We’ve all been there: casually strolling through the self help section of Barnes & Noble trying not to make eye contact with anybody. But maybe you can save yourself the awkwardness: a Canadian study has found that if a person’s self-esteem is already in the toilet, reciting positive self-help mantras are useless. In fact, they could actually make you feel worse!

If you’re already struggling with your New Year’s resolutions on this second day of the year, you’re not alone. Need a few suggestions to stay on track? “It’s exceptionally hard to make life changes,” says Alan Deutschman, author of Change or Die. According to Deutschman, even though most people have the ability to change, they rarely do, “and our efforts are usually doomed to failure when we try to do it on our own.” After the jump, four strategies to avoid failure and increase positive results in change regimens.

The slang “natural born freak” is gaining some expert evidence.  Like to be tied up, rode hard, and left wet…or do that to your lover? Well, some scientific theories are swirling that sadomasochism, whether you’re the dom or the sub, is innate. You’re born wanting to get it on with whips, handcuffs, paddles, gags, and leather or for those S&M vegans, pleather.  While sadomasochistic sex has been portrayed in marriage manuals dating all the way back to ancient India, the roots of the desire are still being debated. In 1948, when renowned sex researcher, Alfred Kinsey, claimed nearly 50% of people like to be bitten during sex, scientists were shocked (or at least pretended to be). Ever since, the studies have been pouring in and people have been putting out, telling their deep, dark, dungeony secrets. Sure, some psychoanalysts think that S&M stems from fears of castrations or early childhood shame, but others have a new idea about the sex play. Vivienne Parry, a self-proclaimed S&M loving columnist with a science background [No relation!—Editor], has done her homework and thinks that just like homosexuality, it’s in your genes if you like to get kinky. That it is in fact nature over nurture. Sounds like people are even more bound to bondage than they imagined! [Times]