Watch out Tom Cruise. The Australian government might try to declassify Scientology as a religion and reclassify it as a criminal organization. In a speech he gave to the Aussie Senate on Tuesday night, Senator Nick Xenophon claimed that the church was guilty of torture, forced imprisonment, and coerced abortion, embezzlement and blackmail. He unearthed letters from an ex-Scientologist, which detailed abuse and violence that happened within the religion, and said that horrors such as forced confinement, torture and abortion, were ordered. 

As the Senate attempts to suck the fat out of the 2,000-plus-page health care reform bill, there is one provision that donkeys are fighting to keep intact. Democrats have proposed a way to nip and tuck a few Benjamins to help pay for the health care reform plan. I’ll give you a hint—it doesn’t have to do with abortions, mammograms, or pap smears—or any procedures women actually need. They plan to raise $5 billion over the next 10 years by taxing 5 percent on all cosmetic surgery procedures. Want a tummy tuck, silicon bubbies, or some warm botulism injected into your face? Under this provision, you’ll have to pay a tax. Reconstructive surgeries due to cancer or injury would not be subject to the tax. Naturally the American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery is against this “Botax.” So what do you think? Is the “Botax” a good idea? [NY Daily News]

So we all know that gay marriage was banned in Texas in 2005, but did you know that some unfortunate wording in the amendment might have accidentally banned all marriages? Democrat and attorney general candidate Barbara Ann Radnofsky is making a ruckus about the colossal mistake she believes lawmakers made in drafting the amendment. The first part is pretty clear stating: “Marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman.” But the phrase in question in Subsection B of the legislation states:

“This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.”

Uh-oh. Does that mean all marriages in the state of Texas are not legit? Now that would be interesting—bye, bye George W and Laura. Critics accuse Radnofsky of trying to stir up controversy about the banning of gay marriage. As if that’s a bad thing? They stand by the amendment and think the linguistic loophole is not likely to hold up in the event of any forthcoming lawsuits. But still … what would happen if all straight marriages in the Lone Star state were unrecognized? Might it create some empathy for the gay marriage cause? Why … it just might, dangit. [Gawker]

Oh, for crying out loud. Hillary Clinton is the Secretary of State, a big and important job in which the president actually listens to what she has to say. So why, then, is the entire first paragraph of a recent Vogue article about Clinton dedicated to the color of her pantsuit at the U.N. General Assembly meeting recently (red, in case you were wondering)?

In the next paragraph, we learn that one day at the State Department Clinton was “wearing no makeup” and looked “tired and cranky.” Fret not, though, because her deputy chief of staff handed her a cosmetics bag and Clinton applied her own mascara, lipstick, blush and powder.

Really, Vogue? I don’t care that Clinton does her own makeup and (still) wears brightly colored pantsuits.

Sarah Palin was on “Oprah” today and it was kind of hard to watch without yelling at the television screen. So rather than sound like ranting crazy people, here are the things we really wanted to say to Sarah while we watched her on Big O’s couch.

Michelle Fenty sounds a lot like Washington, D.C.‘s other first lady on paper. She’s an accomplished attorney, married to an influential politician, and is an involved mother. She met her husband, D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty, when she served as his mentor. And she’s also been noted for her stylish wardrobe. But this isn’t the life this dynamic woman always envisioned for herself.

Genealogists have been busy reconstructing the First Lady’s family tree and what they’ve discovered is shocking—but really only to Debbie Shields, who is apparently Michelle Obama’s cousin. And yes, she’s white as can be. But are we really surprised by this? As most of us know, there were many African and American couplings (both consensual and non-consensual) that took place during the times of slavery—and Michelle’s great, great grandmother Melvinia was no exception. As it turns out, Melvinia was impregnated at age 15 by plantation owner Charles Marion Shields who is also Debbie’s great, great grandfather. In case you got lost there in the twisted branches, that makes the two fourth cousins. While Debbie and her 17-year old son Brandon think it’s “awesome” to be related to the first lady, they couldn’t believe it at first. Believe it, folks! So what do you think? Awkward family reunion or positive step forward for race relations in this country? [Newser]

Wow, I know politicians fight dirty, but resorting to woman-on-woman sexism in campaign ads is pretty low. Carly Fiorina, the former CEO of Hewlett-Packard, is challenging current Senator Barbara Boxer for her Congressional seat. Fine and dandy, right? It’s actually pretty cool that one woman is challenging another woman for her seat.

