Use of Sharpie. Check. Penis and balls. Check. Infantile potty humor. Check. These are all the key components needed for my entertainment. Behold the penis drawing machine, which is exactly what it sounds like: a contraption that doodles dicks with the press of a button. Where was this thing when I was in middle school? Earth Science would have been exponentially more exciting. [YouTube]
Having a partner with ejaculation problems is the best thing that ever happened to my sex life. He’s the love of my life and a passionate Duracell bunny of a lover who just keeps going until I’m satisfied, and (obviously, right?) I have no problems with my man’s inability to cum.
But while I’m writhing around with a satisfied smile of ecstasy at the end of another steamy marathon sex session, he worries he’s not a real man — and a quick search of Google shows he’s not the only one. There are no less than 182 million results for “I can’t ejaculate.” But despite this being a common problem there’s surprisingly little information out there about how to increase the chances of him climaxing.
With that in mind, my partner and I embarked on some (practical) research, and here are some tried and tested tips that should get even the most resistant of penises blowing their loads before you can say “baby wipe.” Keep reading »
“I could hardly dance, with an erection poking my partner … It’s not something you want to bring out at parties and show to friends,” Daniel Metzgar, the 44-year-old New Jersey man who is suing the doctor who gave him a bad penile implant, testified.
Metzgar told jurors that the inflatable prosthesis, given to him by urologist Thomas Desperito in 2009, left him with an erection that lasted for eight months. EIGHT MONTHS! That’s a really long time to walk around with a boner. Keep reading »
Santa Ana, California, woman Catherine Kieu Becker got really mad at her husband Glen for having an “inappropriate relationship” with someone. So mad that she drugged him, tied him to a bed with nylon ropes, and using a 10-inch knife, cut off his penis. She then threw the penis down the garbage disposal and turned it on, mutilating it beyond repair. Doctors were, not surprisingly, unable to reattach the organ, though Glen has now recovered and is out of the hospital.
On Monday, Becker was convicted of torture and aggravated mayhem. She’s facing life in prison without the possibility of parole. Our serious condolences to Glen.
Glen isn’t the only guy whose penis has been attacked. Of course, there’s the original penis victim, John Wayne Bobbitt, whose wife Lorena cut off his member in the middle of the night. But there are other guys out there whose penises have also been in peril. After the jump, we chronicle their stories. Keep reading »
Las Vegas man Wesley Warren Jr. made headlines for his unusually large ball. He was trying to raise $1 million to have his more than 100-pound scrotum removed, which is caused by a condition known scrotal elephantiasis. When “The Dr. Oz Show” offered to foot the bill for Warren’s ball surgery, he turned them down saying he didn’t want to lose the fame his testicles had earned him. Keep reading »
“I’m willing to bet his problem is his balls … Balls cause the most bulges. His penis is not going down his pant leg like mine. I prefer constriction myself … As you get older, your balls drop and need support. If it’s his penis that’s causing the problem, he can point it up like European men … He needs to just nod and chuckle, but not answer any questions.”
– Jonah Falcon, the man with the world’s largest penis, gives Jon Hamm unsolicited advice on how to handle his bulge. I just kept reading this over and over again thinking, This isn’t real. Point it up like European men? Is that a thing? I’m dying.I’m sorry Jon Hamm, I know you’ll think I’m rude for posting this, I just couldn’t resist. [Huffington Post]