Tag Archives: petition

The White House Response To A Petition To Build A Death Star Is The Best Thing Ever

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The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

  • The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
  • The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
  • Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

– The White House’s response to a citizens’ petition to build a Death Star (yes, like the one in “Star Wars”), which gathered more than 34,000 signatures, is all sorts of amazing. The response — penned by Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget — goes on to laud the country’s many other advancements in space science and encourages the petitioners to do their part in enjoying the future, by “pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field.” And also, he says, “Remember, the Death Star’s power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.” Best response ever, this is. [WhiteHouse.gov]

Gay Blood Is As Good As Any, Darnit!

Happy Hump Day! We here at The Frisky would like to salute the hump and its oh-so-important role in our lives. However, who you like to hump shouldn’t dictate whose lives you can save. Unfortunately, the FDA doesn’t agree. We were totally shocked when our gay boyfriend told us he couldn’t participate in a blood drive because of his sexual orientation! The FDA’s outdated blood donation policies exclude gay men or any man who has ever even fooled around with another guy since the late 70’s — so even a meaty ménage à trois could make you too gay for the FDA. Also by proxy, any woman who has hooked up with a bisexual or gay guy — umm, hi! — is also ineligible for blood donation for a year. Keep reading »

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