Tag Archives: polyamory

Ethan Hawke Is Not So Keen On Monogamy

My Open Marriage
How an open relationship works for one married couple. Read More »
Monogamy Is Unnatural
Even John DeVore admits monogamy is unnatural. Read More »
On Polyamory
There's no good reason why we shouldn't have multiple partners. Read More »

“My relationship with my present wife [his children's former nanny, Ryan Shawhughes] is thrilling to me and I’m committed to it. But neither she nor I know what shape the future will come in. Sexual fidelity can’t be the whole thing you hang your relationship on. If you really love somebody you want them to grow, but you don’t get to define how that happens. They do. People have such a childish view of monogamy and fidelity. ‘He’s cheated so he’s bad, she’s cheated so she’s bad,’ as opposed to a recognition that our species is not monogamous. To act all indignant, that your world has been rocked because your lover wasn’t faithful to you, is a little bit like acting rocked that your hair went grey. Human beings are sexual beings.”

Ethan Hawke is as well known for all those “Before Sunrise” movies as he is for being the guy who let Uma Thurman get away. But as he broadly hints at the magazine Mr. Porter, he didn’t want to be monogamous. That doesn’t make any cheating that may have occurred okay, of course, but I commend him, actually, for being this honest about monogamy and fidelity given how harshly our culture judges nontraditional relationships. (Actress Maria Bello has some similar thoughts, which she wrote about this weekend in the New York Times Modern Love column.) It sounds like 42-year-old Hawke has a more clear-eyed view of what kind of relationship he wants with his new wife. He’s kidding himself, though, if he thinks that being “indignant” about cheating is abnormal.  Non-monogamy isn’t about cheating at all. [Mr. Porter via US Weekly] [Image via Getty]

True Story: My Husband Is Bisexual

A Bisexual Woman Explains
6 Major Differences Between Gay And Straight Dating (According To A Bisexual Woman)
... 6 major differences between gay and straight dating. Read More »
On Gays & Attraction
women at the gym
Just because Shanelle is gay doesn't mean she's attracted to all women. Read More »
My Bisexual Marriage
Rachel Rabbit White on her bisexual marriage. Read More »
True Story: My Husband Is Bisexual

In private, my husband, Paul*, has started referring to his sexual orientation as “Results-Oriented.” As in, he doesn’t care what gender his sexual partners are if they can get the job done, so to speak. He’s being glib when he says that — no, he wouldn’t go to bed with just anyone — but there’s also some truth behind it. For a person who isn’t ready to socially, culturally, or politically identify as bisexual, Results-Oriented is his way of saying that he’s not quite as straight as most straight-identified men.

Paul started calling himself Results-Oriented around the time we had our first foursome with a straight-presenting, queer-identified couple. For the most part, we engaged in heterosexual and lesbian activities, but at one point, I let it slip that watching two men together has always been one of my top turn-ons. Our male partner looked up with excitement and climbed on top of Paul. Once he obtained consent, he gave Paul a long and thorough blowjob that finished in climax. I couldn’t decide whether to observe our partner’s clearly experienced technique or Paul’s facial expressions of utterly baffled pleasure. When it was over, all my husband could say was, “Wow … that wasn’t as different as I imagined it would be.” Keep reading »

Lisa Ling Explores Non-Monogamy In OWN’s “I Love You & You … & You”

Poly Parenting
Anderson Cooper demystifies polyamorous parenting. Read More »
On Polyamory
There's no good reason why we shouldn't have multiple partners. Read More »
Monogamy Is Unnatural
Even John DeVore admits monogamy is unnatural. Read More »
polyamory lisa ling
The More The Merrier!

I’m cautiously optimistic about the next episode of “Our America,” Lisa Ling’s docu-series on the OWN network, in which she discusses families/couplings who are non-monogamous. I’m pretty psyched anytime that the mainstream media acknowledges alternative sexualities at all, bonus points for when it acknowledges we are “normal.”  Polyamory or even just being monogam-ish are more common than you think. This preview teases Ling’s show as answering the question “How many is too many?”, which is presupposing something is wrong with non-monogamy and that it is possible for there to be “too many” partners in a polyamorous union.  Yet everyone who gets screen time in this preview seems happy with their personal decisions — and pretty “normal,” too. As American as apple pie, you might even say. “I Love You & You … & You” airs next week, Tuesday March 5 at 10/9c on OWN.  [Oprah.com]

The Soapbox: In Marriage Equality, Three Shouldn’t Be A Crowd

Poly Parenting
Anderson Cooper demystifies polyamorous parenting. Read More »
Poly Poster Girl
tilda swinton photo
Tilda Swinton is our polyamorous poster girl. Read More »
My First Time...
...being polyamorous. Read More »

