Being the inexplicable impresario of online gossip isn’t enough for Perez Hilton. Now he wants to be a music tastemaker, too. First step: founding his own record label, Perezcious Music, a subdivision of Warner Music Group. (Get the name, everyone? It sounds like “precious.”) The first person he got to sign on the dotted line was French singer Sliimy, who gained slight notoriety for his cover of Britney’s “Womanizer.” Soon after the deal was done, Perez asked celebs like Lady Gaga and Katy Perry to tweet “Who is Sliimy?” to build buzz. Now, Perez is starting a 20-town music tour called “Perez Hilton Presents,” featuring Ladyhawke, Ida Maria, Semi Precious Weapons, and (use your psychic powers ... ) Sliimy. “I think I am providing a very cool experience that folks may not have had access to otherwise,” he told CNN. “I like good music period. The artists on my bill are quite eclectic, from all over the world, representing all genres from singer-songwriter to glam rock, to pop, to dance and rock.”

So, will you be seeing “Perez Hilton Presents”? Inside rocking out or outside brandishing picket signs?

“The Tyra Show” came back for its fifth season yesterday! Perez Hilton (barf) stopped by as the first guest. But the main event was Tyra Banks, who is usually weaved to within an inch of her life, hosting the whole show with her natural hair.

Unforch, Tyra’s real hair is anticlimactic—i.e. she’s not bald. Underneath those weaves and extensions she sashays down the red carpet in, she has regular, boring, shoulder-length brown hair. On yesterday’s show, though, she may have straightened it or had a relaxer in it or something, because it was not kinky in the slightest—which kind of defeats the purpose of her saying “It’s my real hair!” Doesn’t it?

Anyway, during the show, her hairstylist, Oscar, blow-dried and curled her natural ‘do, while she chatted with three women who have some serious issues about their real hair. One of her guests was a biracial woman whose white mom didn’t want people to know she had a black father. This evil mom shaved her daughter’s hair off as a kid because she didn’t want a “nappy-headed baby.”

Is it just me or has 2009 been “The Year of Ridiculous Fights” for Perez Hilton? Sure, his derogatory blogs are sure to annoy even the thickest-skinned celebrities, but this year he seems to be digging in and truly getting under some celebrity skin. Of course, he’s at it again—this time his opponent is Demi Moore. The issue? Some suggestive party pics of her 15-year-old daughter Tallulah Willis. I’m sure you can imagine where this one’s going. That’s right ... a Twitter war.

It’s hard not to hate Perez Hilton. Dude can be a real d-bag. So, when Jezebel blogger Tracie Egan wrote on her own blog that she’s not nervous about Hilton’s new CocoPerez “lady blog,” we were pretty much in agreement. After all, Jezebel is pretty awesome as far as the feminist blog set goes, and Perez Hilton draws penises on women’s faces. But Egan moved quickly from criticizing Perez for thinking he “gets” women to bitching about gay men in general. According to Egan, gay men are to blame for most of the problems in the fashion industry.

Jezebel peeked at Perez Hilton‘s new site for 20-something women and screen-grabbed the hell out of it. The not-yet-launched site is called CocoPerez.com, and it’s for women who like their news with ejaculate dribbles scribbled on it!

Not that Perez Hilton is publishing the most poetic prose ever, but just so you know, he’s got a ghost writer—or two, or three. See, the celebrity blogger let the name ‘Jonathan Lewandowski’ appear in a post back in February and this was a bad thing because Hilton had an agreement with Lewandowski, a young blogger, to never do so. On a twisted side note: apparently Hilton also had an agreement to promote Lewandowski’s blog on his site in exchange for sex tapes? But I digress. So Lewandoski saw his name on Hilton’s site, got himself into a tizzy, and filed a lawsuit in a Los Angeles court. “Nay!” Perez Hilton said when he learned of the suit because it was not him who wrote that post, but his sister, Barbara Lavandeira. In the past, Perez has said that his sister “is my assistant and helps a little bit.” But this suit certainly makes it seem like she has a much bigger hand in the site than Perez has copped to. So why won’t he let his sis or any others get credit? It’s not like he has such a great reputation to keep in check… [Defamer]

Perez Hilton just got more hate-able: the bottom-feeding gossip blogger told The Advocate, a gay magazine, that during his fight with Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas, “I thought about calling him the n-word, but I thought the f-word was even worse.”

