I’m gonna be honest. I’m turning 30 this year and my biological clock is a-tickin’. I want kids in the next 3-5 years, partially because I don’t want to fork over any dough for fertility treatments. That’s why — along with marathon sessions of “The Millionaire Matchmaker” — I’m rapidly losing patience with men my age or older who don’t feel that they’re “ready” to have kids. When you don’t have a fire under your ass that’s pushing you to be ready, or else, it’s really easy to delay parenthood until the day your 40-year-old self grows up, decides it’s time to spread the seed, preferably in a 25-year-old’s egg. But science might finally have a little pressure to put on these guys. In The New York Times‘ Sunday Magazine this weekend, Lisa Belkin wrote about a new study out of Australia that found that children of older men have slightly lower IQ than those of younger fathers. Keep reading »
I am a woman. I have all the biological requirements to have a child. Yet, I do not have the instincts or rational desire to do so. Does that make me less of a woman to not want to have a child either by using my body, my eggs, or my money to adopt? Keep reading »
Thanks to Amy Benfer at Broadsheet for pointing out this article in the new issue of Self, called “Single, Pregnant and Panicked,” about the trend of twentysomething women having unplanned pregnancies. As the feature points out, we’ve all seen this trend in Hollywood — Nicole Richie, Jessica Alba, and Ashlee Simpson have all had babies in the last few years — but some of us, especially given the statistics, have probably seen it in our personal lives or experienced unplanned pregnancy ourselves. Despite editing this site, the statistics shocked me. About half of American women will have an accidental pregnancy before the age of 45. That’s kind of a scary thought, considering my addiction to high-fructose corn syrup (um, and red wine).
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I was lying there on the cold, hard examining table. A stranger came in and before I knew it, I was uncomfortably spreading my legs. He told me it wouldn’t hurt and proceeded to stick a strange contraption up into my body. I was there to find out “if all my parts were as they should be.” Keep reading »
In last weekend’s edition of the New York Times Magazine, Alex Kuczynski, the author of Beauty Junkies, writes about having a baby by surrogate in “Her Body, My Baby.” In her late 30s, Kuczynski couldn’t get pregnant. Over the course of several years, she tried in vitro fertilization and miscarried multiple times. Finally, she found a surrogate mother who would carry, as she puts it, “the product of my egg and my husband’s sperm.” It’s a story about the lengths a woman will go to have a baby — but it’s also a story only a wealthy woman could tell, as Kuczynksi and her financier husband spent over $100,000 to make her baby dreams come true. (The surrogate was paid $25,000 for the use of her womb.) In the article’s comments, readers are tearing Kuczynski apart, deeming her a “disgusting… spoiled brat” and a “rich, self-obsessed snob,” while far fewer others are commending her for telling her story at all. So, what do you think? Has the high-tech business of baby-making gone too far? Or is having a baby by any means necessary a 21st century fertility reality? Keep reading »
2006 was a year of unprotected sex for me. No, not every time, but I started off the year with a fling with a slightly older man I was besotted with, who didn’t speak a word about condoms, and, in response, I didn’t either. I wanted to trust that he had some magical knowledge that somehow I was missing, that maybe the world had overturned itself and they were no longer necessary. I was wrong, and after a pregnancy panic as I searched for Plan B — this was right before it was so readily available — I escaped unscathed. Then later that year I met a guy I fell absolutely head over heels with, sure that we were destined to be together. Keep reading »