“Men cannot like rabbits,” lamented writer Dave Good in his Salon essay about how the pet bunny he adopted was not the chick magnet he dreamed it would be. In fact, the “quiet little guy who lived on salad, used a litter box, and slept under the bed” ruined his sex life. “Somewhere in mid-stream,” he writes of the one time he was able to lure a woman back to his place for sex, “the bunny snuck under the bed and began madly pounding the floor with its feet — rabbitspeak for danger — which scared my date. She left, and I never saw her again.”
That does sound unsettling — to hear a bunny pounding away under the bed while you’re getting pounded. But we’re not entirely sure the problem is the rabbit. Rather, that Dave lets it live under the bed. That doesn’t seem normal. And … we can’t help but wonder if he cleans the litter box often enough. Women don’t dislike bunnies, but we do hate the smell of rabbit scat. Some things that will make it absolutely impossible to do the deed. We’re willing to look past that moldy dish towel for one night, but it’s hard to ignore a bunny under the bed. Below are some more vagina killers that have sent us running. Keep reading »
Last night, I was feeling weirdly insecure. Not about the way I look. Not about my job performance. Not about a stupid boy. No, I was feeling insecure about my dog Lucca and whether or not she truly loves me. I like to think Lucca channels her thoughts through me for me to speak aloud and those thoughts are usually pretty supportive and worshipful. But what if I’m wrong? What if I’m totally misinterpreting what Lucca is actually saying to me through her thoughts? What if she … finds me deeply annoying? So I Googled it. Specifically “signs your dog loves you.” And I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. Turns out, Lucca’s actions and body language speak volumes — she thinks I AM A GOD. Click onward to learn just some of the signs your dog loves you, as presented by Lucca herself! Keep reading »
Meet Lily the cat and Lucy the hedgehog. Lily is curious about her new critter friend. Like any cat, decides the best solution to the situation is to sit on the problem and is shocked when she realizes that hedgehog spines aren’t very comfy. Lucy is one patient little hedgehog. Too freakin’ cute. [New York Daily News]
It’s a daily habit that has turned into a daily ritual: I settle onto the train with my coffee, pull my iPhone from out of my purse, and click open my Instagram app to see what Pudge is up to. Pudge (above) isn’t a friend’s cat or a family member’s cat or even a cat I’ve met in real life. Pudge is an Internet-famous cat. She’s my favorite Internet-famous cat.
I love and always have loved cats — at one point, my parents had nine cats when I was growing up — and even I can admit that sometimes being a pet owner is a pain in the butt. With Pudge, I can look at cute pictures and videos in small doses when I feel like it … and then put my phone back in my purse and not have to deal with anyone clawing at the bedroom door while I’m trying to have sex.
After the jump, here are 10 reasons Internet-famous cats are better than real cats — in GIFs!
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Different breeds of dogs have different body types. Chihuahuas are naturally petite while pugs tend to be on the stockier side. I can’t even keep going with this intro because it makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. What I’m trying to tell you is that the first doggy/owner fat camp has opened in the UK. A company called NuBeginnings is offering a joint dog-human boot camp, where “overweight owners and their furry friends can attend a week-long retreat to get in shape together.” Because you need your dog there for moral support. Or does your dog need you? Keep reading »