Oh darling Matthew Falkner of Palm City, Florida (always, always Florida), you and I are soulmates. After all, you were arrested in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, after employees there noticed you were idling your car in the lot and pressing heavily on the accelerator, with smoke coming out of the engine. Police asked for your identification, and instead you reached in your bag and pulled out a taco. I really love tacos, so I’d actually welcome a taco or five from you, my friend. Oh sure, your blood alcohol level was .22 when you were arrested — three times over the legal limit — but that just means you’d benefit from someone to share your happy hour margaritas with, right?
Apparently your car was on fire at the time of the incident, too. Perhaps you were looking to reheat your Burrito Supreme? [Foodbeast]
The year was 1960. A purse snatcher had murdered an elderly woman and was still on the loose in LA. To catch the killer, the LAPD robbery squad donned skirts and scarves and fanned out across the city, posing as little (or not so little?) old ladies. I can only imagine what happened to anyone who tried to steal a purse from one of these guys. [LAPD Facebook]
Behold, woman’s new best friend. Rapports Opus is a police dog in Sweden who has been training for over a year to help police nab rapists by sniffing out sperm. This pup has just closed his first case. Last month, a woman was forced to perform oral sex on a man in a Swedish park. To help police collect evidence, Rapports Opus was brought in to find any trace amounts of semen left at the scene of the crime. Rapports Opus led investigators right to a sample that—bingo—matched the DNA of their prime suspect, a 23-year-old man. Investigators expect the court case to be open and shut. Nice work, Rapports Opus. Anyone else hoping he inspires a sequel to “K-9″? [Newser, The Local] Keep reading »
Snooki rear-ended a cop car in Florence, Italy, this weekend, sending two police officers to the hospital with whiplash. Snooki, her pal Deena, and a “Jersey Shore” film crew member were being escorted by the cop car, which pinned Snooki’s car against a highway wall after the crash. This surely won’t do any good to improve Jersey-Italy relations, which have been wilting like a bouffant with too much hair gel ever since the “Jersey Shore” cast announced they’d be filming a season in their homeland. Miraculously, though, no limoncello shots (or any other alcohol) were involved in this fender bender! Despite all those trips up and down the NJ Turnpike, Snooki’s just a plain ol’ bad driver. [NY Post] Keep reading »
Feminist Germaine Greer has an unorthodox suggestion for how to deal with men who rape: Women should put their names online in a rapists’ registry. Speaking at a literary festival yesterday, Greer — who became famous 40 years ago when she published the seminal “second wave” feminist text The Female Eunuch — criticized the paltry number of men who go to prison for sexual assault. “I wish there were an online rapists’ register and that it was kept up to date,” Greer said. “Because we know the courts can’t get it right.” Keep reading »
It’s the “Real World” episode we’ve all been waiting for: somebody’s toothbrush is scrubbing the toilet.
If you haven’t been watching, a little background: Preston is the mellow black guy questioning his sexuality, Ryan is the uber-aggressive homophobic white guy who called Preston a “f****t.” (Ryan, by the way, is a hairdresser. Just sayin’.) These idiots are, like, 18 years old so they are handling their differences maturely. Ryan took Preston’s smokes, dropped trou, and rubbed the ciggies in his buttcrack. Meanwhile, Preston scrubbed the toilet with Ryan’s toothbrush … and peed on it. Keep reading »
If you don’t watch Telemundo, you might not know the name Maria Celeste Arraras. She appears on “Al Rojo Vivo” on Telemundo and on the “Today” show and she is called the “Katie Couric of Spanish television.” Earlier this week in Today’s Lady News, I reported that on May 28 in Miami, Arraras was allegedly the victim of domestic violence at the hands of her boyfriend. According to The New York Daily News (in an article tastelessly titled “Latina TV Host Maria Celeste Stars In Own Abuse Saga”), a police report of the incident said the boyfriend, Raul Quintana, hit Arraras several times, pulled her by her hair and threw her on the floor.
That alleged assault would be horrifying enough for most women. But the blog Tiger Beatdown has posted a transcript of Arraras’ 911 call to report the alleged incident and the operator’s dismissive treatment of a panicky Arraras is straight-up galling. Like, Amelia actually gasped when she read it. Keep reading »