Let’s start with the good: Jessica Biel‘s subtle, glowy makeup at the NYC “Total Recall” premiere is gorgeous and ethereal, her hair is as close to perfection as it can get with the distracting fringe, love the reptile pumps, and that ring must have cost a grand heap of “Sexy Back” royalties. This look almost — almost — gets it so right, but she had to go and make a goddamn travesty of a lovely dress by throwing on an inexplicable matching lace cape! Whyyyyy, Jessica? Did JT insist? Are you taking a page out of Natalie‘s book and getting married beneath a chuppah directly after the premiere, which would explain the need for covered shoulders? Were you just cold? How cold? Was Colin Farrell cold, too? Do tell.
Tuesday night, Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale showed up for the premiere of their new movie, “Total Recall.” I say new movie, but it’s really a redux of the ’90s classic, which starred Arnold Schwarzeneggar. Several of my friends are “Total Recall” purists, and refuse to see the new one, but whatever, it stars Colin Ferrell, and he’s great. What’s not so great? Jessica Biel’s pocketful Christian Dior dress. It’s slightly boxy, and the retro shape doesn’t really work on her. Plus? There are weird pockets on the boobs, which I suppose are great if you’re constantly losing your keys or something, but they just add to the wrongness of this silhouette. Kate Beckinsale, though? She looks incredible in this snake print-y Armani Privé. Total Hollywood glamor. Yup Jessica, let Kate show you how it’s done.
I’m reluctant to admit this, but facts are facts: you done good, Blake Lively. I have a few bones to pick with the overall look — like, how much better would it have been with a messy updo instead of mermaid waves, or a smoky eye and nude lip, or glossy flesh-toned nails rather than red? — but this dress is devastating, and I mean that in the best way. Of course, I’m still not going to see “Savages.” Is anyone?
Brooklyn Decker wore this mismatch of a Giambattista Valli dress with Blue Nile jewels to the California premiere of her new movie, “What To Expect When You’re Expecting.” And while we’d generally be hard-pressed to find anything wrong with gorgeous Brooklyn, it’s undeniable that the top half of this dress does not go with the bottom half. Not only that, it kind of reminds us of the outfits hacky-sack playing girls would wear in college. But is that a problem? For you, it might not be.
Before any of you freak out, please know we have a deep and unabiding love for Mr. Johnny Depp. He’s amazing. He’s friggin’ adorable. And he will always be our number 1 (or 3) crush ever since he starred in the original “21 Jump Street.” But the man is clearly uncomfortable with being People’s Sexiest Man Alive because he mostly dresses like a country hobo just down to the city for a spoon jamboree. This has not in any way lessened our affections for him — nothing really could, not even the horrible “Rum Diaries.” — but take a gander at his sartorial history and tell me he’s not totally effing with us.
We’ve never really heard of Bella Heathcote before, but we do know she’s in the new “Dark Shadows” remake starring opposite Johnny Depp, who will no doubt be channeling some version of Keith Richards. We also know she’s got pretty major bangs, and has yet to offend us sartorially, having picked a very lovely cream frilly thing to wear to the film’s Los Angeles premiere. Good show, Ms. Heathcote, good show!
The new “Avengers” movie stars Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson and a slew of other celebs as a team of mysterious superheroes out to save the world. It goes to figure that they’d be dressing like champs then, right? Sure, but how did they really do? Click through to find out.
Krysten Ritter always gets stuck playing the quirky friend in movies like “Confessions of a Shopaholic” and “She’s Out of My League,” and I guess it’s a great thing that now she’s got the lead role in this new series, “Don’t Trust the B— in Apartment 23.” But geez, could this show have a worse name/premise? Anyway, it’s a shame, because Krysten always struck me as pretty cool — like someone you’d be friends with in an alternate universe. And she’s got a great fashion sense, too. Like, take this Jenni Kayne maxi-dress she wore to the premiere of her new film “Life Happens.” (And check out the red shoes!) Cute, cool and super laid-back. Just like we imagine Krysten probably is.
Okay, so this dress, with just a bunch of side cut outs would have been great. Or just a bunch of weird ruffles on the bottom. Sure, I’d abide. But the combo of the two might just qualify for over-complicating what could be a very pretty garment. Either way, she’s a pretty bangin’ MILF, wouldn’t you say? And we’ll definitely be watching when “Mad Men” returns to AMC on March 25, stupid dress or no.
What’s black and white and just a little bit yellow? Actress Emily Blunt at the premiere of her new movie, “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen.” It’s a rom-com! But also a serious movie about the Middle East. Go figure. Anyway, we like her black, white and slightly yellow ensemble, and thought we’d try copying it on the cheap. Click through for our take on her look. Keep reading »