In response to his debacle with Perez Hilton in Toronto after the Much Music Awards, Will.i.am created a video to defend himself. Of course, Perez Hilton wanted to have the last word, so he posted a video response. The people over at Funny Or Die couldn’t resist taking advantage of the fact that it’s pretty impossible to watch the 11-minute narrative while keeping a straight face. Above is their parody, featuring Breckin Meyer with a quick appearance by Zac Efron. [I wonder how Perez felt about that. He has a crush on Zac!—Editor] Breckin, where you been since “Clueless?”

Perez Hilton is not having a great week. He gets punched by the Black Eyed Peas tour manager, whines about it, is laughed at by, oh, just about everyone but Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, gets called out by GLAAD for calling Will.i.am a “f*ggot,” and is generally told to shut his pie hole by nearly the entire blogosphere. And then yesterday, when rumors began to swirl that Michael Jackson was hospitalized after experiencing cardiac arrest, he posted the photo above on his blog, with the following text:

We knew something like this would happen!! Michael Jackson was taken by ambulance from his Holmby Hills home to a nearby Los Angeles hospital on Thursday afternoon!! Supposedly, the singer went into cardiac arrest and the paramedics had to administer CPR!!! His mother is even on the way to visit him!!!

We are dubious!! Jacko pulled a similar stunt when he was getting ready for his big HBO special in ‘95 when he “collapsed” at rehearsal! He was dragging his heels on that just like his upcoming 50 date London residency at the 02 Arena, of which he already postponed the first few dates!!! Either he’s lying or making himself sick, but we’re curious to see if he’s able to go on!!! Get your money back, ticket holders!!!!

Once it was revealed that Jackson was indeed sick—and then had died—Perez took the photo down and deleted all but the first three sentences, as if his “dubious” feelings had never existed. But the internet doesn’t forget!

We’re not the only ones who aren’t especially feeling loads of sympathy for Perez Hilton. John Mayer and Perez have been tweeting back and forth all day, with Mayer (who denied Perez’s claim that the two made out) basically suggested that Perez has something to learn from the incident. Hilton haters like Travis McCoy (of Gym Class Heroes) and Kirstie Alley have expressed downright glee. And Kelly Clarkson? Well she just laughed. Check out her radio interview above and keep clicking to read some of what the celebrity Twitterverse has to say about the Perez Hilton assault.

Since posting about the alleged physical altercation between Perez Hilton (real name: Mario Lavandeira) and Will.i.am and/or a member of his “entourage” yesterday, I’ve been thinking about some of the details. Supposedly the fight started when Fergie, also of the Black Eyed Peas, confronted Perez about being mean to her on his site. This led to Will.i.am, along with the band’s tour manager, Polo Molina, calling Perez out later that night at a club, and someone—now believed to be Molina, who turned himself in to the police—punching Perez in the face. The fight escalated from verbal to physical when—according to Lavandeira himself—Perez called Will.i.am a “f*ggot.”

This weekend, at the after-party following the Much Music Awards in Toronto, Perez Hilton tweeted that he had been physically assaulted by Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas. And then Tila Tequila was all, “Perez is lying!” Will.i.am then responded on his Twitter and posted this video. Apparently whatever occurred started when Fergie got sad because Perez was making fun of her. According to Perez, the authorities are now involved. He posted his own response video. What a bizarro story. [via Buzzfeed]

Earlier this month, when extremely explicit, triple-X photos of gay “Milk” screenwriter Dustin Lance Black were leaked onto the internet, Perez Hilton (real name: Mario Lavandeira) was one of the first bloggers to post them, in their NSFW entirety. Well, over on Huffington Post, Mike Alvear is calling Lavandeira a traitor for elevating Black “to the hook pinatas swing from” and that posting those photos—“guaranteed to repulse Straight America”—for everyone to see “took a guy who’s helping millions reconcile faith and family with their sexual orientation and turned him into a porn star.” I couldn’t agree more, but it should come as no surprise to anyone that Lavandeira is a creep.

