Tag Archives: porn

OMFG: Fifth Grade Teacher Sends Kids Home With a DVD—With A Clip Of Her Naked!

Oh, look how cute, little Jimmy, on his class trip! Hey, look at Suzy raising her hand in class! Uhhh, is that Miss Defanti? What is she doing? Why yes, kids, that is your fifth-grade teacher lying naked in bed with her legs spread wide open. Crystal Defanti, a fifth-grade teacher from Sacramento, California, gave her twenty-five students a DVD to take home at the end of the school year. The DVD showed a years worth of class activities….but also an eight-second clip of her lying naked with her legs spread. All a huge horrifying mistake (for everyone involved—imagine having to explain to your fifth-grader what she was doing?), the teacher hadn’t realized that her homemade sex video was on the tape and called the families hysterically the next morning, sobbing, apologizing and asking them to stop any further students from viewing it. Beyond mortifying. Keep reading »

Hustler Inspired By The Boob Tube

We already told you about “Not The Cosby Show XXX”, “Celebrity Pornhab with Dr. Screw”, “Keeping It Up With The Kard-ASS-ians”, “This Ain’t Star Trek XXX”, and reports on the trend of porn companies like Hustler Video looking to television for inspiration, writing:

The twist now is going the extra mile to invest projects with better production values that actually have scripts and genuinely resemble the source material. There are stories, plots and even sex-free versions to accentuate the parody– however incongruous that might sound — on Blu-ray editions.

Uh, sex free versions? Now what’s the point of THAT? [Variety] Keep reading »

China Cracks The Whip On Porn

Does anyone else thinks it’s crazy that China has gone apes**t on the porn industry? Yes, porn has been illegal in China since 1949, and there were big old crackdowns on “spiritual pollution” in the 1980s. But recently, the government decided to really get down and dirty with the industry. In 2002, they passed a law whereby censors can look at normal folks’ emails and websites to make sure there was no questionable content involved. Then in 2005, the government locked up Chen Hui, the creator of China’s biggest porn site, and sentenced him to life in prison. In May, the government shut down Love Land, a sex-themed amusement park, before it even opened. Last week, the government started blocking Google on some computers because, well, it’s obviously the portal to sin. Starting on Wednesday, every single computer sold in China will automatically have software installed to keep the owner from surfing for or downloading porn.
Keep reading »

Quickies!: Sarah Jessica Parker And Matthew Broderick’s Twins Are Born

  • Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick’s twin daughters were born yesterday via a surrogate. The babies’ names are Marion Loretta Elwell Broderick and Tabitha Hodge Broderick. [Quickies] — That first name sucks ass, even if it has familial significance.
  • Mattel is releasing “Twilight” dolls in the likeness of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson’s characters, Bella Swan and Edward Cullen. [Perez Hilton] — OK, Kristen officially has to give up her I’m-so-awkward-I’m-cool shtick because nothing spells conformity like M-A-T-T-E-L.
  • How did Tanner P. from “The Bachelorette” know that Jillian’s feet were “softer than s**t?” [E! Online] — I guess he’s had a ton of crap in his life.

Keep reading »

Are You Going To Watch “Hung”?

This Sunday, June 28, at 10 p.m., HBO is premiering a new show, “Hung.” Guess what it’s about? A guy who turns to prostitution to make a living. Step aside, “Belle de Jour.” Get out of here, “The Girlfriend Experience.” Call-girls are, like, so 2008. 2009 is all about guys who sell their bodies to make ends meet. The dramatic comedy stars Thomas Jane as Ray Drecker, an all-star high school athlete who ends up as a high school basketball coach whose wife dumps him for her dermatologist. Casting about for something to do with his life and make some money, Drecker takes note of his well-endowed physique and sets about renting it out by the hour. Uh, “The Sopranos” it ain’t. It’s “Boogie Nights” meets the recession! Are you going to tune in or tune it out? Keep reading »

I Married A Pornographer

“Hi, Honey!” I said as I poked my head out from the kitchen. “How was the gangbang at the bowling alley?” My husband swung through the front door lugging film equipment.

“Pretty whatever,” he said. “Four massive dudes and two roller girls.”

We were newlyweds. Ours was not your typical greeting. Keep reading »

Hustler Shows XXX Love For The Kardashian Sisters

By now we know the three bodacious babes known as he Kardashian sisters are more than a little difficult to keep up with. But Hustler has found a way to do it: exploitation. They’ve lined up a trio of beautiful — and busty — brunettes for a classy new DVD called “Keeping It Up for the Kard-ASS-ians.” If the title isn’t clever enough for you, the tag line has to be! “Their name? Infamous. Their lifestyle? Privileged. Their M.O? To be the biggest sluts possible.” The film, which is already a hit on the web, is available in DVD or Blu Ray for a modest $41.99. Hustler would have been right on the cutting edge if Kim herself hadn’t beat them to the punch with her home-spun porn classic featuring Ray J.
  Keep reading »

Frisky PSA: Safe Sex Is Fun Sex!

Have you been tested lately? California health officials announced yesterday that an actress in the porn industry has been diagnosed with HIV––just another reminder to be safe when you’re having fun in bed. This is the first publicized case of HIV from the industry since 2004 (although the California health records show 22 HIV cases total since 2004). According to Steven Hirsch, an executive at Vivid Entertainment Group, the adult film industry has pumped out over 100,000 films since 2004 (whoa that’s an insane amount of porn), so having this few cases shows how successful the health practices have been in the business. While actors are required to be tested within 30 days of doing a shoot, and HIV cases have been very low, the Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation reports that approximately 15 actors every week test positive for other infections. I will stop with the scary statistics about the icky infections and just provide you with a little PSA from your mother at The Frisky: use condoms, get tested and have safe fun! [Fox News] Keep reading »

British Porn Mag For Women Models Only “Feminine” Men

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaa-dies! We’ve got a new porno mag out over in England!

But unfortunately, Filament received a sour review from the Daily Mail, which hissed, “Most of the boys pictured are effeminate and not arousing.”

Indeed, we, too, are flabbergasted with Filament‘s idea of what makes women wet. Apparently it’s skinny boy-men with soft features who either outright look like Rufus Wainwright or look like Rufus groupies. The porn mag’s web site explains Filament relied on both published academic research and their own online research to discover what turns women on and they came up with specifics like “men who are not muscle-bound” and “men with more feminine face shapes.”

No thanks! To each her own, we guess. Keep reading »

Sarah Palin Adult Movies: The Trend That Wouldn’t Die

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to surfing the Internet, Hustler has announced it’s got yet another adult movie spoofing the life and times of former vice-presidential candidate and governor of Alaska Sarah Palin. When it comes to XXX, Palin moves product, apparently. First, there was “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?” Then, there was “Obama Is Nailin’ Palin.” (Guess we got that question answered.) Now, the X-rated empire Larry Flynt built is producing “Hollywood’s Nailin’ Palin,” in which, among other surely tawdry deeds, “Sarah Palin” gets it on with “Tina Fey” playing Sarah Palin on “SNL.” It’s all so confusing. In any case, the sure to be, um, fascinating latest homage to the politician who will not go away is set to be released early this summer. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing. By which I mean politics. [Sexaminer] Keep reading »

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