While normally I’d say I feel something akin to dipping the world in sprinkles and fluffy bunny tails, today I’m all grrrrrrr! If my attitude could morph into a shape to personify its feelings, it would be a robot with metal teeth that snorts fire at a monster truck rally. I’d crush puny cars, breathe kerosene, and charge admission! OK, clearly I can explain this shift in my personality with one acronym: PMS. Look out, kiddies, because I am about to surf the crimson wave, and until then, it’s not going to be pretty. It’s not my fault, but in the interest of fair warning, I may feel entitled to these following behaviors — and so should you!
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You turn on The Weather Channel for tornado warnings. You turn on the local radio for flood warnings. But what about those, um, natural disasters a little closer to home? Meet a new iPhone app — purportedly just for men — called Code Red: A Survival Guide To Her Monthly Cycle. Yes, boys, you can pay $1.99 to be alerted on your smart phone the exact days of the month your lady’s egg drops down her fallopian tubes. Keep reading »
In a feat of alliteration, Kris, Khloe and Kim Kardashian are now shilling for Kotex! In a video posted on Khloe’s blog, the telegenic fam feigns interest in boxes of Kotex tampons that just happen to be lying around their kitchen counters. “They like to empower women and get a dialogue going!” says Mom Kris Jenner. Then we hear all about the very special moments when each Kardashian became a woman …
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Earlier this week Kotex released sassy new commercials advertising its pads and tampons — but advertising agency JWT butted heads with three broadcast TV stations that wouldn’t let them say a very naughty, shameful word.
Yes, even though your grandma has seen “The Vagina Monologues,” when it comes to your secret special lady place, TV prefers feminine hygiene commercials use a cutesy euphemism like “down there” instead of saying “vagina.” (And two networks weren’t keen to air an ad referring to a lady’s “down there,” either.) Keep reading »
I couldn’t care less about Apple‘s BIG! EXCITING! ANNOUNCEMENT! today, since I can still barely operate my iPhone. But it has come to my attention that Apple’s new gadget’s name — the iPad — is the most period-y sounding product name in history. (All right, maybe not as period-y as the iTampon. Don’t give them any ideas!) To 50 percent of the population, a pad is something you stick in your panties and bleed over before you toss it in the trash. In reaction, Twitter is abuzz with cracks about the iPad’s name, including my fave, “I hope the iPad has wings for extra nighttime protection.” Women who work at Apple, couldn’t you have talked Steve Jobs out of this grave sanitary napkin error? [CNN] Keep reading »
If I weren’t majorly PMSing today, I would be totally in love with this charticle of my menstrual cycle journey. Created by the chick behind I Heart Guts!, the colorful chart takes you from Day 1 (Bloody Mess!) through Day 15 (Luteal Lunacy!) all the way through the day the Egg Breaks (Day 25) and your period makes its appearance. I am pretty sure I am around Day 24. Better go buy tampons.
Check out the I Heart Guts! site, where you can buy adorable organ plushy toys, posters, T-shirts, and baby gifts. The chick managed to make menstruating adorable, so it’s worth a visit. [via Jezebel] Keep reading »
The first time I got my period, my mother (after crying and then running to tell my father even though I had just asked her not to) got into bed with me and brought a rich, dark chocolate mousse with her. She explained to me that women eat chocolate during their periods because it makes them feel calm and happy. This I found to be true, but when Aunt Flo started visiting with more intensity, mom didn’t coddle, and instead handed me a huge dose of Advil. “Are you crazy?” I shouted. “This will kill me!” “No,” she said, “What’s on the bottle is a safe dose, but they use far more in hospitals when people are in pain. You’re in lots of pain.” And so for years I’ve been shoving Ibuprofen down my throat (usually eight or so a day during ladytime). Keep reading »
If Tyra Banks can share with everyone on “The Tyra Show” when she got her first period—during 11th grade, at her dad’s house—so can The Frisky editors. I’ll start!
Mine came the summer after 7th grade on the second morning of sailing lessons at the local country club. (Shut up, I’m a WASP.) One the first day of obnoxiously preppy sailing class, the students had to tread water in the pool for a few minutes to prove that we wouldn’t drown if the boats capsized. But my Blair Waldorf-ian self woke up the morning of the second class with blood in my underwear! Because I’m my mom’s baby, she majorly teared-up over me getting my period—so embarrassing! So I just snatched the pads from her and hissed that I didn’t want to talk about it. Mom had no chance to teach me about tampons and I didn’t ask!
But I spent the next several days of sailing class terrified we’d have to go in the pool again, or my boat would capsize and I’d get wet, and everybody would know I was wearing a big, soggy pad. To this day, that’s pretty much all I remember about sailing lessons! I didn’t use a tampon for the first time until I was 16 (during a performance of “The Vagina Monologues” of all places). Alas, by then, my sailing days were over.
I’m not the only Frisk-ette with a slightly tragic first period story. Our tales of tampons and trauma, after the jump. Keep reading »
I can think of lots of momentous events I wouldn’t want human pit bull/Baby Phat designer Kimora Lee Simmons
around for — and inserting a tampon
in my coochie for the very first time is one of them. But on “The Tyra Show”‘s first-ever program all about periods, Tyra Banks
shared how, at the ripe-old age of 26, Miss Fabulosity coached (bullied?) her on how to insert a tampon. An applicator-less tampon. There’s some mental imagery for you!
But Tyra’s period show wasn’t all about famous women pushing Tampax up their lady flowers: Tyra invited three doctors on the show to explain why Aunt Flo comes to visit. It’s a ghastly state of affairs for sex ed if grown women are learning why they get their periods on “The Tyra Show.” Still, I learned lotsa stuff about my monthlies thanks to Ty-Ty … like, you can still get laid if you go to bed wearing an adult diaper on your heavy flow nights. Proof of THAT above!
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