Tag Archives: penises

Best Drunken Public Transportation Fight Devolves Into Penis/Vagina Insults

Train-Fight
Small Pussy Vs. Four-Inch Killer

As tends to happen when people drink and ride public transportation during the holiday season, fights break out. It’s unclear how this brawl between these two potty-mouthed passengers on the Long Island Rail Road began, but it doesn’t really matter how it started (apparently the drunk man was yelling while the woman was on the phone with her kids), it’s far more important how it ended: with the hurling of genital-related insults. After the jump, an abbreviated transcript of the fight. Take notes for the next time you get in a drunken public transpo kerfuffle and don’t have any zingers at the ready. Keep reading »

This Woman Makes Crocheted Penises For A Living

  • Shana Xavier makes her living selling crocheted penises on Etsy. She should be friends with the woman who knits from her vagina. They could build an X-rated, wool empire together. [Nerve]
  • Let’s review this year in bad, wrong, weird, strange sex. Like, the invention of the robot that gives handjobs and the discovery of dinosaur erotica. [Huffington Post]
  • PsychopathBeGone is not a real online dating site, but it should be. [The Stir]
  • People claim to be able to do these preposterous sex positions. BWHA! [Cracked]
  • Transgender woman, Jennifer Finney Boylan, talks about her experience volunteering at Salvation Army. [Newser] Keep reading »

The Girl With No Vagina — Plus, The Time Mike Tyson Used A Fake Penis

  • British teenager Jacqui Beck said she was in “total shock” when she learned that she had been born without a vagina at the age of 17. That wasn’t something she would have noticed sooner? [Huffington Post]
  • Enjoy some pics from Rihanna and Drake’s $21,000 night out at a strip club.That’s A LOT of singles. [Celebuzz]
  • There are two kinds of cheaters. Find out which one cheated on you. [The Stir]
  • These five responses to sexism are NOT acceptable. [Cracked]
  • Mike Tyson’s new book includes some really insane confessions. Find out about the time he used a fake penis. [Newser] Keep reading »

Michael Fassbender Would Like Us To Leave His Penis Alone

“It wouldn’t be acceptable it would be seen as sexual harassment, people saying [to an actress], Your vagina … You know? … I’m insecure, of course I am. But that was just a matter of me going, OK and just getting naked … I’ve never really thought of myself as good looking. I think of myself as, you know, alright … I used to have bad acne as a teenager, so all of this is a bonus now, the fact that I don’t have pimples any more…And my hair was also, you know, unfortunate. I had really long hair. I mean, I tied it back most of the time, but I had all these frizzy bits coming off the top.”

Michael Fassbender shares his plight with Elle UK. Poor Fassy is just an insecure, former nerd who became a sexy-as-hell, epically well-endowed A-List actor. Leave him alone about his penis already! OK, you pervs? [Metro UK]

Robin Thicke And Paula Patton Do Rock Star/Groupie Role Play & Other Things You Didn’t Want To Know About Him

Robin Thicke And Paula Patton Do Rock Star/ Groupie Role Play

“Yes. In fact, [Paula] likes to [listen to my music in the bedroom now] more than ever now. Sometimes she’ll even play groupie for me.”

Robin Thicke makes us all go ICK in his way too TMI Elle interview. So, in case you were wondering, he and Paula are having TONS of sex. Other things I learned about Robin (and his father, Jason Seaver, I mean, Alan Thicke) that I didn’t want to know: his father had an indoor jacuzzi that he used to seduce women; Robin saw one of those women naked in the shower when he was a kid; his father taught him how to play it cool with women so he didn’t seem desperate; his penis is bigger than his son’s, but smaller than LeBron James’; he walks around the house naked; and he has a cheerleader fetish. I could keep going but I don’t want to. This interview explains so much. [ELLE]

Penis Dunking Is The Weirdest Post-Sex Cleanup Method We’ve Ever Heard Of

Penis Dunking Is The Weirdest Post-Sex Cleanup Method We've Ever Heard Of

Sex messes can be kind of a pain to clean up, but I think most people get the hang of it after a while. Soap, water, baby wipes, tissues and maybe a towel and some hydrogen peroxide if period sex has been had. One Mumsnet user has come up with a method far more unorthodox for post-sex clean up. She calls it “penis dunking”:

“We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me. Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing. Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?”

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