Breaking news: getting plastic surgery off the “black market” is a bad idea! Six Dominican woman from the Newark, New Jersey area have been hospitalized with infections from “black market” butt implants by a fake “plastic surgeon.” Health officials say Dr. Shady injected the women’s derrieres with “a variety of unknown materials,” possibly including silicone, petroleum jelly and hardware-grade caulk. Ewwww. In a second obvious sign of sketchiness, all of the “implant” procedures apparently took place inside hotels. Yes, hotels. Congratulations, New Jersey. You have managed to top the Staten Island, New York plastic surgeon who, in 2003, accidentally gave a woman four breast implants instead of two.
Ladies, I have a better plan to get a Kim Kardashian booty without butt implants: drink one Starbucks mocha Frappucino morning, noon and night, and eat a box of Girl Scout cookies for a snack every afternoon. Works like a charm in no time! [Fox News] Keep reading »
As if ruptured implants and leaky silicone weren’t scary enough, a woman in Staten Island, New York, is suing the plastic surgeon of her 2003 boob job, claiming she was given four breasts, instead of two, in a botched breast implant procedure. According to a lawsuit filed on Tuesday, Maria Alaimo paid $7,000 cash for a pair of 36-C cups, but Dr. Keith Berman accidentally implanted a “double-bubble” of boobies. Alaimo is asking for $5 million to compensate for the pain she’s suffered from her freaky mammaries — which poor jurors at the Staten Island Supreme Court had to look at in pictures. (How about that for doing your civic duty!) According to the New York Daily News, post-op photos depict Alaimo’s quad-breasts as “flattened on the bottom with severe swells the size of a softball on top. (Imagine what this would look like on Pamela Anderson, left, thanks to the magic of Photoshop.)
Yuck. All the more reason to keep our jiggly bits natural, right, ladies? [New York Daily News] Keep reading »
Vanity is something that plagues women—all of us have fallen prey to the aesthetic monster at some point. When I first saw pop tart Heidi Montag unveil her shiny new body and face after getting 10 cosmetic procedures in one day, I thought, “WTF? She didn’t need any work done—she was 23 and beautiful.” But then again, someone probably would have said the same thing about me.
I’ll admit it—I recently had one-tenth of Heidi’s plastic surgery. Strike that—I prefer to call it “non-plastic surgery.” As a 26-year-old single black female, I had finally gotten fed up with my top parts, which had started to resemble two droopy, sad party balloons. I wish I could say I had the pleasure of once having amazing boobs, but, annoyingly, they have always been more National Geographic-style. And so, I volunteered to be the guinea pig for a brand-new non-invasive breast lift. Keep reading »
It’s safe to say that we all saw this coming. We wondered why Heidi Montag chose to do her muddy Playboy spread before getting a marathon 10 plastic surgery procedures done in a single day. Now we know the answer—so she can do a second photo shoot with the new face and bod. She says that she plans to do one “soon, very soon,” and adds, “I cannot wait to show off my new assets. I’m very excited.” And this time, she’ll apparently be taking it all off for the mag. Run. Now. [NY Daily News]
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Ever wish there was a shot to cure sadness? Ever guess that shot was Botox? A new study suggests that freezing the muscles that create frowns (like the infamous jolt of Botulism) can actually stop the sad emotions that accompany the expression. A study of 40 people showed that Botox-injected plastic surgery patients took longer to process sad and unhappy situations than people without frozen foreheads, but could still process happy emotions just as quickly. Weird, huh? [Newsweek] Keep reading »
Perhaps you’ve heard of the boob lift, a surgical procedure that hoists up your sagging breasts. Now there’s the internal bra, which also does this, but goes one step further by putting a reinforcing structure in place, so that you don’t actually have to wear a bra. Ever. The product used is called Breform—a firm mesh cup that’s implanted under a layer of breast skin, effectively providing a support to lift and hold them. While this kind of sounds like a miracle procedure, some of the details are not so pleasant. A plastic surgeon who performs the technique explains, “Over time, the mesh gets incorporated into the breast as the body produces a fibrous tissue that holds the structure in place — like a permanent bra under the skin.”
The procedure is relatively new, but so far, none of the 600 women to participate have had any complications. What do you think? Something you’d be interested in after some more time and research has passed? [NY Daily News] Keep reading »
“I was nervous, but also excited … I never thought in my wildest dreams [my mother] was going to react the way she did. She was looking at me almost like a zoo animal. It wasn’t like I was her daughter anymore. She was looking at me like I was a circus freak. I think she was most upset that Spencer was there for me and she wasn’t. She was saying how sad it is that my confidence is gone because of the music industry I’m trying to get into.”
– Heidi Montag seems rather delusional about her mom’s disturbed reaction to her new face, in an interview with People.com. And of course, the whole exchange was captured for “The Hills” fans. Keep reading »
When you hear the word “hero,” what comes to mind? A firefighter? A police officer? A soldier? Well, if you ask Dr. Frank Ryan, the plastic surgeon who made Heidi Montag into a cartoon character by performing 10 procedures on her in one day, Heidi fits the definition. “I think Heidi is brave. She is a hero for talking about this, quite frankly,” he said. Holy delusional, Batman! Also, is it just me or did he give Heidi his face?
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Lordy, Lordy, I hope this news story is as fake as it sounds: a 21-year-old Chinese woman identified only as Xiaoqing allegedly told the Shanghai Daily newspaper she is so desperate to win back her ex-boyfriend that she’s getting plastic surgery to look like Jessica Alba. “I want to do something to challenge myself and build a strong personality through it,” the woman allegedly said. Well, considering Jessica Alba does not look even remotely Asian, Xiaoqing’s got her (sad, sad) work cut out for her!
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