This is James Deen — or at least that’s the name he goes by in the hundreds of porn films he’s made over the last several years. Deen is an unlikely looking porn star, with an unlikely story — and he’s perhaps heralding in a new aesthetic into the porn scene, long dominated by ripped, buff, overly-muscled guys. Deen is a porn star with nerd appeal.
Some porn is sexy and some is well, just more amusing than arousing. Click through to see the six types of porno that will give you a laughgasm. Or an orgasm, depending on what your kinks are. There’s something out there for everyone. Be forewarned that the links are extremely NSFW … and hilarious. Enjoy!
You will probably remember the name Hazel Jones. She’s the woman we told you about with the two vaginas. Ah, now you remember. We had a running bet going about how long it would be before she was offered the big bucks to star in a porno. One week. That’s all it took. The 27-year-old has received a million dollar offer from Vivid Entertainment to share her services. That’s a half a mil for the vaginas to split evenly! I doubt she’ll say yes — she seems like a proper gal — but if she does, they will have a lot of fun coming up with a title. “A Tale Of Two Vaginas”? I’m not good at this. Add your suggestions in the comments. [Film Drunk]
A recent essay about “facials” really got me thinking. Why is it that the act of ejaculating on a woman’s face is called a “facial”? Is semen an astringent? It seems to me that the act could be called something manlier, like “spackling,” or more … inviting? Women love cupcakes. Why not call the sex act “frosting”?
This essay was posted on Jezebel, and it was written by Hugo Schwyzer. The piece seeks to explain why men want to “jizz” on a woman’s face. Apparently, this sex act is highly controversial. Some women find it degrading, some find it liberating. Is it a way for men to mark their territories? Or is the act a symptom of the AIDs epidemic, when semen became a potentially lethal substance? Has porn popularized this climactic ritual? Does porn influence men, or is it a reflection of the evolving sexual desires of the day? (I’m going to answer this in a hot minute.) Keep reading »
Looking back at all the progress humanity has made through the last century, it’s perfectly natural to feel a little bit moved by the power of human ingenuity and our thrive for constant improvement. It’s natural, but also totally wrong. Because if you really look into the history of our technological development, you’ll notice that the force driving us forward all this time wasn’t our need to better ourselves or seek out truth in all its forms, but rather our desire to see naked people touch each other’s junk. Keep reading »
Even if you’re not a overbearing girlfriend or wife, you need to watch this demo video for the web site FindHisPorn.com. Set to dramatic music, the automated hard drive scanner reveals a number of porn websites before zooming in on the midget sex website your husband has supposedly been wacking off to. Me thinks if you can’t ask your boyfriend what type of porn he watches, you’ve come across your first red-flag long before MidgetSex.com has fully loaded! This type of snooping suggests there’s more issues on your part than anything (say, X-rated midgets) you’ll discover about his sexual tastes. But maybe I’m wrong: can anyone think of an instance when FindYourPorn.com would be ethical? [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »
There seems to be an influx in creepy football coaches, or at least in the public stepping forward to report them: An assistant coach at Staples High School in Westport, Connecticut is in trubs for allegedly providing freshman players with his personal username and password for a membership-only porn site. A student reported the incident to faculty members after he overheard the coach relaying the porno password to team members. The coach has since been suspended from his position and barred from any contact with team members or students. Helping young teen boys look at porn certainly does not compare in any way, shape or form to the sexual abuse that occurred at Penn State. But, still, a fully-grown male providing porn to 14-year-old boys is kinda gross, right? I mean, he knows these kids know how to use Google. [Deadspin]
I learn something new everyday. For instance, did you know that Cameron Diaz once filmed a porn? Not a homemade sex tape, mind you, but a legit soft-core smut video. Cameron was 19 and after she hit the big time, she worked her fanny off trying to cover up her porno past, but, alas, the video hit the internet anyway. It features Cameron in one of those ridiculous breast-exposing body suits, making her nipples harder with some sort of aerosol contraption (I am unfamiliar with these sorts of on-set porn techniques), and then yanking a shirtless guy in chains. It’s ridiculously early-’90s. You can watch it above, but warning, it is NSFW on account of the nipples and the stupid bondage scenarios.
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