Posts tagged "poop"

The Amazon Reviews For Haribo Sugarless Gummy Bears Are Disgustingly Hilarious

The reviews on Amazon are often a treasure trove of hilarity, but occasionally they are both amusing and educational. For example, I had no idea until today that if I were to eat a handful of Haribo sugarless gummy bears, I could expect my insides to turn into hot lava. According to the hundreds of reviews for…

By: Amelia McDonell-Parry / January 16, 2014

Sorority Girls Gets Back At Boyfriend By Pooping On His Bed

A tipster wrote into Total Frat Move saying,”A Beta took a chick home last night then ditched her to apparently hook up with another girl. The original girl wasn’t too happy so she took a shit on his chair then wiped with his comforter. Read more on College Candy…

By: College Candy / January 15, 2014

This Is What Happens When You Piss Off The Baker Making Your Engagement Cake

When bride-to-be Micaela Harris told her sister she had an engagement cake all lined up for her party, her sister insisted on being the one to bring the cake. Micaela agreed and her sister went about getting her a custom-made cake from New Zealand bakery, Oh Cakes. Somewhere along the way, Micaela’s sister got i…

By: Ami Angelowicz / January 6, 2014

Dramatic Portraits Of Dogs Pooping

Everybody poops, including dogs. But when these dogs poop, they do it with a certain style, grace and dare we say, emotional intensity that sets their bowel movements apart. Presented without further commentary, Huffington Post brings you the Bold Italic’s “Dramatic Portraits of Dogs Pooping” by Brock Daves. See more portraits on Huffington Post…

By: Huffington Post Weird News / November 17, 2013

Poopie Poems Are A Literary Triumph

When digging through the bowels of the internet, you tend to find both shit and nuggets of gold. Sometimes, you find both. The shitnugget interweb discovery of the day (thank you, Amelia) is a website called Poopie Poems, featuring the largest collection of poop poetry on the web. You can browse through well-crafted Haipoops, Rhyming

By: Ami Angelowicz / October 17, 2013

Oh Crap! America (Finally) Gets Its First Poop-Themed Restaurant

Call me crazy/weird/gross/foul, but I am dying to go to The Magic Restroom Cafe, a poop-themed eatery in Los Angeles. Putting it on my next SoCal itinerary! [Huffington Post]
Um, Star magazine is trying to claim that Bruce Jenner wants to become a woman. I can’t. [Popbytes]
Teenage Disney Ninja Princesses? Teenage Disney…

By: Amelia McDonell-Parry / October 16, 2013

Little Boy Shares Adorable Inner Monologue While Pooping

Ugh! We we’ve all been there: eaten too much and didn’t know why. Found ourselves on the porcelain throne, regretting it. This little boy is learning the hard truth that when you eat too many  apples, poutine, cheesestring, pickle chips, peanut butter and raisins, chocolate thingies, more chocolate thingies and gummies, that your poo might…

By: Ami Angelowicz / October 10, 2013

Good News! The Yale “Poopetrator” Used Chocolate, Not Feces, On Clothing Line

The “poopetrator” who left human poop in the dorm laundry machines is still at large at Yale University. But fortunately the brown stuff that was smeared on clothing on Friday was just chocolate, not feces. Rumors are circulating that a “senior society” called the Pundits may have smeared chocolate on items hanging from a clothing…

By: Jessica Wakeman / October 8, 2013

There’s A Crazy Poop Bandit On The Loose At Yale

Poop bandits can strike anywhere, at any time — from the shared bathrooms of your office building, to campus of Yale. According to the The Yale Daily News, someone who goes by the moniker “Yale Poopetrator” has been going number one and number two in unattended dryers and, on Friday at 3:35 a.m., sent out…

By: Ami Angelowicz / October 4, 2013

The Secret To Acting Like Your S**t Don’t Stink

The secret to acting like your shit don’t stink is not wearing a ball gown speaking with a British accent while you poop. It’s Poo~Pourri, the spray that masks the scent of the “creamy behemoth you just birthed from your cavernous bowels.” (God, I’m jealous that I didn’t write that line.) The spritz is scientifically…

