Writers often turn their relationships—failed and successful—into stories and novels. But they’re not the only creative types spinning exes into gold. Recently, a few visual and performance artists have used dating and breakups as a starting point for their work. At least some people are finding uses for their relationship failures. We can’t seem to figure out what to do with our brokenheart.

Andrea Vasa, a 30-year-old hot football—in other words soccer—player for Milan’s Brera team, is living in Dirk Bikkembergs, a high-end Italian store, parading around half-naked, lifting weights, and lolling about for anyone who happens to look in the windows. “Among the shelves and clothes hangers exposing the items that are for sale, Andrea’s personal clothes can be found, as well as the pictures and books he chose to take with him to his new home.” He’s got his own housekeeper and can invite over whomever he likes, but what if he wants to leave? “Before going out, Andrea will take a shower in a relax room papered with pages from Gazzetta dello Sport, compose his outfit for the following occasion, preen himself in one of the silver trophies, step into his Porsche and drive it out through a massive window that doubles as a garage door.” Fascinating! Too bad, Towleroad notes, the shower is the only part of the live-in scene that’s shielded from public view.

It’s comforting to know that even if I were fired from my job during these tough economic times and couldn’t find a way to make a living, I could still wake up every morning and call myself an artist. This woman does! She performed fellatio on a microphone during a performance art exhibit! It’s rather symphonic—I wonder if she considers herself a musician too? [Via Buzzfeed]