But Fiorina’s campaign just sent out the most ridiculous that-lady-needs-to-be-put-in-her-place email I’ve ever read. To quote from the message (which I received through marketing emails from The Washington Times, a conservative-leaning newspaper in D.C.):

Barbara Boxer ... disrespectfully demanded a Brigadier General refer to her as “Senator” instead of “ma’am” during a recent Senate hearing. I’m sure you’ll agree that Boxer’s arrogance and disrespect for our nation’s military leaders is way out of line.

A health care reform passed in the House of Representatives on Saturday night, but only after politicians included an anti-abortion amendment to the bill so it could gain more support. Called the Stupack Amendment, named for Sen. Bart Stupack (D-MI), it prohibits the use of federal subsidies for private insurance plans that cover abortion. In other words, if private insurance companies want to take money from individuals who are using federal dollars to pay for their health insurance, they cannot offer abortion coverage in their plans. Critics of the amendment say it’s a move by pro-lifers to encourage private health insurance companies to drop abortion coverage entirely. [The New York Times]

Dear ABC,
Your decision to air Barbara Walters’ five-part interview with Sarah Palin on Nov. 17 is one of the worst decisions in the history of mankind. Seriously, isn’t showing segments of the interview on “Good Morning America,” ” World News with Charles Gibson,” “Nightline” and “20/20” overdoing it just a little? First, you are shamelessly helping Palin promote her book, Going Rogue: An American Life, by airing the interview the same day it hits bookstore shelves. Second, didn’t you get the memo that Oprah is interviewing her on the 16th? And uh, did you not notice that Sarah can barely formulate an articulate sentence—the result of her stretching her limited mental capacity over hours could be completely disastrous. After numerous embarrassing interviews with big shots like Katie Couric and Brain Williams, it’s clear that Palin is a masochist for coming back for more. Plus, she is neither relevant nor interesting—she isn’t even a governor anymore. She is famous for being a joke. So why give her the publicity!? You don’t know? That’s because there’s no reason! We suggest you reconsider. Please.
Sincerely,
Nikki
[EW]

Oh, my throbbing ovaries! President Obama played peek-a-boo with pint-sized Maeve Beliveau, the daughter of a staffer. So much cuter than him playing chicken with Iran, isn’t it? [White House Flickr]

Anna Wintour had a very special birthday yesterday. Not only did the Vogue editor turn 60 years old but President Obama hired her for a job! Don’t worry, Anna’s not leaving her masthead position any time soon, but she does have a new title to add to her resume. She’ll join fellow fashionista Sarah Jessica Parker on the President’s Committee for the Arts and Humanities. The job task ahead of her is all about giving Obama advice on how to bring the arts into society. We think she can handle that one. She’s already made a huge statement with Fashion’s Night Out, which was so popular that a sequel date set has been set. We certainly look forward to Anna’s projects as a part of the government, because if FNO was any indication, there could be a fashion national holiday in our future. Hey, getting a day off work to go shopping doesn’t sound so bad. [WWD]

Boo! Maine, you FAIL. In yesterday’s election, Maine voters repealed a gay marriage law which would have made it the sixth state in America where gays have the right to marry just like straight couples. Instead, Maine has the dubious distinction of being the 31st state to make gay marriage verboten. It’s a total bummer that this kind of bigotry came from the people up; the gay marriage law had actually passed through the state legislature and was signed by the governor six months ago. The trouble was that gay rights opposition groups were hot on the politicians’ tails and immediately mobilized voters to repeal the law. Sorry, my dears, but at least you can still get married in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire and Iowa, right? [ABC News]

