…and yet looks nothing like Kim Kardashian and a whole lot like a swollen, blistered sphincter with Joan Crawford’s eyebrows (the later, William Castle films era of her career, to be specific). But that seems to be okay with Jordan James Parke, who told The Sun, “I laugh when people try to insult me by telling me I look plastic or fake. Do they think I’m going for the natural look? If I was, I’d ask for my money back.” Well, at least he’s owning it and I do think he has very beautiful eyes. (I felt like I needed to pay him a compliment after saying his face looks like a butthole with brows.) Parke has had over 50 cosmetic procedures in his quest to look like his idol, who he calls “the most gorgeous woman ever,” including eyebrow tattoos (you DON’T SAYYYYY), dental work, Botox, laser hair removal and, in case you couldn’t tell, fillers. Lots and lots and lots of fillers. I’m surprised there is not a fillers shortage, to be honest. His lips look like they are going to explode and lip meat is going to come oozing out. Eww, I just said lip meat. I apologize. Read more about Parke and his asshole-like lips at the link. [The Sun]
Judging by the amount of venom I’ve seen being spewed at RZ in the past 24 hours, you would think that her face was the cause of death for 1,000 children. I think I also heard about 1,000 iterations of “SHE RUINED HER FAAAAAAACE.” And this is without even paying attention to much besides social media, where the subject of Renee’s face is literally a trending topic (note, address my social media addiction). Not that it matters, but I like her face a lot before and after. I honestly think her face is just fine, but it is quite clear that the entire world is extremely angry about a small adjustment to a couple of eyelids. Keep reading »
OK fine, whatever, so Jasmine Tridevil’s third boob is kind of improbable. Maybe it’s prosthetic. I’m just going to believe in tri-boob like I used to believe in Santa Claus.
Those kindly buzzkills at The Daily Dot decided to debunk the tri-boob by, you know, talking to plastic surgeons about it. I accept that the plastic surgeon they talked to says that if she were to be able to find a surgeon to do it, the middle boob wouldn’t end up looking like it does in her pictures. Keep reading »
All four of the women in my immediate family have had plastic surgery. One of us had a breast augmentation, one of us had a breast reduction. Two of us had our eyelids lifted. One of us had body contouring done, one of us had a necklift, one of us had surgery under her eyes, and one of us had fat injected into her hands. One of us gets Botox injections, and one of us has had tattoos removed. Hell, one of us worked in a plastic surgeon’s office for a decade.
So imagine my dismay whenever my boyfriend tells me that Nicki Minaj’s ass is weird or doesn’t look right because it’s “fake,” or that breast implants are gross. It’s not a big enough deal for me to get in a fight about it, but it rankles a little whenever men tell me — I can’t think of very many women I know who have never considered the possibility of plastic surgery — that there’s something inferior about a woman’s body because it’s been surgically “enhanced.” Guys, you’re talking about my family. We’re all beautiful. If I never said anything about it, you’d never know — but even if the surgery was obvious, it wouldn’t change the fact that it’s our right to self-determine how we look. Keep reading »
A woman in Tampa got a third breast cosmetically added to her chest à la “Total Recall,” and that would be cool enough on its own, but her motivation makes it even better: “I got it because I wanted to make myself unattractive to men. Because I don’t want to date anymore.”
YAAAASSSSSSS ALL HAIL JASMINE TRIDEVIL! Keep reading »