Julieanne Smolinski over at Lemondrop had the pleasure of attending a “Pick-Up Artist” seminar, in which poor saps shelled out nearly $3,000 to be educated by Love Systems Inc. (formerly known as the Mystery Method). The advice was pretty pathetic, and I’m about to save some schmucks a lot of money.

“It used to be my thing, I would propose all the time. Just go up to someone, you know, and say ‘I love you’ or ask them to marry you. It always works.”—Robert Pattinson