Everybody poops.
Deal with it, ladies.
And yes, I mean “ladies.” Because while there are many ways you are discriminated against in the office because of your gender — unequal pay, the glass ceiling, the boys’ club — but hiding your poop at work because you’re afraid what somebody will think about your bowel movements is all you. Keep reading »
Al Roker, prepare for your sharting incident to be forgotten. I wish I spoke Finnish right now so that I could understand this story in it’s entirety because it is bonkers. From what I can ascertain from the wonky Google translation, two female journalist purposefully pooped in their pants on a bus traveling from Helsinki to Turku and wrote about the experience. May Day Vappu Kaarenoja and Aurora Rämö of Ylioppilaslehti, Finland’s largest student newspaper, planned the act of public defecation for the newspaper’s 100th anniversary issue. They detailed the the pooping process, riding the bus with poop in their pants, how their pants felt and smelled and I can only imagine what else.
As you might have guessed, both the bus company and the newspaper’s distributor were not excited about this piece of journalism. The bus company’s CEO is calling it a “tasteless trick and really tasteless writing.” “This is extra work for us. And this is certainly [bad] for bus passenger comfort, the idea that someone has shit his pants on the bench,” said the CEO. They company is considering taking further action against the girls. They would like an apology and money for cleaning expenses. [Kotimaa]
It will never get worse than this.
I’m thinking that to myself as I rock back and forth on a toilet in a noisy bar. It’s Saturday night, a table full of my friends is wondering where I ran off to, and I have a potential date/booty call in a couple of hours. I’m sweating, I’m shaking and I’m trying to figure out what did it this time.
It, of course, is another horrific bout of diarrhea, one of the charming effects of irritable bowel syndrome. I felt it coming on as we walked to the bar, and made a beeline to the gas station across the street. I had to wait while the cashier bullshitted with a cabbie, shifting weight from one foot to another while cramps amped their way up my abdomen. Keep reading »
My best friend called me over the Thanksgiving break.
“I have to call you back. I’m about to poop,” I told her.
“She’s going to call us back,” I could hear her say to someone next to her. Probably her mother. “She needs to poop.”
“You didn’t need to repeat that!” I shrieked.
See, I did the right thing here by not taking that call. But KIDS THESE DAYS (shakes fist in the air) are increasingly using their smart phones and tablets on the toilet. Keep reading »
First of all, comedian Robbie Sherrard (or should I call him Robbie Shitard?) is to be commended for keeping a straight face as he says that women only poop about once a week (unless they drink coffee). Good one, Robbie! Then he goes on to describe the three different type of girlfriend poopers. There’s the self-conscious pooper, who goes to great lengths to never drop a “Hiroshitma” in her dude’s presence; the TMI pooper who takes Instagram photos of her deuce; and the middle-ground pooper, who quietly does her business and never speaks of it. I’m going to get working on my rebuttal video about the three types of pooper boyfriends: The whiney pooper who won’t shit without his baby wipes and often carries them on his person; the considerate pooper, who uses air freshener for your benefit; and the bomb dropper, who proudly clogs your toilet every time he goes. [Buzzfeed]
Have I mentioned that I have a mild phobia of public restrooms? I believe I have. I’m not scared of them per se, it’s just that I want to be alone when I go to the bathroom. Why should I be forced to share? It’s not cool. Since my single bathroom utopia is hard to find (unless I’m at home), I have to find some way to make this public restroom thing work. Japanese inventors came up with a solution for concealing embarrassing bathroom noises.The Eco-Otome Toilet Sound Blocker is an adorable little gadget that mimics the sound of a flushing toilet for 25 seconds. Just put it on your keychain and push the button until you or the other bathroom goer is done doing da business. A step in the right direction for bathroom-phobes. If only it didn’t cost $20. [Oddity Central]OK
Back in college, my best dude friend laughingly told me a horrifying — and quite possibly apocryphal — story about a “friend of a friend” whose one-night stand lost control of her bowels during a particularly energetic bout of anal sex. Embarrassed for the woman, I tentatively asked what the man did at that point, figuring he’d gotten angry or flipped out or ran into the bathroom to vomit.
“Oh,” my friend said nonchalantly, “Duh. He took her into the bedroom and kept going.”
The story’s stuck with me for years and not just for the gross-out factor: the more I’d hear about women afraid to crap in their boyfriends’ apartments or in shared hotel room bathrooms on weekend getaways, about psychosomatic constipation related to the mere presence of a man with whom a woman was having sexual relations, the more I’d think about the nonchalant way men talk about shit and wonder if we were really just doing all of this to ourselves. Is it really that men (or, at least the kind of men you’d want near your genitals) need us to be poop-and-fart free to want to fuck us, or have we just convinced ourselves they did? Or, worse yet, are we projecting our own learned squeamishness about our bodily functions onto men, as a way to rationalize yet another internalization of the “our bodies are gross” myths that pervade society? Keep reading »
Ever since Rachel Rabbit White posited that pooping is a feminist issue, we’ve been talking a lot about the poop problem around The Frisky office. Amelia even suggested we implement a policy whereby we announce when we are going to the bathroom to take a dump. Ya know, just to open up the conversation. Mostly, our poop talk has centered around relationships. Is there a proper way to poop in a partner’s presence? To talk about it? The ladies here run the gamut from excited to share potty time with a new beau to completely mortified at the prospect. After the jump we’ve put together some proposed DO’s and DON’Ts of pooping etiquette for couples. We hope you’ll add your suggestions in the comments. Yay POOP! Keep reading »
Mary and I were sitting on her couch, laughing. “But wait, no seriously, is pooping a feminist issue? Why aren’t we talking about this?” I asked.
It was funny, if only because there was some truth in the (often female) phenomenon of “holding it in.” There’s this prevalent idea that girls don’t poop.
“Ugh. I hate that part of dating,” Mary said. “ I can remember holding it in all weekend, waiting until we got to a restaurant or somewhere!”
I knew this move all too well. I wondered, Is this every woman’s secret? Keep reading »
An article in the Daily Mail reveals all of the things we’ve been doing wrong and didn’t even know it. For example: showering every day, rinsing after brushing our teeth, sleeping too many hours, and not breathing deeply enough. My favorite “daily sin,” however, is our poor pooping form. A new study showed that squatting is more effective than sitting on the toilet and causes less strain on our bowels. This problem can be easily rectum-fied, I mean … rectified. Scientists suggest that “placing a six-inch footrest under your feet and leaning forward on a regular sitting toilet may help, and this effect could be achieved to a lesser extent with toilet rolls placed under the feet. Raising the feet in this way on a regular basis may well result in shorter visits to the loo and less straining.” Duly noted. [Daily Mail UK] Keep reading »
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