“It wouldn’t be acceptable it would be seen as sexual harassment, people saying [to an actress], Your vagina … You know? … I’m insecure, of course I am. But that was just a matter of me going, OK and just getting naked … I’ve never really thought of myself as good looking. I think of myself as, you know, alright … I used to have bad acne as a teenager, so all of this is a bonus now, the fact that I don’t have pimples any more…And my hair was also, you know, unfortunate. I had really long hair. I mean, I tied it back most of the time, but I had all these frizzy bits coming off the top.”
–Michael Fassbender shares his plight with Elle UK. Poor Fassy is just an insecure, former nerd who became a sexy-as-hell, epically well-endowed A-List actor. Leave him alone about his penis already! OK, you pervs? [Metro UK]
“Yes. In fact, [Paula] likes to [listen to my music in the bedroom now] more than ever now. Sometimes she’ll even play groupie for me.”
– Robin Thicke makes us all go ICK in his way too TMI Elle interview. So, in case you were wondering, he and Paula are having TONS of sex. Other things I learned about Robin (and his father, Jason Seaver, I mean, Alan Thicke) that I didn’t want to know: his father had an indoor jacuzzi that he used to seduce women; Robin saw one of those women naked in the shower when he was a kid; his father taught him how to play it cool with women so he didn’t seem desperate; his penis is bigger than his son’s, but smaller than LeBron James’; he walks around the house naked; and he has a cheerleader fetish. I could keep going but I don’t want to. This interview explains so much. [ELLE]
Sex messes can be kind of a pain to clean up, but I think most people get the hang of it after a while. Soap, water, baby wipes, tissues and maybe a towel and some hydrogen peroxide if period sex has been had. One Mumsnet user has come up with a method far more unorthodox for post-sex clean up. She calls it “penis dunking”:
“We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me. Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing. Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?”
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You might have big plans to dress as James Franco’s character from “Spring Breakers” this Halloween. But really, the only costume that matters is the one you’ll treat you’re date to later that night when you strip down to your birthday suit. If you really want to have a “look at my shit” moment, don’t wait until the last minute to decide what your dick is going to be for Halloween. This Flickr user dressed his penis as a ghost last year. But we think you can do better than that. Click through for some (NSFW!) ideas about how to trick your cock out this Halloween.
On a recent episode of Conan O’Brien, “Masters of Sex” star Lizzy Caplan explained that while she didn’t grow up in a “naked house,” her parents had one super sexy book that she used to reference all the time. “We had an X-Rated cook book that was a gag gift from my parents’ wedding I think. My friends and I would take it into my room and look at it and it was really…an X-Rated cook book,” she revealed.
And what is an X-Rated cookbook, you ask? Good question. Conan was wondering the same thing as us. Luckily Lizzy elaborated:
“For example, you could make a tart that looked like a breast. Just use a raspberry as a nipple. That was one of the things in the cookbook. One of the things that stands out the most to me though, and can I still picture it when I close my eyes, is well, uh, the meatloaf that looked like a huge dick.”
In honor of Lizzy’s favorite X-Rated cook book, we hunted down the most horrifying, edible dicks that Pinterest et al has to offer. Click on the gallery to see for yourself! [ONTD]
Tumblr is like the Target of the internet. While surfing for Miley Cyrus tongue GIFs, aggregating animated porn and watching cute animal videos, you can stop off and get your penis assessed by an anonymous Tumblerbot. Critique My Dick Pic is a Tumblr with a simple premise: Send your dick pics and get them reviewed “with love” (by a woman, I presume, although I could be wrong). There’s no size or appearance shaming. Just a “ruthlessly honest,” 100 percent anonymous report on the “angles, lighting and general tone” of your, most likely, “artless and dull” penis photograph. Let’s face it, this is a service the male population is in desperate need of. It’s not that dick pics are unsavory per se, it’s just that men seem to have no idea about how to take a flattering one. We thank you, penis critic, whoever you are. [Critique My Dick Pic]