By: Ami Angelowicz / September 15, 2013

Don’t Get Caught Brown-Handed — Use Poop Mittens! (NSFW)

Shittens are disposable moist wipe mittens to protect your hands from getting errant doody on them while wiping yourself, a baby’s bum, or any other gross orifice you may come in contact with. “In general, Shittens are for fecal emergencies. But feel free to live like a Rockefeller and enjoy a Shitten every time you…

By: Jessica Wakeman / August 16, 2013

Jogger Caught On Video Pooping In Man’s Yard

One woman in New Mexico has a really bad habit of pooping in the same man’s yard on her morning runs. The man, who wishes to remain anonymous, has described the attacks as “malicious fecal distribution,” according to Daily Mail.

By: Mary Odell / July 21, 2013

We’re Breaking Up: Poopy Peeping Tom Who Hid Inside A Septic Tank

Dear Kenneth Webster Enlow,

Now, I do love a man who goes after what he wants. Initiative is hot! Motivation is sexy! The problem, though, is that  you wanted to be a peeping tom inside a septic tank in the women’s restroom at a public park.

By: Jessica Wakeman / July 9, 2013

Today In Poop: Feces Falls From The Sky Onto Family’s Backyard

Pictured above are the Giannakos family of Ontario. They shitstorm survivors. Literally. Last week, they were just sitting in their backyard enjoying some family playtime when the mother, Emma Gilfillan-Giannakos, heard what she described as a “loud splash” followed by tons of small, hard, brown pellets floating in her pool.

“I had no…

By: Ami Angelowicz / June 24, 2013

As I Always Feared, There’s Lots Of Poop In Public Swimming Pools

Each summer, around the time that it hits about 90 degrees and 90 percent humidity, I walk by the public pool at the park in my neighborhood and contemplate diving in. I ache for a cool dip. But then I see all the children in the pool and first thing I think is, You can’t go

By: Ami Angelowicz / May 17, 2013

FYI, If There’s Someone You Hate, You Can Send Them An Anonymous Package Of Poop

I feel that it’s my doodie to let you know about some of the crappy services that you might not have known existed on the internet. I hope you enjoyed all the puns in that sentence, because they were meant to foreshadow what I am about to share: you can purchase poop online.

By: Ami Angelowicz / May 7, 2013

Behold, A Glorious Inflatable Turd Sculpture

This artwork you see before you in a 51-foot-tall inflatable turd sculpture called “Complex Pile.” The inflatable turd sculptor is named Paul McCarthy, although I originally read his name as Paul McCartney and was freaking out for several moments about how and when Sir Paul McCartney diverged from music to inflatable poop sculptures. I was having…

By: Jessica Wakeman / April 30, 2013

Pooping At Work Is “The Last Office Taboo For Women,” Apparently

Everybody poops.

Deal with it, ladies.

And yes, I mean “ladies.” Because while there are many ways you are discriminated against in the office because of your gender — unequal pay, the glass ceiling, the boys’ club — but hiding your poop at work because you’re afraid what somebody will think…

By: Jessica Wakeman / April 29, 2013

Pooping In Space: Close Encounters Of The Turd Kind

A  500-page transcript from the 1969 Apollo 10 round-the-moon mission was recently released. Around page 400, the declassified log revealed that on day six, the mission’s three astronauts Tom Stafford, Gene Cernan and John Young were plagued by mysterious, floating poops. Here’s an excerpt of their close encounter of the turd kind below:
Stafford:

By: Ami Angelowicz / April 19, 2013

Exclusive! Poop Donors Needed For Important Poop Study

Searching for something to do with your old poop? Does flushing it down the toilet just seem sad? Perhaps you should consider a fecal transplant — give the gift of your poo to someone else. This sign was photographed at the University of Adelaide in Australia and sent to us by a reader. “Donors wanted:…

By: Jessica Wakeman / April 10, 2013