• Did Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger mean to send a hidden message in a letter telling California legislators to f**k off? [F-Listed]—I doubt he’s that bright or clever.
• Sure, Halloween is for the kiddies. But it’s also a perfect excuse for adults to do a little role-playing, if ya know what we mean. Em & Lo explain how ... [Em & Lo]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are apparently back on again because they went on the Los Angeles Haunted Hayride together. [E! Online]—Sadly, they weren’t snatched up by a netherworld ghastly ghoul, never to be heard from again.

If you’re anything like me, you’re jealous of Michelle Obama. Those clothes. Those cutie-pie kids. That husband. That Glamour cover. And that address! But in an eye-opening New York Times Magazine cover story on the Obama marriage, Michelle is candid about their relationship’s ups and (surprising number of) downs. All political marriages are, by definition, unconventional. But to hear Michelle tell it, she has often felt like a single mother with Barack traveling all the time as a Senator.

“This was sort of the eye-opener to me, that marriage is hard. But going into it, no one ever tells you that. They just tell you, ‘Do you love him? What’s the dress look like?’ It’s unfair to the institution of marriage, and it’s unfair for young people who are trying to build something, to project this perfection that doesn’t exist.”

How cute is Michelle Obama? She hobnobs with the Queen and the Pope, but via satellite on “The Jay Leno Show” this past Friday night, she owned up to being nervous appearing on live TV. (We think she did fine!) The First Lady plugged a support-the-troops PSA she filmed with Jill Biden and stuck around to impress the nation with her expert “Brady Bunch” knowledge. After the jump, Michelle dishes about first puppy Bo‘s fancy-pants first birthday party

Are you looking to hire a 40-something woman with managerial experience and a great head of hair for your company? Someone who can wink on command? Well, you are in luck, because Sarah Palin has posted her resume on LinkedIn. On it, she lists her stints as governor of Alaska, vice presidential nominee, and chairperson of the oil and gas conservation commission. Her specialties? “Attacking ‘business as usual,’ Oil Companies, Good Old Boy Networks, Government waste, Earmarks, and Pork Barrels. Strong experience within the Executive Branch of Government.” (She forgot capitalizing Random words! And reading Playgirl!) She’s interested in “job inquiries, business deals, and getting back in touch.” And she’s been recommended by five whole people. How can you not hire her? [CNN]

Well, at least according to this imaginative artistic rendering created by illustrator Drew Friedman. But, really, why not? We here at The Frisky are waiting with bated breath for Sarah Palin‘s grandbaby-daddy Levi Johnston to take it all off for Playgirl. Why wouldn’t his mother-in-law-never-to-be be a little curious about what the young buck looks like in the buff? Of course, who knows how much he’ll actually show in the magazine spread. If he pulls a Burt Reynolds, his package may remain a mystery to us and the vice president who wasn’t. [The Daily What]

I almost felt like I was cruising an online dating site the first time I scrolled through the photos of all the powerful foxes on the new blog Hottest Heads of State. As the name implies, it features 172 of the best-looking men and women ruling the world. Power and good looks are a deadly combination; it was like setting my profile filter to: “I am a woman looking for men, hot, powerful, and international.” So skipping Barack Obama (#15!), check out the top five heads of state I wouldn’t mind dating.

California’s Kindergarten Cop has pumped up a decade-old law for fining paparazzi who illegally take photos or recordings. Now, in addition to the photographer, celebrities will be allowed to sue the outlets who buy and use the offensively obtained material. That might not strike most of us as an extreme measure, but lawsuits are daunting. They’re already a major expense for media outlets whose bread and butter is broadcasting private moments celebrities try to indulge in.