If you aspire to attend an Ivy League school, summer in the Hamptons and wouldn’t mind being compared to Blair Waldorf (no, not for one second!), you, my friend, are all about the East Coast prep look. The yacht-hot style has been around for decades, but “Gossip Girl” and the new, utterly repugnant reality show “NYC Prep” are bringing it to the mainstream with a vengeance. Good news is, you don’t have to live on the Upper East Side to look like you do.

Today’s New York Times Style Section article “Shorts Crack the Code” says it’s okay and increasingly common for men to wear shorts to work. We don’t support this fad because:

1. Forests of leg hair.
2. Dangling bits.
3. The existence of air conditioning.
4. Shorts + loafers = douche.
5. Even Chuck Bass can’t pull them off.