Hazel Jones, the woman with two vaginas, became old news the moment the man with two penises agreed to do a Reddit AMA. DoubleDickDude, who describes his two penises as both “100 percent functional,” explained to curious Redditors that he was born with a condition called Diphallia and “did NOT absorb a twin.”(If you think you can handle it, here is very NSFW pictorial proof of his double phallus — both flaccid and erect.) Oh, but that was just the beginning of what he explained. As you can imagine, there were more than 10,000 questions — some of them predictably dumb, like “Can you write your first and last name in the snow simultaneously?” and many of them similar to what you must be asking yourself right now like, “How does he pee?” We’ll get to that, but first, let’s explore this little tidbit he dropped in FAQ:
“I am bisexual and in a committed relationship with a man and a woman, but have permission to stray only with James Franco… wherever he is.”
I have a strong suspicion that James Franco would be into it. James? After the jump, I’ve included his answers about a few of the things you’re probably most curious about and a few you may not be, like how impressive his helicopter is. I couldn’t resist.
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“It wouldn’t be acceptable it would be seen as sexual harassment, people saying [to an actress], Your vagina … You know? … I’m insecure, of course I am. But that was just a matter of me going, OK and just getting naked … I’ve never really thought of myself as good looking. I think of myself as, you know, alright … I used to have bad acne as a teenager, so all of this is a bonus now, the fact that I don’t have pimples any more…And my hair was also, you know, unfortunate. I had really long hair. I mean, I tied it back most of the time, but I had all these frizzy bits coming off the top.”
–Michael Fassbender shares his plight with Elle UK. Poor Fassy is just an insecure, former nerd who became a sexy-as-hell, epically well-endowed A-List actor. Leave him alone about his penis already! OK, you pervs? [Metro UK]
“Yes. In fact, [Paula] likes to [listen to my music in the bedroom now] more than ever now. Sometimes she’ll even play groupie for me.”
– Robin Thicke makes us all go ICK in his way too TMI Elle interview. So, in case you were wondering, he and Paula are having TONS of sex. Other things I learned about Robin (and his father, Jason Seaver, I mean, Alan Thicke) that I didn’t want to know: his father had an indoor jacuzzi that he used to seduce women; Robin saw one of those women naked in the shower when he was a kid; his father taught him how to play it cool with women so he didn’t seem desperate; his penis is bigger than his son’s, but smaller than LeBron James’; he walks around the house naked; and he has a cheerleader fetish. I could keep going but I don’t want to. This interview explains so much. [ELLE]