Tag Archives: penises

Size Matters: Long Penises Vs. Short Penises

GT: Penis Size
Why women should talk more about penis size. Read More »
Bigger Is Not Better
There's nothing wrong with a small penis. Read More »

It’s been brought to our attention that women should be talking more openly about penis size. So, talk openly we shall. We know that when it comes to having good sex, size is not the most important factor. But still, big or small, every size of  dick has it’s unique benefits and drawbacks. After the jump, our fair and honest assessment of being with men with long versus short penises. Keep reading »

Experiment! In Which I Test The Penis Size/Shoe Size Myth On Male Porn Stars

Fave Male Porn Star
Amelia's new favorite male porn star is Manuel Ferrara. Read More »
GT: Penis Size
Why women should talk more about penis size. Read More »

I am a writer.

Having said that, I ask that you bear in mind how broad that category is. I call myself a writer, and so does Philip Roth. So does my personal public enemy #1, a young woman I met in college who writes lip gloss reviews for a living. My point is that being a writer can mean a wide variety of things, and this week, for me, it meant getting in touch with male porn stars. Or rather, trying and mostly failing to get in touch with male porn stars.

The story started as all good stories do: With a penis. Surely you’ve heard the saying that you can judge a penis just by looking at the feet. Well, the other day I was sitting around bored and aimless, trying to decide what to write, when I started thinking about penises. This happens often, but on this specific occasion, the penises I’d started thinking about were The Penises That I Have Known. (I used CAPS just then because when you write about The Penises That You Have Known, it is important to be respectful.) Anyway, there I was thinking about The Penises That I Have Known, and as I continued thinking about them, I wondered if maybe there wasn’t a story there, a story in investigating whether the saying is true.

Alas: Although I could bring to mind the penises, I couldn’t remember the feet. It occurred to me then that thing to do would be to prove/disprove the idea, not with reference to my own experience, but by using male porn stars. Their penises are available to view, of course, so all I’d have to do was find the shoe size. Keep reading »

Today In Terribleness: Mom Murders Son Because Of “Small Penis”

Rape Victim Suicide
water cannon india
A 17-year-old Indian gang rape victim committed suicide. Read More »
WTF: Dreadlock Murder
This man tried to strangle his gf with his dreadlocks. Read More »
Killed For Baby Girl
baby girl photo
An Afghan woman was killed for bearing a baby girl. Read More »

A mother in Indonesia confessed to murdering her son because she was concerned that his “small penis” would ruin his future prospects. The 38-year-old drowned the boy in the bathtub, dressed him, laid him on a bed, and went to the authorities to report her crime. She told police that the boy always had a small penis but it “appeared to shrink further” after he was circumcised. The woman is currently undergoing psychological evaluation.

I think I’ll need to undergo a psych eval too after reading this story. Please tell me what’s wrong with people? This is an absolute tragedy. [Raw Story]

Australian Prisoners Are Giving Themselves DIY Penis Implants Known As “Speed Bumps”

Researchers at the University of New South Wales made a disturbing discovery while studying sexual risk behaviors in Australian prisons. They noticed a rise in prisoners with genital skin infections due to bead-like foreign bodies being inserted under the penis.Digging deeper into the phenomenon, the research team discovered that nearly six percent of male prisoners in Queensland and New South Wales were giving themselves these DIY penis implants, the majority of them while they were behind bars. Warning: the details are gruesome, so if you’re eating or weak of stomach, prepare yourself, cross your legs. Keep reading »

6 Things That Supposedly Make Men Sexier

A study published in the American Sociological Review found that men who spent more time doing “more traditionally female” household chores like cooking, cleaning, and shopping were found to have less sex than those who didn’t. “The results suggest the existence of a gendered set of sexual scripts, in which the traditional performance and display of gender is important for creation of sexual desire and performance of sexual activity,” said one of the lead researchers. Really? But really? I’m sorry, I respect scientific theory, but I simply can’t think of anything sexier than a man doing the dishes or wielding a mop or cooking dinner for me. Maybe that’s because I believe in household egalitarianism. Performative gender roles be dammed! A man doing “traditionally female” chores is a straight up aphrodisiac. [Newswise]

Click through for a few more studies about things that supposedly make men sexier to us. I’m not sure I can sign off on all of them.

Random Turn-Ons
Random things that will definitely turn him on. Read More »

We’re Breaking Up: Drunk Guy Who Had Sex With A Snowman And Got Frostbite

Be My BF: Cat Hater
He wants to eradicate all cats to save the birds. Read More »
Be My BF: Vacuum Wanker
He jumped on a roof, emptied a vacuum,masturbated and pooped in a stranger's house. Read More »
Be My BF: Outsourcer
He outsourced his job so he could watch animal videos all day. Read More »

Dear Kenneth Guillespie,

I hate to be the one to say this to you, but it’s time to get sober, buddy. You probably already know this, but it seems like you’ve finally hit “bottom” as they say. You were found half-naked, screaming in agony after attempting to have sex with a snowman. Kenneth, let’s be real here — you almost lost your dick. If you put your penis in a snowman, you’re going to get frostbite. That’s how it works. But I’m sure you weren’t thinking clearly. Because you were wasted. (The neighbors found a pile of empties near the snowman carnage.) Keep reading »

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