really fascinating piece about an article soon to be published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior about “sexual exploitability,” or how the male of the species chooses to pursue a female of the species who seems most sexually susceptible. Or, put it in English, they wanted to find out how men figure out with whom they can score.

You should read the entire piece yourself for the full explanation, because it’s complicated and long-winded. But the bare bones version is men were studied as they responded to a bunch of qualities in potential long-term and short-term mates. And interestingly enough, pictures of women looking sleepy or intoxicated, as well as stupid or immature-seeming, were seen as the most easy lays and most attractive.  Keep reading »

Are You What You’re Wearing? Psychologist Jen Baumgartner Thinks So

Body Dysmorphic Disorder
One woman's experience battling this disorder. Read More »
Exploiting Anorexia
Tracey Gold photo
Will a new reality TV show exploit women with eating disorders? Read More »
What Are We Wearing Today?
All of The Frisky's personal style posts in one place! Read More »

Most days, I just throw on whatever’s comfortable and cute, and whatever doesn’t make me feel self-conscious or overly-critical of my new thirtysomething gut. But according to some psychologists, my clothing choices — and yours — are actually much more deep-seated and pressing. Says Liz Jones (pictured), a writer for the Daily Mail UK (I know, I know), clothing choices actually express your inner neuroses, passions and subconscious fears.

Keep reading »

Psychiatrist Retracts BS “Gay Conversion Therapy” Study

bruno photo
Being Gay Is A Choice
Cynthia Nixon photo
So says Cynthia Nixon, who has been both gay and straight. Read More »

In my favorite scene from the movie “Bruno,” Bruno (a gay fashion reporter and wannabe superstar from Austria) sat down with a Christian “gay converter” to learn how he could turn himself heterosexual. He was advised to go hunting with three straight Southern dudes, who ended up chasing him down with a gun after he showed up naked, pack of condoms in hand, to one of their tents because a “bear had eaten everything.” He then attended a swingers party to familiarize himself with hetero sex. While there, he happily demonstrated several sex positions with another man but dived out of a window trying to escape a kinky woman. When he realized that his treatment wasn’t working, he sought another “ex-gay” counselor who basically told him he may never actually like women because they are “too weak and nag too much,” but he should at least “give women a chance.” Bruno tried desperately, but after many failed attempts, he just accepted that he liked dudes and there was nothing he could do about it.

Bruno, don’t take your failure personally. Keep reading »

An Open Letter To The Guy Who Called Me “Crazy”

Dating Red Flags
guys
These red flags should send you running. Read More »
Do Not Date These Guys
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Dating A Douche?
Thirteen signs that you're dating a douche. Read More »
mean crazy bitch photo

Dear Guy Who Seemed Cool On Our First Date But Freaked When I Said I Wanted To Take Sexual Stuff Slowly And Sent Me A Barrage Of Douchey Text Messages Which Culminated In Pronouncing Me “Crazy”,

I feel as if we have gotten off on the wrong foot.  Keep reading »

Girl Talk: How Much Should I Know About My Therapist?

We’ve been seeing each other for years; short, weekly sessions that often leave me enlightened, teary-eyed, or with a skip in my step. Ours is one of the most gratifying relationships I’ve ever had, defined by an openness and comfort level that allows for complete honesty. It took a little while to get there and I was certainly guarded at first, but now? Well, I wouldn’t know where I would be without her.

She’s my therapist. She knows everything about me. But sometimes I wish I knew more about her. Keep reading »

Got Issues? Discuss Them With Your Naked Therapist

Twenty-four year old New York City shrink, Sarah White, felt there was something missing from the classical therapy tradition. And that thing was getting buck naked. According to her, talking about your problems while fully clothed encourages repression instead of open expression. That’s how she became “the naked therapist.” Sarah begins her sessions, which occur via webcam, Skype, or in person, fully clothed and by the end of the hour she is in her birthday suit. (Video is slightly NSFW.) Not surprisingly, she has lots of male clients, who, she claims, find it easier to introspect while watching her strip down to her skivies. Duh. Of course she has her male clients’ full attention while she’s naked. SHE’S NAKED! A guy will say just about anything you want him to while sitting across from an attractive woman in the buff. Keep reading »

Are You The “Distancer” Or The “Pursuer” In Your Relationship?

Recently, I was having a Big Serious Relationship Talk with a woman I really respect. I know Dr. Debra Haffner in a professional-relationship-turned-friendship way for her work as executive director of the Religious Institute, which promotes a greater understanding of sexuality issues within religion. Debra is also an ordained Unitarian Universalist minister and, as such, she works with a lot of individuals and couples on answering “the big questions” of life. I’m not an especially religious person (“faithful,” might be a better description) and I’m not one to go around calling ministers when I have problems. But when I knew I needed to talk to someone wise and thoughtful, her image came to the forefront of my mind.

I am so glad we talked. I don’t read many self-help books or psychology books. Much like WebMD always making me think I have cancer, self-help books put “ideas” in my head. But there is something Rev. Debra explained to me that I found really enlightening: the concept of a “distancer” and a “pursuer” pattern in a relationship. Keep reading »