If you had asked me a few seconds ago, “Amelia, would you be interested in hearing yet another ‘Let It Go’ parody?” I would have given you a death glare and reconsidered our friendship. Luckily, I did watch yet another “Let It Go” parody and it was this one, the earworm-y song brilliantly reimagined by young Emily Mandelbaum as an ode to pooping. This is pure comic genius right here. If I didn’t know better, given her love for lengthy poop jokes, I would think Emily was my child. Emily, I expect more poop parodies from you. How about taking on Pharrell’s “Happy” next? [Death & Taxes]
Make It Stop is a new weekly column in which Anna Goldfarb — the blogger behind Shmitten Kitten and Shlooby Kitten — tells you what’s up. Want a fresh take on a stinky dilemma? Email firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject “Make It Stop.” She’ll make it all better, or at least make you laugh. Girl Scout’s honor.
First up, we have a woman whose coworkers use the office ladies’ room like their own personal telephone booth (yes, that’s our own Amelia above, gabbing away)… Keep reading »
I write this to you in the heat of the moment, still disgusted at what I just witnessed in the company ladies room. IT WAS NOT PRETTY. In fact, after slurping down several tall glasses of Long Island Iced Teas during a barbecue yesterday, I was forced to stop at a seedy, highway rest stop McDonald’s to pee, and I’m sad to report that their women’s restroom was cleaner than the one in my office building. But this isn’t just happening in my building. Gag-worthy workplace bathrooms— particularly ladies’ rooms— have become an epidemic. We can all relate. Keep reading »
I’m sure there are some people who have a preferred brand of toilet paper, or at least think they do, but how many of us have actually been given an opportunity to compare and contrast various TPs in one
shitting sitting? That’s why I think this Dutch supermarket is on to something — the grocery store’s restroom is stocked with a wall of different brands of TP, all labeled, so you can pop a squat, do your business (personally, I think doing #2 would be the best test), and wipe away until they’ve settled on a fave. I’m not sure why this Dutch supermarket is so invested in helping customers find the best TP for their peeing and pooping needs, but I sure wish American grocery stores gave a shit. [Consumerist]
Jennifer Lawrence had a scheduled appearance on “The Late Show With David Letterman” recently, but she couldn’t make it. Why? Because she was crapping her pants. Several times a day. And had to go to the hospital. “You can only shit your pants so many times a day before you, like, have to go to the emergency room,” she said. This is true. Jennifer shared all of these details and more with David Letterman, who could only respond, “Oh … my … goodness.” Get well soon, Jennifer! And stay near a toilet! [YouTube]
I don’t know about you, but I’ve always been okay with peeing in the ocean. Mostly because it’s annoying to pee when you’re wearing a one-piece bathing suit, which I wore when I was a kid, so I just got into the habit of letting it flow in the ocean. I think most people feel that it’s harmless and even enjoy peeing in the ocean, although some people seem to believe it’s wrong and/or weird. Inevitably, these non-ocean urinators are met with a slew of justifications from the pro-ocean urinators: That’s where the fish pee! The salt water makes the already sterile urine even more sterile! Or something! Everyone does it! The natural world is our toilet! Keep reading »