When a public notary in Sao Paulo, Brazil, authorized a civil union between one man and two women, neither she nor the triad expected to make headlines. Now, three months after their three-way relationship was formalized, it has become an international news story with flashy headlines like “‘Big Love’ In Brazil.” The members of the triad have refused to speak to the press. But the notary, Claudia do Nascimento Domingues, has come forward in light of backlash to explain why she made the decision to authorize the three-way union (or “thruple”). As she told the UK’s Telegraph:

We are only recognizing what has always existed. We are not inventing anything … for better or worse, it doesn’t matter, but what we considered a family before isn’t necessarily what we would consider a family today. Keep reading »

Anderson Cooper Demystifies Polyamorous Parenting

My First Time...
...being polyamorous. Read More »
Poly Poster Girl
tilda swinton photo
Tilda Swinton is our polyamorous poster girl. Read More »
Poly Dealbreaker
Is polyamory a dating dealbreaker? Read More »
Watch Video

In case you were curious about how polyamorous relationships work in practice, especially when a child is involved, Anderson Cooper got up close and personal with a triad on his show. Okay, follow me here: Jaiya Ma and Jon Hanauer have been together since they met at Tantric Yoga teacher training 10 years ago. At some point, Jaiya brought another man into the relationship, but things ended with a bad breakup. Jaiya’s tendency was to “connect” post-breakup, while Jon’s was to “retreat.” So, instead of breaking up, Jon encouraged Jaiya to find someone else. Eventually, she met Ian Ferguson in dance class and they had an instant connection. Jaiya became pregnant with Ian’s baby. Now the three of them live together with two-year-old Eamon. Interestingly, Jon (not the biological father of Eamon) does a good portion of the child care. You can watch an additional clip of Anderson’s interview with them here. Do I smell a sitcom here? Keep reading »

Girl Talk: In Praise Of Monogamy

monogamy

Recently my husband and I went on a double date. We met my friend Kate and her husband Bear, at a German Beer Hall. I hadn’t met Bear, and I always find meeting a friend’s partner interesting. Kate seemed to come to life in Bear’s presence. He is upbeat but sensible, she is witty and wildly imaginative. She is small and brunette, he is big and blond. They are a physical yin and yang. And even though there was plenty of room on the bench, they sat close, Kate in the nook of his arm. Keep reading »

“Goddess” Rachel Oberlin Defends Charlie Sheen’s Polyamory

“I’ve always felt that a man should be able to be with as many women as he likes. I’ve never had the opportunity to share that with any man before because, honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been with a man who was even deserving of that. Charlie is a great man and he can provide the lifestyle to accommodate a relationship such as what the three of us have. He has totally taken me aback by what a wonderful person he is, how open and honest he is.”

Rachel Oberlin/the porn star “Bree Olsen,” 24, one of Charlie Sheen‘s “goddesses,” i.e. live-in girlfriends, defends their polyamorous lifestyle. His other girlfriend is Natalie Kenly, 24, also called “Natty.” Frankly, I don’t see why everyone is making such a big to-do about Charlie shacking up with two babes. Hasn’t Hugh Hefner being doing that for … decades? (Someone get this man a bathrobe!) I wonder how Rachel thinks a man who’s been arrested for domestic violence as recently as last year is “deserving” of this accommodation, though. [Oh No They Didn't!] Keep reading »

What Does It Mean For A Relationship To “Work”?

My Tuesday evening ritual consists of the following: an hour and a half of yoga and meditation, followed by a hot bubble bath, in which I either drink a glass of wine or eat a Haagen-Daz Coffee Crunch ice cream bar, while wearing a mud mask and lisening to Dan Savage‘s Savage Love podcast. I highly recommend this entire evening routine. It makes the following day, Hump Day, that much easier. Keep reading »

Valentine’s Day Must Be Hell For The Polyamorous

It’s hard enough scrambling to find Valentine’s Day gifts (especially if you’re a cheap and lazy lover), booking reservations for a prix fixe dinner, and trying to make the night as special at St. Hallmark has deemed it to be. But imagine if you had to do that with multiple people. I will complain no more, the polyamorous have it much worse on Valentine’s Day. I actually felt bad for some of the polyamorous couples featured in an article entitled “How to Handle Valentine’s Day When You’re Polyamorous.” Keep reading »

The Official Map Of Non-Monogamy

Click here for the full image.
This map of non-monogamy makes me understand why so many people subscribe to monogamy … it’s way less complicated. I am going to go study for my non-monogamy pop quiz now. Dan Savage would be proud of me. [Tacit] Keep reading »

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