According to the journal Britannia, along with other ancient Roman artifacts like coins, brooches, Kama Sutra knife handles and phallic, gold pendants, amateurs using metal detectors unearthed these winged penises. Carved from animal bones, the penises are thought to be between 1,600 and 2,000 years old, from the time period when the Romans ruled the area now known as Britain. Apparently, flying dicks were common motifs throughout the Roman Empire. (Dare I ask why?)
Best part of the discovery: in England and Wales, there’s a loophole for amateur loot hunters, which allows them to potentially own any artifacts discovered on their own. This means there may be a winged penis auction happening any day now on Ebay. [Live Science]
Attention men of humble endowment, we’ve been telling you forever that it’s not the size that counts. But you didn’t believe us. So a Danish website Singlesex.dk decided to host a small penis competition to help prove that penis size is not at the core of manhood. “There are so many unhappy men out there, who think you have to have a giant penis, but it’s not normal to have a huge one,” says site owner Morten Fabricus. AMEN!
The man with the smallest dick in Denmark will be handsomely rewarded with an iPhone or iPad. That should do wonders to boost his ego! From now until January 31, Danish fellows can enter by posting an anonymous dick pic with a measuring tape next to their member. May the smallest man win! [Sun UK]
If your penis or vagina is the competitive type, click through for some more real competitions you can enter your genitals in.
Like Tim Patch aka Pricasso, I also get all my best ideas when I’m in the bathroom. Unlike him, it’s never occurred to me to make a smiley face with my pee. Lucky for Pricasso, this idea led him to start experimenting with using his penis (and sometimes his balls and/or bum) as a paintbrush. His penile painting career has proved to be a fruitful idea (aside from the potential gangrene he’s susceptible to from all the paint-to-penis contact), and now, Pricasso makes all of his masterpieces wearing nothing but a top hat and a bow tie. And because I know you were wondering, yes, he did find penile painting erotic and get raging boners when he first started his career, but now he’s gotten past that and he has great control of his tool. OMG, I kind of need that picture of Gordon Ramsey painted by his dick. [VICE]
A few months ago, we told you about Mao Sugiyama, the self-described “asexual” artist who cooked up and served his own genitalia. To be more specific: the 23-year-old underwent elective genital-removal surgery, certified that the body parts were free of infections, froze them for two months, then, under the supervision of a chef, cooked his severed penis shaft, testicles, and scrotal skin, garnished them with button mushrooms and Italian parsley and served the dish for $250 to five lucky diners at a banquet hall in Tokyo. OK. That’s all you need to know. Oh wait. I should add that he also had his nipples removed but decided not to serve them. OK. That’s really all. I promise. (As if you could handle anymore details. I’m practically gagging here at my computer screen.) Keep reading »
Try to have sex with an animal against its will, expect a penis injury.
“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” said 44-year-old Russian man, Alexander Kirilov.
I spent a long time trying to understand this sentence. The thought of “having some fun” with an animal is beyond my scope of comprehension. Keep reading »
Over the course of working on my novel, Shrinkage, I did a lot of research into penis enlargement practices. My novel is a work of fiction, but some of the real-life stuff I dug up is stranger than anything I could have come up with. Let’s get serious and focus on all the actual ways that you can increase the size of your manhood. But wait, are there really any?
Pills: Products with names like ExtenZe, ErectZan and the somehow recently knighted-sounding Sir Maximus round out the hundreds of offerings in this category. Read more …
An anonymous lady decided to share these pics of USA Olympic gymnast Danell Leyva with the world because he allegedly “sorta played” her. She has a fully nude pic of the 20-year-old Miami native as well, but wants to “see how it goes” with these pics first. We’re sorry for this woman’s pain, and we get that she was trying to exact revenge, but really, it’s going pretty well for us. We can’t deny that we’ve thoroughly enjoyed looking at Leyva’s pecs, er, pics. You probably want to look, too. Go ahead. Do it! Spoiler: He wears Hugo Boss boxer briefs, doesn’t wash the chalk off his hands before he masturbates and has a healthy-sized … ego. [Deadspin] Keep reading »
You know what I love about the Olympics? (Besides the brawn, the insane mastery of skill, and the bringing together of so many countries in a peaceful display of healthy competition, of course.) The clingy, tight, flesh-grazing, aerodynamic fabrics of so many of the uniforms. Yes, that’s what it is…
For more Olympics coverage, follow @pgbeauty
Thieves stole a man’s penis while he slept, according to police.
Fei Lin, 41, of the Niqiao village near Wenling City, in east China’s Zhejiang province, told police he was asleep when the thieves burst into his room and put a bag over his head, according to CEN/EUROPICS and as reported in the Daily Star.
“They put something over my head and pulled down my trousers and then they ran off,” Lin said. “I was so shocked I didn’t feel a thing – then I saw I was bleeding and my penis was gone.” Read more …
What you are looking at is not a tank full of dismembered members. Behold the urechis unicinctus, a species of spoon worm also known as the Fat Inkeeper Worm or the penis fish. Instead of burrowing in vagina like human penis, these Fat Worms like to bury themselves in sand or mud. If you visit Japan, Korea or China you can have the great pleasure of feasting on the penis fish. Don’t you want to? Don’t you? Well, at the very least, you probably want to watch the video again. And because I know you’ll enjoy getting to know these spoon worms better, I’ve included another video of penis fish just being penis fish. Check it out after the jump. [Buzzfeed]
Keep reading »