Tag Archives: psychology

Girl Talk: How Much Should I Know About My Therapist?

Amelia McDonell-ParrySeptember 14, 2011 //

We’ve been seeing each other for years; short, weekly sessions that often leave me enlightened, teary-eyed, or with a skip in my step. Ours is one of the most gratifying relationships I’ve ever had, defined by an openness and comfort level that allows for complete honesty. It took a little while to get there and I was certainly guarded at first, but now? Well, I wouldn’t know where I would be without her.

She’s my therapist. She knows everything about me. But sometimes I wish I knew more about her. Keep reading »

Got Issues? Discuss Them With Your Naked Therapist

Ami AngelowiczMarch 4, 2011 //

Twenty-four year old New York City shrink, Sarah White, felt there was something missing from the classical therapy tradition. And that thing was getting buck naked. According to her, talking about your problems while fully clothed encourages repression instead of open expression. That’s how she became “the naked therapist.” Sarah begins her sessions, which occur via webcam, Skype, or in person, fully clothed and by the end of the hour she is in her birthday suit. (Video is slightly NSFW.) Not surprisingly, she has lots of male clients, who, she claims, find it easier to introspect while watching her strip down to her skivies. Duh. Of course she has her male clients’ full attention while she’s naked. SHE’S NAKED! A guy will say just about anything you want him to while sitting across from an attractive woman in the buff. Keep reading »

Are You The “Distancer” Or The “Pursuer” In Your Relationship?

Jessica WakemanJanuary 4, 2011 //

Recently, I was having a Big Serious Relationship Talk with a woman I really respect. I know Dr. Debra Haffner in a professional-relationship-turned-friendship way for her work as executive director of the Religious Institute, which promotes a greater understanding of sexuality issues within religion. Debra is also an ordained Unitarian Universalist minister and, as such, she works with a lot of individuals and couples on answering “the big questions” of life. I’m not an especially religious person (“faithful,” might be a better description) and I’m not one to go around calling ministers when I have problems. But when I knew I needed to talk to someone wise and thoughtful, her image came to the forefront of my mind.

I am so glad we talked. I don’t read many self-help books or psychology books. Much like WebMD always making me think I have cancer, self-help books put “ideas” in my head. But there is something Rev. Debra explained to me that I found really enlightening: the concept of a “distancer” and a “pursuer” pattern in a relationship. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Was Afraid To Curse Myself

Kimberlee AuerbachSeptember 1, 2010 //

I bounded down the stairs to show my mom my new frilly red dress.

“Oh Kimmi! You look so pretty! That is such a pretty red dress!”

I stopped mid-twirl, put my hands on my four-year-old hips, and looked at her accusingly. “You don’t like my blue dress?” I asked.

Flash-forward 30 years, and that easily hurt, overly dramatic little girl has become an easily hurt, overly dramatic woman. I’m not sure why, but I have always jumped to conclusions and distorted the truth, turning compliments into insults and finding ways to feel slighted in any kind of situation or exchange. Keep reading »

The Psychology Behind Your Irritating Co-Workers

Ami AngelowiczApril 28, 2010 //

Of course, I have the best co-workers in the world at The Frisky. But let’s just say it hasn’t always been that way at other jobs. Oh, do I have stories. As some of us may have experienced, dysfunction in the work place is rampant. How many times have you wanted to respond to a passive-aggressive email with one simple sentence: “You need therapy.” No need to take it personally that your lazy co-worker took credit for all your hard work in that big meeting or that your boss chastised you for a spelling error. It’s not your fault. They are just acting out their childhood wounds. At least that’s what leadership coach Sylvia LaFair thinks. She believes office dysfunction is deep-rooted behavior learned during childhood. Sylvia offers a new technique to identify the childhood origins of bad work behavior and defuse harmful habits. The first step to having a less dysfunctional work environment, she believes, is becoming aware of the patterns and figuring out how you are enacting them or feeding into them. After the jump, a few of the behavior types identified in Sylvia LaFair’s book, Don’t Bring It To Work, and the dynamics from whence they came. This should be a fun office game for the day: uncover your co-workers’ childhood wounds. Keep reading »

Have Bad Self-Esteem? Self Help May Not Work For You

Jessica WakemanJuly 6, 2009 //

We’ve all been there: casually strolling through the self help section of Barnes & Noble trying not to make eye contact with anybody. But maybe you can save yourself the awkwardness: a Canadian study has found that if a person’s self-esteem is already in the toilet, reciting positive self-help mantras are useless. In fact, they could actually make you feel worse!
Keep reading »

Four Strategies To Keep Those Resolutions

Wendy AtterberryJanuary 2, 2009 //

If you’re already struggling with your New Year’s resolutions on this second day of the year, you’re not alone. Need a few suggestions to stay on track? “It’s exceptionally hard to make life changes,” says Alan Deutschman, author of Change or Die. According to Deutschman, even though most people have the ability to change, they rarely do, “and our efforts are usually doomed to failure when we try to do it on our own.” After the jump, four strategies to avoid failure and increase positive results in change regimens. Keep reading »

S&M: Maybe She’s Born With It

SimchaJuly 14, 2008 //

The slang “natural born freak” is gaining some expert evidence. Like to be tied up, rode hard, and left wet…or do that to your lover? Well, some scientific theories are swirling that sadomasochism, whether you’re the dom or the sub, is innate. You’re born wanting to get it on with whips, handcuffs, paddles, gags, and leather or for those S&M vegans, pleather. While sadomasochistic sex has been portrayed in marriage manuals dating all the way back to ancient India, the roots of the desire are still being debated. In 1948, when renowned sex researcher, Alfred Kinsey, claimed nearly 50% of people like to be bitten during sex, scientists were shocked (or at least pretended to be). Ever since, the studies have been pouring in and people have been putting out, telling their deep, dark, dungeony secrets. Sure, some psychoanalysts think that S&M stems from fears of castrations or early childhood shame, but others have a new idea about the sex play. Vivienne Parry, a self-proclaimed S&M loving columnist with a science background [No relation! -- Editor], has done her homework and thinks that just like homosexuality, it’s in your genes if you like to get kinky. That it is in fact nature over nurture. Sounds like people are even more bound to bondage than they imagined! [Times] Keep reading »