Tag Archives: prince william

Up For Auction: Kate Middleton’s Sexy See-Through Dress

Buy a scandalous piece of royal history: The makeshift, see-through dress princess-to-be Kate Middleton wore at a St. Andrew’s fashion show. The student-designed dress is said to be the magical garment that shifted Prince William’s relationship with Middleton from strictly “platonic to romantic.” And it’s hard not to see why: The mesh dress shows off all of Middleton’s, um, appreciable assets. It’s expected to fetch anywhere from $16,000 to $28,000, so happy bidding! [Daily Beast] Keep reading »

Kate Middleton And Prince William Get Baked

Some things are just not necessary. An almost-lifesize cake replica of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s faces, made from 20 lbs. of marzipan and 10 lbs. of icing, for example. Important question, though: whose face do you cut up first? [The Gloss via The Windsor Knot] Keep reading »

Quickies: Black Market Invites To The Royal Wedding & Lady Gaga Loses Her Virginity

  • A British reporter was offered a black market wedding invitation to Prince William and Kate Middleton’s nuptials for $3,200, supposedly via the printer who made them. How much would you be willing to pay for a black market or scalped invite? [Gawker]
  • More information than you require: Lady Gaga lost her virginity at age 17, hated sex until two years ago. [Monsters & Critics]
  • James Franco and Lindsay Lohan will be photographed naked in an “explicit” new photo book by pervy photographer Terry Richardson. Prepare for some firecrotch, people. [Oh No They Didn't!]

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Poll: Whose Wedding Would You Rather Attend — Hugh Hefner’s Or Prince William’s?

Whose Wedding Would You Rather Attend -- Hugh Hefner's Or Prince William's?

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The Royal Wedding Barf Bag

Keep this royal wedding barf bag handy on April 29th, 2011, every time you’re reminded 1) how much this is costing the British taxpayers, and 2) you’re not the one about to become a princess. It should have been me, Prince William. It should have been me! [Creative Review UK] Keep reading »

With Royal Wedding Condoms, British Taxpayers Won’t Be The Only Ones Getting Screwed!

Royal wedding memorabilia has reached a new level of tastelessness: Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction is selling Prince William and Kate Middleton-themed condoms! Instructing randy Brits to “lie back and think of England” because “like a royal wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion,” the condoms are sold in royal purple packages with a picture of the happy couple on the front. But some folks are not amused. “This is completely tasteless and rather hurtful,” Ingrid Deward, editor of Majesty magazine, told Orange News. “Prince William has a great sense of humor but this is a step too far.” Alas, Crown Jewels warns customers their condoms are only “heirloom products” and do not actually protect you against pregnancy or STDs. Maybe you could hang them on the wall next to your royal wedding heirloom plate that says “It should have been me!” [Orange] Keep reading »

Prince William And Kate Middleton Get A Lifetime Movie, We Suggest Plot Points

Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting the Lifetime movie treatment. Yup, sometime in April before their April 29th wedding, Lifetime will air a movie about their courtship. According to Entertainment Weekly, Nico Evers-Swindell of “Law & Order” and “NCIS: Los Angeles” will play Prince William, Ben Cross of “Chariots of Fire” will play Prince Charles, and the actress to play Kate Middleton has not yet been cast. No matter, this movie is totally going to be better than “The Craigslist Killer”!

Now, we all know that in Lifetime movies, someone dies a horrific and untimely death. I’m pretty sure that’s not going to happen in this movie. (Except for the Princess Di part.) But we can imagine what kind of ridiculous Lifetime-esque plots, full of passion, intrigue, and even more passion, that they could come up with … Keep reading »

Prince William And Kate Middleton’s Wedding: Did You Get Your Save-The-Date Fax?

Planning a royal wedding is no joke—Kate Middleton has resigned from her post at her parent’s party supply company to attend to all the assorted details of her April 29th nuptials. Already, we’re a little worried that the event might be stuck in the ’80s—Kate is wearing Diana’s decade-of-decadence engagement ring, the couple’s engagement photos look eerily like the ones Princess Charles and Diana took back in the day, and the wedding is going down in Westminster Abbey which … booorrrring. And now we hear that the Buckingham Palace staff has sent out save-the-date notices to the royal families of Europe—by fax machine. I mean, couldn’t they just have sent carrier pigeons? [OMG News, People] Keep reading »

Rogaine Wants Prince William To Be A Spokesman. Mean!

Prince William is adorable. And still, it’s hard not to notice that his hair is thinning a tad on top, like his father’s before him. But it’s customary not to point things like this out—it’s the guy version of someone calling attention to your muffin top. Apparently, Rogaine doesn’t get this. They made a public statement this week about William’s hair. “We’ve been watching Prince William’s growing bald spot closely for years, and we believe Rogaine can help,” a company spokesperson said. “We’d love to send him our new Unscented Men’s Rogaine Foam. William would be the perfect spokesman for Rogaine because whether you’re a prince or an average Joe, hereditary hair loss affects one in four men.” Start holding your breath now, Rogaine. [Life & Style] Keep reading »

No Servants For Prince William And Kate Middleton For 3 Years

Prince Charles is rumored to have a servant who squirts his toothpaste on his toothbrush. But Prince William and Kate Middleton will forgo such extravagances — for three years at least. The engaged couple will do their own laundry and cook their own meals for the remainder of the prince’s RAF military service, according to a royal source. That’s how long the couple intends to live on weekends in a cottage William rented in the town of Anglesey. “Prince William is not into extravagance and, like any other young officer in the armed forces, that is how he chooses to live his life,” said the source. “He and [Kate] live without domestic staff and they wouldn’t do it any other way. That’s the life they want to lead.” Of course, William and Kate have 24-hour body guards protecting them, but otherwise they live without maids or butlers. At least these kids don’t have any full-time staff; somehow I don’t imagine Prince William scrubbing his own toilet once a week.
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