Today is March 14th, Pi Day, and in honor of this nerdiest of holidays, we thought we’d help you infuse some math swagger into your flirting game. Because come on, what is sexier than math? Nothing. Nothing is sexier than math. Here are 10 pickup lines sure to charm your way into a hot date, or at least score you a sexy romp on your horizontal axis, if you know what we mean…
Women, you’ve probably heard at least one (but probably a lot more) cheesy-ass, horrible, insulting pickup lines in your life. My all time least favorite being: “Come on baby, whip your pussy out!” Yes, a man said that to a woman walking down the street. He might have been drunk and wearing a jacket made out of a garbage bag, but it happened. Runner up for worst pickup line, and definitely said on purpose by a man who I was on a date with: “Your eyes are ominous.” Just embarrassing.
The other night I was hanging out with one of my gay friends and he was doing his favorite thing: showing me all the weird dudes who message him on GROWLr a social networking hookup site, which is like Grindr, but for gay bears. We stumbled onto the canned pickup lines that you can send to fellow bears to express interest. They’re called “growls.” Obviously. What I found was more appalling than I’d imagined. In a side-by-side comparison, “Your eyes are ominous” is innocuous compared to “My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t control it.” “And these work?” I asked my friend, flabbergasted. “It depends on how bad I want to get laid,” he shrugged.
With all the candy, costumes and wild parties, Halloween is the perfect holiday to trick-or-treat for hookups. We say, capitalize on the cheesiness of the holiday and test out so totally lame pickup lines. Worst comes to worst, the person who rejects you will never know what you really look like. They’ll just remember you as that pervy witch who tried to get in their pants. No loss, no foul. After the jump, pickup lines especially for Halloween! Keep reading »
I think Mitt Romney is my favorite reality show of all time. He just keeps the gaffes coming. The joy (and horror) in Romney’s campaign relies on his bizarre verbal blunders, and thanks to his campaign’s Twitter, the gold keeps coming. Check out this video where I turn some of Romney’s classic lines from his speeches and tweets and warp them into patriotic, sexy pick-up lines. God bless America!
Ever wonder how to hit on someone at The Kentucky Derby? These pickup lines are a safe bet:
1. I’m like the Kentucky Derby, the most exciting 2 minutes of your year.
2. Wanna get Kentucky Dirty?
3. I’ll be the boss and you can be my Secretariat. Keep reading »
“The Hunger Games” have officially begun in theaters! GAH! Let’s celebrate with some pickup lines from Panem… Keep reading »
Silly Bandz. Where do I even start? Where did they come from? How did they become popular? What’s the point of them? I don’t get it. They’re annoying. But hey, kids will be kids. And part of being a kid is hopping on the “silly trends” train. Yes, I had slap bracelets in 1990. But Silly Bandz for adult use? Hell no.
Apparently, Silly Bandz are a new flirtation trend for singles in bars and clubs. Keep reading »
Luann Haley, a single mother and bill collector, is seriously regretting opening her mouth last night. Haley tried to hit on President Obama in Buffalo, saying, “You’re a hottie with a smokin’ little body.” Oh my. That’s really, really embarrassing. Luann claims she was “just trying to be funny.” We hope she learned her lesson. Don’t hit on Obama unless you have a great pickup line in your pocket. [Washington Post]
After the jump, ten pickup lines that may have fared better with our Commander-in-Chief. Keep reading »
I was perusing Men’s Health this morning, seeing what words of wisdom it was doling out to its readers these days when I found something that may actually be of more “help” to a female audience. The article, called “Sexy Things Women Have Told Men’s Health Readers,” may give us ladies some insight into what sorts of lines make an impact on the opposite sex. I, for one, am completely surprised by what some men consider “sexy.” Check out some of the more humorous entries after the jump.
Keep reading »