This is, like, one of the worst videos I’ve ever seen. So bad that it’s almost fascinating in its horribleness. According to Michael K., this Enrique Iglesias “Sad Eyes” video dates back to 2000, but has supposedly never been seen. For good reason, methinks. In it, Enrique wanders around a hotel room, looking damp and touching himself in ambiguous-yet-erotic ways. Lonely, sad, and moist, he gets all obsessed with a girl on one of those chat lines who’s in those ads that are all, like, “CALL ME NOW.” He basically dry humps his TV and his computer. Later, the girl shows up in his dreams and ... rides his stripper pole. And I mean that literally. His costar is a real porn star, Cassidey. I hope they got their happy ending. [Dlisted]

You know those stories that are just sad all around, the ones in which no one really wins? The story of former adult actress Janine Lindemulder battling to regain custody of her 5-year-old daughter, Sunny, from Sandra Bullock and Jesse James looks to be one of those stories. Lindemulder was recently released from prison, where she was doing time for tax evasion. Now, she wants custody of her daughter, who has been under the care of Bullock and James. A recent court filing suggests the war over Sunny is getting ugly. The Bullock/James camp points out that Lindemulder is, in addition to being a former porn star, a former substance abuser and a convicted felon. That Lindemulder recently married another convicted felon (who, judging by his tattoos, also looks to be a former gang member) probably doesn’t help her case. It’s hard to imagine that the self-proclaimed broke Lindemulder will have much luck when she goes up against the Hollywood stars’ high-powered legal team. While Sunny may well be better off with her father and step-mother, it’s hard to see a mother fighting for her child, a battle she’ll probably lose because she’s haunted by her tortured past. [GMA]

Porn star Lorelei Lee, who took her stage name from Marilyn Monroe’s iconic bombshell in “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes,” has been nominated for three Adult Video News Awards. But don’t underestimate her—she’s a serious smartie who is getting a master’s degree from NYU’s coveted creative writing program and has published short stories in $pread magazine and the Denver Quarterly. Still, she’s not your typical movie-of-the-week character who strips or hooks to pay her way through school. Interestingly, her porn career barely covers the bills from the bursar’s office. Her daily rate on a film is $1,400, and she estimates that her earnings from porn are somewhere around $30,000 to $60,000 a year. We say that the porn diva should study screenwriting, so maybe she can pick up some additional money by penning some of her movies. If so, I hope we can look forward to more plot-driven dialogue in our skin flicks. And to heroes beyond the pizza delivery boy. [Gothamist]

To be perfectly honest, I haven’t been following the national health care debate all that closely. Not, that is, until I heard what adult actress Sasha Grey had to say about it. Sure, Obama’s views are important, but what does a porn star think? That’s what I wanted to know. Here, care of our boys at Asylum, Sasha chats health care with a guy from “Human Giant” pretending to be Bob Guccione. Then the pizza guy shows up. I think I need a shower. [Asylum]

“I am going to begin an amazing blog based strictly on beauty, fashion and mommy issues…”

—Adult film star-turned-mom Jenna Jameson tweeted her plans to become the next Anna Wintour/Heather Armstrong

Honesty is always the best policy… except when you lead a double life as a porn star. Haylie Hocking thought she knew everything about her fiancé, personal trainer Jason Brake. The 27-year-old bride was just weeks away from her wedding when she discovered Jason spent more time in the buff than getting buff. Haylie’s friend started searching online for a male stripper for the bachelorette party and came across a video of a man who seriously resembled Jason getting raunchy with another woman. Turns out, Jason was a porn star on the side, and wasn’t training people in the gym like he told Haylie. Not surprisingly, Haylie canceled the big day. Hey, nobody wants to introduce Mr. Porno as their husband, at least not without a little warning. [Telegraph] 

Oh, but Haylie is not the only one to discover something shocking about her significant other. After the jump, other people whose jaws hit the floor when they found out the truth.

Carolin Berger, whose porn star name is “Cora,” set out to break a world record by, uh, orally pleasuring 200 dudes. But after reaching the 75th guy, Cora was rushed to the hospital because she couldn’t breathe. Yeah, of course she couldn’t breathe! We can barely breathe when giving, you know, one blow job. Hey, do you think the docs in the ER had to give her mouth-to-mouth?

