“We, the undersigned, would like the Obama administration to recognize the need for a new national anthem, one that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out the kitchen. America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814. Since then, we have realized that after the show, it’s the afterparty, and that after the party, it’s the hotel lobby, and–perhaps most importantly–that ’round about four, you’ve got to clear the lobby, at which point it’s strongly recommended that you take it to the room and freak somebody. President Obama: we ask you to recognize the evolution of this beautiful country and give us an anthem that better suits the glorious nation we have become.”
––This is the actual text of a petition to the Obama Administration to change the national anthem to R. Kelly’s 2003 hit “Ignition (Remix).” Only 95,000 more signatures are needed to guarantee an official response from the White House. Let’s do this. [Whitehouse via Buzzfeed]
Attention, American public: The White House has seen your petitions about building a Death Star, investigating the feasibility of building the Enterprise, and giving each state an official Pokémon. In one case they even responded in a particularly awesome way. But now they have another message for you: Cut it out, guys. It’s getting tired.
To that end, We the People—whitehouse.gov’s official petition site–is upping the number of signatures required for an official White House response from 25,000 to 100,000. Read more…
Back in March we told you Robert Pattinson has a problem with body odor. We took a lot of flack from his fans for that little mention in “Quickies,” even though we were reporting the truth. Well, now the fans are complaining about the hottie’s B.O. too. Eighty-nine people have signed the “Please Wash Your Hair, Robert Pattinson” petition so far, and another set of fans have signed the “Petition to get Robert Pattinson to take a bath!!! Who’s with me?” But there have been more positive petitions regarding Rob Patz. More than 5,000 people want him to host “Saturday Night Live,” at least one person wants him to use his British accent in “New Moon,” and several hope he’ll make an appearance in Tampa, Kansas City, and Australia. There’s no word yet whether any of these petitions have been successful, but one thing’s for sure, Robert’s celebrity will grow every day as long as he stars in the “Twilight” saga. [E! Online] Keep reading »