You know you’ve made it when a porn star earns a paycheck off her likeness to you — so, congratulations Lena Dunham! “This Ain’t Girls XXX” stars the Hannah character breaking up with her boyfriend Adam to dabble with women (of course). Like the real “Girls,” the parody porn includes includes “mild BDSM,” including “dirty talk and rough sex” with a ballgag. And just like real “Girls,” the sex scenes get cringe-inducingly awkward. “I tried to make it as weird as possible,” Richie Calhoun, the actor who plays Adam, told the porn news site XBIZ. “I tried to say really weird things and do really weird positions.” Why it took as long as it did for “Girls” to get its own parody porn from Hustler will be the mystery of our generation. Or a mystery of a generation. [XBiz]
Hello, Child Protective Services? “Teen Mom” and erstwhile porn star Farrah Abraham told a radio station that she’s saved a “baby box” for her toddler Sophia, which she plans to hand over when her daughter is “around 13 or 14, gets her period and is like ‘Oh, I kinda want a boyfriend.’” In it, she’s got all the episodes of “Teen Mom,” her book, and … the porno she filmed with James Deen. Or, as Farrah insists on calling it, her “sex tape.” Why, you might ask, would a 7th or 8th grade girl want to watch a porn film starring her mother? Farrah doesn’t have an explanation herself, but she seems to think that getting one’s period is a sign of advanced sexual maturity and not just, like, part of puberty. There’s nothing wrong with filming a porn, or being a sex worker, and also being a parent. There’s nothing wrong with being a teen parent, either. What is wrong is involving your kid in that confusing (and frankly, gross — no kid wants to know about their mom’s sex life!) realm before the kid is mature enough to mentally and emotionally process it. While I can admire Farrah’s stance as a parent that “I do not hide things,” she obviously isn’t thinking with her Responsible Parenting Cap on with this one. [Celebitchy] [Photo: Pacific Coast News]
If your parents have ever hassled you about a no-good, worthless jerk you’ve been dating, it’s time send Mom and Dad an email saying, “At least I wasn’t dating this guy!” This guy is Billy Gibby, who changed his name to Hostgator Dotcom when he sold his name the the web hosting company Hostgator.com. That’s not the only thing Dotcom’s made a quick buck off of: he earned $50,000 a decade ago getting his entire face tattooed with URLs for porn sites and online casinos. He’s a walking billboard for sleaze! But after learning that Dotcom might want to remove some of those face tats, one of the porn sites, Cam4.com, has offered to pay for the cost of laser tattoo removal. ”They advertised on my face a long time ago … and decided they wanted to help me,” Dotcom told VICE magazine. “They’re just doing it to be nice.” Nice indeed. Just think of all the respectable jobs he could get with one less porn site URL tattooed on his face.
[Daily Dot] [Image via Facebook.com/HostgatorDotcom]
That “private” Farrah Abraham and James Deen sex tape is here to ruin lunch for us all! From a blowjob, to P-in-V sex, to the “back door” anal sex as promised, we see James and Farrah in all kinds of clearly-planned-in-advance-for-Vivid fun. Farrah’s her usual nasally, kinda ditzy self but you’ll never look at “Teen Mom” the same way again. For some reason, this sex tape is especially uncomfortable. (Though I beg to disagree with her allegation that Deen is rocking a small penis. There’s a reason this guy is a professional porn star.) You can watch an edited clip above and the full 5-minute clip here. It’s very NSFW. Like, don’t get it twisted, it is straight up hardcore pornography.
Now excuse me while I go try and burn the image of Farrah Abraham’s anus from my mind. I need to “Enternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind” that shit.
“My doctor actually told me that sex doesn’t count as cardio and working out. And then the next time I saw him he had seen one of my scenes, and he told me, “You are OK.” In the film world, people don’t realize you’re not just having sex. Sex on camera can be anywhere from 20 minutes to four hours. It all depends on the production and type of scene. It’s also not just standard sex, like, “Let’s just make each other’s bodies feel good.” It’s physical, entertainment-style sex. So while you might ride a motorcycle in a certain way when you’re driving to work, if you’re a stunt person and you’re going to ride that motorcycle on camera, you’re going to do a totally different style of motorcycle riding. My whole point is that because of the on-camera sex, I have this insane style of stunt sex. It actually is very physically strenuous. It’s a good workout. All the positioning and weird things. My doctor said so! Doctor-approved workout.”
And here I was thinking that sex, my preferred (and, um, only) form of workout, was a super-sneaky way to get some serious cardio. Not true. Like, at all. Damn you, James Deen’s doctor, damn you! [GQ]
“Have you ever seen your teacher’s breasts before? Well, now you can see them.”
Such was the tag line for MySluttyTeacher.com, a porn site started by Heidi Kaeslin — oh dear — a special education teacher and girls’ soccer coach in Stockton, California. Kaeslin lost her job at Lincoln High School after she was found to have set up My Slutty Teacher and other porn sites on her work laptop with the aid of her alleged boyfriend, a resource officer at the school.
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Better start hoarding your cum shot videos and bondage now, Icelanders! The government of Iceland is considering a ban on Internet pornography that depicts “violent,” “hateful,” and “degrading” content in an effort to keep children from being exposed to that material. Keep reading »