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Tag Archives: platonic friendship
There’s the age old question, “Can men and women just be friends?” But there’s a second question that’s practically as ancient: “Should you just be friends or take it to the next level?” The upcoming film “One Day,” starring Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess, explores that very notion by introducing audiences to Emma and Dexter, a pair of Brits that spend the night together their last night of college, and then decide to just be friends. The film — check out the trailer here — then shows them each year on the same date to see where they are in their lives. Sometimes they’re together, sometimes they not, but you’ll have to watch the movie to see whether they end up together in the end. Keep reading »
There’s this (amazing) song on the soundtrack to the (terrible) movie “The Romantics” called “We Can’t Be Friends” by Lenore Scafaria. My favorite lyrics go:
“I want to wear a skirt, I want to make mistakes,
I want to kill you first and then take your name,
I want to tear you apart, I want to make your bed,
I wanna break your heart, I want to break your head,
I guess this means we can’t be friends.”
In the days, weeks and months following a big breakup, I listened to this song on repeat. Every word of it spoke to me (especially the part about breaking his head). We’d said to each other on our first date, moony-eyed, that even if this didn’t grow into anything, we should still be friends.
Two years later, it couldn’t be more obvious that we could not be friends. My friends don’t sneak around behind my back. My friends don’t email me lists of the things they don’t like about me. My friends don’t threaten to throw out my stuff. There’s a hell of a lot of things my ex-boyfriend did that I wouldn’t stand for if one of my girl or guy friends were to do them. Why should I make concessions for acting like a d**k just because we had been in a romantic relationship together? What would that prove?
This cropped up again recently when a guy I’d been going on dates with for about a month ended it with me. Hormones, as I’ll call him, said he didn’t have strong enough romantic feelings or see long-term potential for us. Yadda yadda yadda. That is fine. I understand. I appreciate that he was honest about it. But then Hormones told me that he hoped we could be friends. Keep reading »
There are few more famous snippets of film dialogue than this exchange from the 1989 Blly Crystal and Meg Ryan classic, “When Harry Met Sally”:
Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I’m saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
After we watched Kate Winslet gush about her 15 year love for Leonardo DiCaprio at Sunday night’s Golden Globe Awards — in front of her husband, Sam Mendes, not to mention millions of viewers — we kind of got to wondering if men and women can really maintain tight friendships, if one or both of them is in a relationship. Personally, I’ve never been the jealous type and have never cared if my S.O. had close girlfriends — but then again, if I was ever given cause for worry (like they had hooked up before, or she was especially flirty) maybe my green-eyed monster would come out. And ever since the guys on my IM basically confirmed that men want to screw all their female friends on some level, I’ve wondered whether platonic friendships between men and women are even really possible, especially if there are boyfriends or girlfriends involved. So I went back to the fountains of boy wisdom to find out… Keep reading »