Just kidding, this is not actually awesome news, unless you are actually the type of person who would want markedly bigger boobs for just 24 hours. According to the New York Times, women are asking for saline injections in their boobs, increasing their busts by as much as two cup sizes — but the results only last 24 hours. I’m tempted to mock this plastic surgery trend — which sounds really bizarre and questionable to me — because I can’t imagine spending that much money on something with such a short lifespan. HOWEVER! While I would never do or pay for such a thing seriously, I would be interested in road-testing the practical joke opportunities this presents. Perhaps my girls could get an injection just before a hot overnight date — imagine the look on some poor confused schmuck’s face as he realizes the D-cup breasts he motorboated at night somehow magically shrunk to a regular ol’ B-cup in the morning light. Talk about a cool party trick. If any practicing plastic surgeon wants to offer me a one-time freebie, shoot me an email! [NYMag.com]
There’s a new Ken in town.
Brazilian model Celso Santebanes, 20, can now compete with the likes of “Human Ken Doll” Justin Jedlica over who pulls off the creepiest, most plastic-looking version of a real-life Ken doll.
Santebanes told The Mirror that he has spent more than $50,000 to perfect his look, undergoing four surgeries on his nose, chest, chin, and jaw. He got the work done so that he might look more like Barbie’s perfectly manicured boyfriend (or husband, or ex-boyfriend – their relationship status changes a lot). Read more on Huffinton Post…
1. I’m 15 and for the first time in my life, a teacher calls me out on sleeping in class when I’ve been awake the whole time. I’m surprised it hasn’t happened earlier, because kids have made fun of my eyes since preschool. Times are a-changing I guess. I’m the only Asian in my class, one of three in my entire high school, and people bring it up all the time for the rest of the year. I get it. It’s funny, that time our old, kinda-racist teacher thought I was sleeping because my eyes are small. My eyes aren’t even that small!
2. I’m 12 and my mom is teaching me how to smile so that my eyes don’t disappear. No one likes a squint. I’m 0 percent invested, so I don’t learn. I do know that the word for squint in Mandarin is mī, and it forms your mouth in a squint when you pronounce it, like a lyrical “me,” lips tight for the ‘m’ and barely parted for the ‘ī’. I don’t read much into that. It’s just a happy coincidence, like how “groovy” ends on a smile.
3. I’m 20 and sometimes my friend points out that my eyes disappear when I smile really hard. I think — I know — I think she doesn’t mean it in a shitty way (“I always forget that you’re Asian,” she’s also said), but every time I hear it, it burns red hot in my brain for the rest of the day. I’ve learned enough to know that when I was 15 and people said, “It’s funny because your eyes aren’t even that small,” they were also saying, “You don’t look that Asian.” I suspect this is the same kind of thing. Then I suspect that I’m doing a lot of introspection for a hang sesh with my friends. Keep reading »
Hey girl, are sure you’re ready for your boyfriend to propose? More specifically, is your hand ready for him to a put a big ol’ expensive rock on it? According to ELLE, hand lifts — yes, face lifts for your handddddsssssss – are becoming increasingly popular with brides-to-be concerned that unsightly loose skin and wrinkles are distracting from their pretty baubles. Seriously, guys? I can’t.
Once upon a time, I got engaged and I suddenly had a big ol’ rock on my finger. I will admit that wearing such a beautiful piece of jewelry every day — a ring that didn’t turn my finger green and wasn’t purchased at Urban Outfitters or Forever 21 — did make me feel inclined to get more regular manicures. It just looked better with nicely shaped and freshly painted talons instead of chipped polish, straggly cuticles and dirt under my nails. But upping the frequency of my nail salons visits was a personal choice, not a requirement, and really ultimately silly and totally unnecessary. But a HAND LIFT?! Come. On. Keep reading »
How far are women willing to go for fashion? According to The New York Times, pretty far. The newspaper walks a mile in the shoes of a handful of LA- and NYC-based podiatrists who perform procedures specifically designed to help women fit comfortably into designer heels. What types of surgery are women undergoing for the sake of their Manolo Blahniks? Read more on Newser…
Plastic surgery has grown so extreme, it’s made even routine things like travel difficult. Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong, in my humble estimation, with getting a little nip or a tuck as the years go by. I haven’t had any plastic surgery, but should I have the money and think it might make me feel better about myself, then I think that should be my prerogative. But there’s a line that just shouldn’t be crossed. Read more on The Stir…