Hello, there. Full disclosure. This post is a thinly veiled excuse for me to complain about my really bad morning. I could have used an open letter format. Had I, it might have been titled “An Open Letter To The Broken Refrigerator That Ruined My Morning.” I would have ranted about my broken refrigerator and all the rotten food I had to discard. And how the delivery men destroyed my apartment getting the new fridge in/old fridge out. And how my landlord stopped by in the middle of the fridge chaos to tell me that I might have a gas leak and that he is raising the rent (all in the same sentence, mind you). I might have gone on to complain about how I spent a good portion of the morning cleaning melt-y, frozen, chicken juice off my hopelessly outdated linoleum floor.
But then I thought about how Jessica got barfed on while riding the subway yesterday and how comparatively, her morning mishap was worse than mine. And then I thought about all of you out there who’ve also probably had really unfortunate stuff happen to you in the morning and how you might feel better if we could all commiserate about it together. And then I determined that a listicle of awful morning shit was in order. For all of our cathartic pleasures, find below, a compilation of crap that will absolutely obliterate your morning (based on things that have really happened to us). Keep reading »
As you may have heard, eight Olympic badminton players were recently disqualified from the women’s doubles competition for “not using one’s best efforts to win.” Apparently the real issue is that they were throwing matches to manipulate the tournament match-ups, but when I first read the headlines, I have to admit I was totally taken with the idea of being able to charge someone with the formal offense of “not trying.” I asked the rest of The Frisky staff who else we’d like to put on blast for “not using their best efforts.” Check out our list of underachievers after the jump, and feel free to add your own in the comments! Keep reading »
So, the other day, this “cucumber sub” popped up on my Pinterest page labeled as the “perfect low carb sandwich” and it made me, like, raging mad. My inner monologue went something like this (in Chris Rock’s voice): “That ain’t no motherfuckin’ sandwich!” I sent the link to Amelia who immediately shared my anger and responded with, “COME THE FUCK ON.” Soon Ami chimed in that she had similar food rage issues with Kraft Singles, and an Angry Foods slideshow was born. Click through to see 14 other edibles that make us mad…
Living in Portland means I get invited to go hiking, like, every other day. I used to accept these invitations and trudge up various mountain trails with feigned enthusiasm. It wasn’t until last week that I finally decided to accept the fact that I spend much of my day-to-day life figuring out how to avoid walking up hills and therefore find no joy in hiking. Letting go of my faux love for this activity was surprisingly liberating, so I asked the rest of the Frisky staff about the random things they’ve stopped pretending to like. Check out our list after the jump, and please add your own in the comments! Keep reading »
Dear Woman With The Rolling Suitcase Who Stole My Cab This Morning,
Did you think I wouldn’t notice? That I wouldn’t see you roll past me, stop no more than eight feet in front of me, and raise your arm just like mine had been raised for 15 minutes? Did you think I was so involved in my text conversation with my friend Steve — about whether it’s possible/weird to poop with a baby in a Bjorn strapped to your chest — that I wouldn’t see you blatantly invading my taxi territory? I can think of no other explanation for the lack of subtlety you displayed in defying the laws of cab hailing. Keep reading »