Royal wedding memorabilia has reached a new level of tastelessness: Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction is selling Prince William and Kate Middleton-themed condoms! Instructing randy Brits to “lie back and think of England” because “like a royal wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion,” the condoms are sold in royal purple packages with a picture of the happy couple on the front. But some folks are not amused. “This is completely tasteless and rather hurtful,” Ingrid Deward, editor of Majesty magazine, told Orange News. “Prince William has a great sense of humor but this is a step too far.” Alas, Crown Jewels warns customers their condoms are only “heirloom products” and do not actually protect you against pregnancy or STDs. Maybe you could hang them on the wall next to your royal wedding heirloom plate that says “It should have been me!” [Orange] Keep reading »
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Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting the Lifetime movie treatment. Yup, sometime in April before their April 29th wedding, Lifetime will air a movie about their courtship. According to Entertainment Weekly, Nico Evers-Swindell of “Law & Order” and “NCIS: Los Angeles” will play Prince William, Ben Cross of “Chariots of Fire” will play Prince Charles, and the actress to play Kate Middleton has not yet been cast. No matter, this movie is totally going to be better than “The Craigslist Killer”!
Now, we all know that in Lifetime movies, someone dies a horrific and untimely death. I’m pretty sure that’s not going to happen in this movie. (Except for the Princess Di part.) But we can imagine what kind of ridiculous Lifetime-esque plots, full of passion, intrigue, and even more passion, that they could come up with … Keep reading »
Planning a royal wedding is no joke—Kate Middleton has resigned from her post at her parent’s party supply company to attend to all the assorted details of her April 29th nuptials. Already, we’re a little worried that the event might be stuck in the ’80s—Kate is wearing Diana’s decade-of-decadence engagement ring, the couple’s engagement photos look eerily like the ones Princess Charles and Diana took back in the day, and the wedding is going down in Westminster Abbey which … booorrrring. And now we hear that the Buckingham Palace staff has sent out save-the-date notices to the royal families of Europe—by fax machine. I mean, couldn’t they just have sent carrier pigeons? [OMG News, People] Keep reading »
Prince William is adorable. And still, it’s hard not to notice that his hair is thinning a tad on top, like his father’s before him. But it’s customary not to point things like this out—it’s the guy version of someone calling attention to your muffin top. Apparently, Rogaine doesn’t get this. They made a public statement this week about William’s hair. “We’ve been watching Prince William’s growing bald spot closely for years, and we believe Rogaine can help,” a company spokesperson said. “We’d love to send him our new Unscented Men’s Rogaine Foam. William would be the perfect spokesman for Rogaine because whether you’re a prince or an average Joe, hereditary hair loss affects one in four men.” Start holding your breath now, Rogaine. [Life & Style] Keep reading »
Prince Charles is rumored to have a servant who squirts his toothpaste on his toothbrush. But Prince William and Kate Middleton will forgo such extravagances — for three years at least. The engaged couple will do their own laundry and cook their own meals for the remainder of the prince’s RAF military service, according to a royal source. That’s how long the couple intends to live on weekends in a cottage William rented in the town of Anglesey. “Prince William is not into extravagance and, like any other young officer in the armed forces, that is how he chooses to live his life,” said the source. “He and [Kate] live without domestic staff and they wouldn’t do it any other way. That’s the life they want to lead.” Of course, William and Kate have 24-hour body guards protecting them, but otherwise they live without maids or butlers. At least these kids don’t have any full-time staff; somehow I don’t imagine Prince William scrubbing his own toilet once a week.
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We thought Prince William and Kate Middleton‘s official engagement photo was a little weird. And now that we’ve seen Prince Charles and Diana’s engagement photo, it’s downright effing creepy. William and Kate are posed exactly as Charles and Diana were, from the placement of their hands on each other, to the women wearing the exact same hulking rock. William looks eerily like his dad, only with red hair. And Kate looks an awful lot like a long-haired Diana, which is exceptionally wrong because she’s, well, dead. Not to mention, why would these two want to emulate Williams’ parents’ photo as their marriage was notoriously unhappy? What do you guys think—is this creepy or is it just me? [NY Daily News]
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Britain apparently has a nation full of Emn Haddad-Friedmans. Who is Emn Haddad-Friedman, you ask? She was the bride who planned her wedding for July 31st in Rhineback, New York, the same weekend as Chelsea Clinton. Weddings are stressful enough without worrying the Clintons stole your caterers! After Prince William announced his engagement to longtime girlfriend Kate Middleton and set the wedding date for April 29, 2011, couples across Britain who chose the same day started fretting. Some Brits are really nutso about the royal family and the prince’s wedding will be a big enough deal to skip weddings of people they actually, you know, know. Personally, I think if someone chooses to stand outside Westminster Abbey for a peek at Kate’s bridal gown, or parks in front of the telly for the televised ceremony, it’s one less d-bag’s dinner and drinks you need to pay for. [BBC] Keep reading »
- Kate Middleton and Prince William (notice how I put his name second?) have announced their wedding date — the big event will take place on April 29th at Westminster Abbey. [BBC]
- Charlie Sheen is suing Capri Anderson, the woman he allegedly held prisoner at a hotel earlier this month, for extortion, saying she lied when she went and ran her mouth about the incident on TV. [Dlisted]
- Pink may be pregs, but that isn’t stopping her from rocking out in a bra top. [Huffington Post]