Anyhoo, sadly, this isn’t the first time that Cora’s sexcapades have gotten her into trouble. In another brilliant move, Cora used a public park to film sex scenes for a porn during the day. Parents were outraged when their children got an impromptu sex-ed lesson, and they called the police. When the cops showed up, Cora’s horny dudes packed their junk and headed for the hills. One particularly intelligent lad tripped over his pants, breaking his wrist. Fingers crossed it wasn’t the one he uses for the money shot!

Adult film star Marilyn Chambers, who became the face of the “porno chic” movement of the ‘70s, has died at 57. The star of one of the most famous adult movies in history, “Behind the Green Door,” Marilyn Ann Briggs started out a far cry from the adult industry. Born into a middle-class family and raised in Providence, Rhode Island, her most famous mainstream modeling gig was as a mother holding a baby on the cover of a box of Ivory Snow soap. In 1972, the San Francisco-based Mitchell brothers approached Chambers about starring in “Green Door.” After the movie’s premiere, Proctor & Gamble dumped her from their Ivory Snow campaign and recalled all product and advertising with her image on it. Over the following years, Chambers continued to return to the adult movie industry and confessed to having struggled with alcohol and drug addictions. Yesterday, she was found dead in her Santa Clarita mobile home by her daughter. The cause of death remains unknown.

Yesterday we told you about porn star Jenna Jameson’s new perfume, “Heartbreaker,” and speculated about the scents other celebs might put out. But the question that is still weighing on my mind is, “Who in the hell would buy a fragrance concocted by a porn star?” (To be fair, I have a similar cluelessness about scents put out by trashy hos like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.) But the fragrance industry isn’t the only mainstream endeavor that porn stars have tried to infiltrate. After the jump, five products (that are not sex toys or sex dolls) created by members of the adult entertainment industry.

If a former actor can be elected Governor of California and a comedian can run for Senator in Minnesota, then why can’t a porn star run for a Senate seat in Louisiana? Stormy Daniels is a female porn star who is rumored to be challenging current Senator David Vitter for Louisiana’s Senate seat in 2010. Vitter made headlines in 2007 for being linked to the DC Madam. Although the GOP forgave Vitter’s indiscretion, the people of Louisiana may not have been so willing to overlook his flaw.

This year, an ad appeared on Craigslist seeking “a female in some aspect of the adult-entertainment industry” to run against Vitter. Perhaps someone out there wanted a porn star to run against Vitter to remind everyone of Vitter’s link to the scandal? Soon after, a website “drafting” porn actress Stormy Daniels to oppose Vitter popped up. Since then, Stormy seems to have gotten on board with the idea of running for office…

Beyond those “Boogie Nights” and the rise of video, internet porn has really been putting the lick in click. Still, there seems to be something missing from porn—good old-fashioned making out. Susan Walsh asks: “Is Porn Changing The Way We Kiss?” Sucking face is an essential part of lovemaking, baby! So, we decide to ask Joanna Angel, the punk rock porn star and female founder of BurningAngel.com, why there isn’t a lot of kissing in porn.

Porn stars are sex professionals.  It’s their business to know about pleasure and how to get it, or atleast how to seem like you’re getting it. Sure, some things should be left to the experts—like electrical work and medical exams—but when it comes to sex, we amateurs want to do it like professionals. So, for good girls who want to be naughty, here are The Top Five Tips For Screwing Like A Porn Star:

1. Be Eager Send him slutty text messages, go commando—when you’re ready for some action, take it!

Sarah Michelle Geller is back—and she’s got herself some too! The former Buffy star is busting out with three new movies this year, including Southland Tales, in which she plays a porn star.  As shooting wrapped and Sarah Michelle was leaving the set, she just had to snatch one x-rated prop to take home with her. What was her must-have memento? Geller grabbed a fake porn DVD jacket starring her character, that had been created for the film.  Since Sarah Michelle doesn’t do nudie scenes or exposure of any kind, the filmmakers had her face Photoshopped onto the DVD wrapping. “They let me pick the body of the girl they put my head on: I picked one with a curvy body and butt,” Sarah Michelle said.  We’re kind of surprised the producers didn’t just hire Kim Kardashian. [Star Pulse]