Posts tagged "penises"

PETA Says Eating Chicken Wings While Pregnant Will Affect Your Unborn Child’s Penis Size

I appreciate what PETA does, but when they take it too far, they really take it too far. They recently sent a letter to the founder of the National Buffalo Wing Festival warning them that they should ban pregnant women from eating wings because scientific evidence suggests that the sons of pregnant women who consume…

By: Ami Angelowicz / August 29, 2013

We’re Breaking Up: Guy Who Exorcised A Ghost From A Woman’s Vagina With His Penis

Dear Huang Jianjun,

I know you take your ghostbusting extremely seriously. Killing ghosts has been your passion since you saw “Ghostbusters” in the ’80s. I’ve always wanted to be supportive of you and your dreams, so I refrained from telling you that I thought your idea to start a ghostbusting business was absurd.

By: Ami Angelowicz / August 22, 2013

Benefit’s New Mascara Ad Might Make You Blush, Or Just Really Confused (NSFW)

Lolwhat. Allow me to present to you Benefit’s new “Real Men Don’t Fake It” video spot, feat. some bulges, babes, and Vinny of “Jersey Shore” infamy doing… yoga? And all this for mascara! Not safe for work, my friends, not safe for work. (All said, that mascara is pretty fucking great… but big dick great?

By: Rachel Krause / August 22, 2013

The Dong Show: 10 Penises Featured On HBO

Last week, the girls of College Humor had a “boner” to pick with HBO about their lack of dongs. Whether they show them “in between the boobs” or on their own, they plead with the network to show us “an inch of grade A man meat” for every pair of breasts. A fair request. The…

By: Ami Angelowicz / August 20, 2013

An Open Letter To The Man Who Sent Me Unsolicited D**k Pics,

Dear I’m Too Kind To Use Your Real Name,

I am writing this letter because I’m hoping I can prevent you from ever sending another unsolicited picture of your naked penis to another human being again for the rest of your life. When I clicked on an email in my inbox with the…

By: Ami Angelowicz / August 9, 2013

Coming Soon On TLC … The Scrotum Show

You probably know Wesley Warren Jr. as the man with the 132-pound nut. At first Warren didn’t want to undergo surgery for his scrotal lymphedema, but found it to be the best option for his health and safety.  After all, wearing an upside-down hoodie to cover your ball in public, watching TV while resting your…

By: Ami Angelowicz / August 1, 2013

The Man With The “Smallest Penis In Brooklyn” Just Wants Us All To Love Our Junk

This weekend, 27-year-old Nick Gilronan won the title of “Smallest Penis In Brooklyn” and the $200 prize that came along with it. But don’t be feeling bad for this single UPS store Assistant Manager (who models and acts on the side and technically lives in Queens) for being a “grower, not shower” — not only…

By: Ami Angelowicz / July 22, 2013

Size Queen Gardner Disappointed By This Strawberry Schlong

When Carole Collen of England found this rare, penis-shaped strawberry growing in her garden, her reaction was disappointment rather than excitement.

“I did think it was a bit small. It would have been nice if it grew a bit bigger,” said the 52-year-old.

How rude! I think Carole needs to work…

By: Ami Angelowicz / July 11, 2013

Woman Grabs Man’s Crotch Before Duo Robs Him

Apparently, a crotch grab is the real way to a man’s heart — or to his nonexistent wallet. Two women in Seattle made a really, really poor robbery attempt after making a date with a man they casually seduced by grabbing his crotch.

According to police reports, the caretaker victim was helping a…

By: Alyson Penn / June 29, 2013

Penis Accidents: Man Rips His Off While High On Mushrooms

I believe this is what one would call a really bad trip. No one is really sure how, but a 41-year-old Columbus, Ohio, man managed to mutilate his own penis while high on mushrooms. The man was found naked and screaming in from of a Michigan middle school, bloody from the waist down, with part…

By: Ami Angelowicz / June 25, 2013

The Penis Drawing Machine Makes Dirty Doodling So Much Simpler

Use of Sharpie. Check. Penis and balls. Check. Infantile potty humor. Check. These are all the key components needed for my entertainment. Behold the penis drawing machine, which is exactly what it sounds like: a contraption that doodles dicks with the press of a button. Where was this thing when I was in middle school?

By: Ami Angelowicz / June 22, 2013

5 Tips To Help Get Your Guy To The Finish Line

Having a partner with ejaculation problems is the best thing that ever happened to my sex life. He’s the love of my life and a passionate Duracell bunny of a lover who just keeps going until I’m satisfied, and (obviously, right?) I have no problems with my man’s inability to cum.

But while…

By: Kat Williams / June 19, 2013

Having An Erection That Lasts For 8 Months Sounds Really Awful

“I could hardly dance, with an erection poking my partner … It’s not something you want to bring out at parties and show to friends,” Daniel Metzgar, the 44-year-old New Jersey man who is suing the doctor who gave him a bad penile implant, testified.

Metzgar told jurors that the inflatable prosthesis, give…

By: Ami Angelowicz / June 13, 2013

A Penis In The Garbage Disposal & 9 Other Penis Attacks

Santa Ana, California, woman Catherine Kieu Becker got really mad at her husband Glen for having an “inappropriate relationship” with someone. So mad that she drugged him, tied him to a bed with nylon ropes, and using a 10-inch knife, cut off his penis. She then threw the penis down the garbage disposal and turned…

By: Julie Gerstein / April 30, 2013

The Man With The 132-Pound Nut Finally Got Scrotum Surgery

Las Vegas man Wesley Warren Jr. made headlines for his unusually large ball. He was trying to raise $1 million to have his more than 100-pound scrotum removed, which is caused by a condition known scrotal elephantiasis. When “The Dr. Oz Show” offered to foot the bill for Warren’s ball surgery, he turned them down saying…

By: Ami Angelowicz / April 29, 2013

The Man With The World’s Longest Penis Has Advice For Jon Hamm

“I’m willing to bet his problem is his balls … Balls cause the most bulges. His penis is not going down his pant leg like mine. I prefer constriction myself … As you get older, your balls drop and need support. If it’s his penis that’s causing the problem, he can point it up like…

By: Ami Angelowicz / March 29, 2013

Bro-On-Bro Violence: When Bros Assault Bros For Drawing Penises On Bros

Bro code rule number one is that if you pass out at a party or a gathering of bros, you have to accept the consequences. The consequences, historically and bro-culturally, are typically that you’ll wake up with a dick or several dicks drawn on your face. It’s not necessarily fair, but thems the rules. So…

By: Julie Gerstein / March 27, 2013

Jon Hamm’s 8 Most Ballsy Moments

God bless Jon Hamm and his floppy, free-spirited junk. That man’s cock and balls are all over the place and he just doesn’t seem to mind at all. Not that we’re complaining. We enjoy gawking, trying to understand what’s going on his pants.

But apparently the execs at AMC don’t share in our…

By: Ami Angelowicz / March 20, 2013

To Date Or Not To Date: Crazy Facial Hair Edition

After Winona admitted that she was nursing a bit of a crush on a guy with a Spider-Man beard, we thought it might be interesting to hunt down some other examples of crazy facial hair and ponder whether or not we would date these weird-bearded dudes. Click through to check out 15 guys with seriously crazy…

Dealbreaker: His Penis Made Me Cry

At the tender age of 19, I had only seen a total of four penises: the guy who got into my bed naked after a rave in high school; my boyfriend who I lost my virginity to senior year; the balding dorm mate who I gave an unfortunate blow job to while a James Bond…

By: Anonymous / March 19, 2013