When Carrie Prejean lost last month’s Miss USA pageant because (some think) she opposed gay marriage, after which she did an ad for the National Organization for Marriage, rather than attending to her Miss California “duties,” she made it pretty clear where her loyalty lies. It makes sense strategically—her anti-gay marriage stance ruined her appeal for many, but it did increase her popularity with a powerful few. Prejean hedged her bets by distancing herself from the Miss California Organization and lining up with those who had her back. She wasn’t going to be a pageant queen forever, after all.

She should have handed over her crown to someone who was interested in fulfilling those Miss California duties—whatever they are—since she had better things to do. But she didn’t and because of that—and Perez Hilton’s relentless campaign against her—Prejean stayed in the spotlight and the inevitable happened. Topless photos! Of a beauty queen! Who believes in God! The hypocrisy! Let the slut-shaming begin!

Perez Hilton and Miss California, Carrie Prejean, were on “The Today Show” this morning, talking about the controversy surrounding the beauty queen’s response to Hilton’s gay marriage question at Sunday’s Miss USA Pageant. On the show, Hilton was extremely well-spoken and made the argument that Miss California alienated many Americans with her anti-gay marriage response. Because Miss USA is supposed to represent all Americans, it cost her the crown. I’m not sure that I look to a beauty queen to represent me or my views to the world, but I get his point. When it was Prejean’s turn to speak, she said she spoke from her heart, and she stands by what she says, as it reflects her religious beliefs. I can kind of respect the woman for answering honestly, even though I personally disagree. But what about the fact that her response was poorly delivered? I mean, “opposite marriage”? As Hilton said, Miss California should have been better prepared for that question and had a coherent, if unpopular, answer ready to go.

Dr. Drew Pinsky and Perez Hilton Twittered back and forth last night about Lindsay Lohan’s mock eHarmony commercial, her alleged drug and sex addition, and their hopes that she get well. It was all a little presumptuous, in my opinion, but it’s amazing how much personalities like these two will say in 140 characters. After the jump, the whole exchange.

Depending on whom you ask, Perez Hilton is either the “Queen of All Media” or the proprietor of “Hollywood’s Most-Hated Website.” Born Mario Armando Lavandeira, Jr., in Miami, Florida, to Cuban parents, the 30-year-old actor-turned-blogger runs the celebrity gossip site that has redefined Hollywood coverage. Whether he’s adding splooging penises to photos of stars’ faces or shoving Lance Bass and Neil Patrick Harris kicking and screaming out the closet, Hilton has neatly positioned himself alongside the infamous to become a virtual celebrity. After the jump, the notorious blogger talks about his new book, how to blog, and who should play him—and his love interest—in his biopic.

Perez Hilton and Michael K work from opposite cities, on opposite sides of the country, and they cover opposite sides of the media machine. While these bloggers are certainly not cut from the same cloth, they are both out Latino loud mouths cracking us up about culture and celebs—who’s doing what, who’s doing who, and who is gayer than Gloria Gaynor. We follow these two bloggin’ boys like they’re as famous as the people they write about. So, let’s see how they stack up, side by side with a Perez vs. Michael K Face Off!

Now that Clay is out, he needs some love!  But who is the David Burtka to match his Neil Patrick Harris?  We ladies at The Frisky, like his surrogate Jewish grandmothers, want to fix him up!  Here are the studs we think would fire up Clay:

Lance Bass: Former member of boy band N’Sync, Lance Bass just hasn’t been the same since his break up with the man who helped him come out of the closet—Reichen Lehmkuhl.  While Reichen has already moved on, Lance has been a mess!  He’s unsuccessfully dating dudes like his married personal trainer (yikes!) and a bad tipping bartender! So he clearly, Sir Lancelot needs someone who will fight for his honor and share his love of highlights. Clay could be his bottled-blonde Prince Charming.