primaries

News

The former secretary of state of expected to become the presumptive nominee after big primaries Tuesday, but Puerto Rico’s Democratic primary Sunday bumped her over the threshold a day early. READ MORE »


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After suffering yet another defeat by alleged human Donald Trump during Tuesday night’s primary in Indiana, notorious handshake attempter Ted Cruz dropped out of the race for president. Twitter had a lot of feelings about it. READ MORE »


All of this happens while Ben Carson awkwardly swayed on the side like the sad little brother begrudgingly invited to the birthday party. READ MORE »


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Sanders pulled off a surprise win, Rubio’s campaign is a surprising dud. READ MORE »


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Gennifer Flowers, the self-proclaimed “charismatic actress, comedienne, and singer,” is better known for her recordings of President Clinton. The pair allegedly had a 12-year affair that was exposed during his 1992 Presidential campaign. Memorably, Flowers called a press conference to play taped phone conversations in which they called each other “honey.” While Flowers claims she… READ MORE »


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Bill Clinton, distinguished former president, author, lawyer, oral sex aficionado, and humanitarian, has now become a fight promoter. While addressing a church crowd in Greenville, S.C., the potential first First Man suggested that he “kind of liked to see Barack and Hillary fight.” Whoa there tiger! As if the verbal mud slinging hasn’t been graphic… READ MORE »