George Clooney: Sexiest man alive and itinerant ball ironer. Yes, that’s right, George Clooney (pictured joyfully showing off his scrotal superiority) has sparked a new trend in testicle management, telling the Italian magazine Max that he’d had his balls “ironed out.” This isn’t the first time he’s mentioned de-wrinkling his testicles — he made a similar joke to Esquire magazine in 2008. And while we’re pretty sure Clooney was a zillion percent joking, ball-ironing has now become an actual thing at many spas around the country. (*Bangs head against desk*) Keep reading »
“I did it with my best girlfriend, so she and I go and we get our lips done. Fine. I have it like that for my whole career, right? So then cut to a couple of years ago, I have a doctor remove as much as they possibly can because it got to the point where they were yucky. You know, they get hard. It’s gross. They are now whatever that was after they took out as much of the silicone as they could.”
— Lisa Rinna is the self-proclaimed “pioneer” of lip injections, and you know what? I kind of think she’s right: she’s the first celebrity (I use that term loosely) who I remember seeing on TV and wondering, Is that lady half-tilapia? Nowadays, I don’t even know what Lisa Rinna does for a living. I just think of her as a creepy, bloated pair of disembodied lips, and also a walking billboard for an anti-injectables PSA. This quote from Lisa’s “Today” appearance yesterday makes me increasingly nauseous the more I try to visualize it (should I stop?), and frankly, I’m disappointed that she isn’t actually half-tilapia. What a letdown. [Huffington Post]
It’s always uncomfortable to receive a gift you don’t want. You remember your childhood birthday parties. Just smile and say thanks for the Barbie you already have! Boise man, Andy Thompson, found himself in an extremely awkward position when he won a $3,000 voucher for breast augmentation surgery. For Mardi Gras, a local bar was giving the boob job away as a Fat Tuesday door prize, and Thompson was the lucky winner. When asked what he plans to do with his new pair of boobs, the 37-year-old joked “I was thinking about going with a C cup, but I think a small A is good for me.” But seriously, Thompson doesn’t know “what the plan is” for his unwanted prize since there are “so many good options.” Keep reading »
Oh, heeyyy. What’s that? TLC has a new amazing show coming down the pipelines? Oh, yes they do. The channel whose womb I want to crawl into, is bringing us “Plastic Wives,” a series about the wives of some of the most high profile surgeons in Beverly Hills.
“Underneath all that plastic are the wrinkles the cracks, the insecurities. We all try to cover it up, but we’re the Plastic Wives,” says cast member Dayna. She also refers to her vagina as “two soy hot dogs with a bad carpet.” I will be using that one in the future. Why soy? I can’t take the time to ponder that because really, Dayna’s soy dogs are nothing compared to Alana’s. She keeps hers in a small plastic jar. “This is my labia, I think she looks better in a jar than hanging down there,” she says.
Done and done. I’ll be watching the premiere on January 27th. The full preview after the jump. [TLC] Keep reading »
Liliana Coello, from Queens, NY, is another fake doctor accused of administering hazardous butt injections. Coello, 39, allegedly charged her victim a discounted rate for a series of procedures that resulted in an infection that will “pose a life-long issue.”
Prosecutors report that Coello injected a victim’s butt with a clear, gel-like substance, found to be consistent with silicone and/or paraffin. The victim complained of redness, pain, swelling and “leakage.” When she returned to Coello to help fix the problem, her solution was to apply Krazy glue to the leaky spots. (WHAT!?) Obviously, this didn’t work and the victim had to go to the hospital. Keep reading »